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I Just Called To Say I Hate You

, , , , | Right | July 14, 2008

(This conversation happens a week after Hurricane Katrina. The store is understaffed, we have more customers than we can handle, and prescriptions are taking four-to-six days to get filled. I also have a long line at the front of the store and am the only cashier up front.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. How may I help you today?”

Customer: “I just want to let you know how angry I am right now.”

Me: “Well, what is the problem, ma’am? ”

Customer: “I brought a prescription in four days ago and it still isn’t ready.”

Me: “Okay, well, hold on while I transfer your call to our pharmacy.”

Customer: “No! I already spoke with them and they said there was nothing they could do right now.”

Me: “All right, ma’am. I can transfer you to one of my managers.”

Customer: “I don’t want to talk to them. I just want to let y’all know how angry I am right now.”

Me: “Look, I understand. Would you like me to transfer you to a manager or the pharmacy?”

Customer: “I already told you no! I just want to let you know how mad I am right now and that I will not be shopping in your store again.”

Me: “Look, lady, they pay me $6.00 an hour. I honestly don’t care, but I will be more than happy to transfer you to someone who might! I am the only cashier and have a very long line. I don’t have time for this!”

Customer: “I just called to tell you–”

Me: *click*


This story is part of our Pharmacy Roundup!

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And On The 40th Day, The Customers Complained

, , , | Right | May 5, 2008

(It was raining one day and didn’t look like it would be stopping any time soon.)

Guest: “Hi, could you tell me when it’s going to stop raining?”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m not sure.”

Guest: “Well, why not? I came here to enjoy the park, and my family can’t do that when its pouring rain! When will it stop so we know when to come back?”

Me: “Hold on a sec…”

(I pick up the phone.)

Me: “Hi, GOD? Ya, its me, how you doing? Ya, ya… I’m good as you can see. Well you see this woman standing next to me? She’s wondering when you’re gonna stop the rain so she can enjoy the park… Oh, okay. I’ll let her know! Have a magical day!”

(The woman storms off to another cast member and demands to see my manager. I got fired, but it was TOTALLY worth it!)

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How Dorothy Does Her Shopping

, , , , | Right | April 9, 2008

(This happened during a tornado that crashed down just up the street from the store I worked in. The power went out, and one of the AC units had almost been ripped off the building. After a brief panic in which all customers and staff were shut in the tornado-shelter/assistant manager’s office, we employees locked down the building and started counting down registers, waiting until the storm had calmed down to let anyone go. It was raining, and the parking lot was actually flooding at this point.)

Me: “Wouldn’t it be funny if someone came tearing in here, possessed with the desire to buy something? Because obviously, in the dark, during a tornado, this is the best time to beat crowds.”

Team Lead: *laughs* “That’s mean.”

(Not ten minutes later, standing by the glass front doors to watch the storm, we see a woman run across the four-lane highway outside, dodging between stopped cars. She tears across the parking lot, carrying her high heels in her hand, and stops to put them on before trying the doors to our building. She tugs, but they’re locked, so of course, she knocks. After a moment of amazement, our Ladies department manager answers the door.)

Department Manager: “Ma’am, we’re closed.”

Woman: *panting* “Really?”

Me: “Tornado took our power out.”

Woman: “Are you really closed?”

(By now, both the captive customers and the employees are exchanging glances. I look at our team lead, who stares wide-eyed at the woman.)

Department Manager: “There’s really no way we could ring you up for anything. We have no power.”

Woman: “Oh, that’s too bad. I thought now would be a good time to get some shopping done! I’ll just go back to my car, then.”

Department Manager: “Ma’am, there is torrential rain pouring down out there, and the wind is moving the cars.”

Woman: “Well I can’t buy anything, so why should I stay?” *leaves*

(Though our policy states that we should try to detain people, we cannot legally do that, so our manager lets her go. I turn to our team lead and say…)

Me: “…didn’t I just tell that joke?”


This story is part of the More-Customers-Versus-Mother-Nature roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

23 Hilarious Stories About Customers Versus Mother Nature

 

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Customer To The Rescue

, , , , | Right | March 4, 2008

(I am currently working in the electronics section of a discount superstore when I am approached by a customer, which is surprising since the state is being hit by a significantly large ice storm.)

Customer #1: “Hi, I’d like to pick up my pictures.”

Me: “Hmm… it seems they aren’t in yet. When did you send them out?”

Customer #1: *very angry* “They were supposed to be in today!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but the lab where they are processed is hours away and it’s too dangerous for the drivers to be out on the roads today.”

Customer #1: “Well, I made it. How come they can’t?”

Me: “Sir, you live on the street behind the building, which is a much shorter and safer distance compared to the over 120 miles the driver would have to drive, especially on roads that not even emergency vehicles won’t go onto.”

Customer #1: “I was told my pictures were going to be back today, and I want them today!”

(I’m about to apologize to the man but am beaten to the punch by the customer behind him…)

Customer #2: “Yeah! You guys should have dog sleds on the side just in case.”

Customer #1: “Don’t be ridiculous!”

Customer #2: *in a very apologetic tone* “I’m sorry, I thought it was my turn to make insane demands.”

Customer #1: *storms off talking to the air about how rude people are*

Customer #2: “That was fun!” *walks away*

(Unfortunately, I never got to thank that second customer. Wherever you are, [Customer #2], thank you.)


This story is part of our Chilly Weather Roundup!

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