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Rain Drops Keep Falling On My (Thick) Head

, , , , , | Right | December 31, 2009

(I am working the drive-thru. It is raining heavily.)

Me: “Thank you for choosing [Fast Food Place]; how can I help you?”

(All I hear is the rain falling, so I repeat several times until the customer finally pulls around.)

Customer: “Did you get my order?”

Me: “No, I didn’t hear you say anything, sir.”

Customer: “Oh, well, I didn’t want rain to get in my car. I wasn’t sure if you could hear me through my window.”


This story is part of the Drive-Thru roundup!

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Takes One To Snow One

, , , , | Right | December 10, 2009

Customer: “My goodness, this line is crazy! I’ve been in line ten minutes already! Why aren’t there more employees assisting us? Who is the manager here?”

Me: “Sir, I apologize for the delay. Due to the snow, I’ve had multiple employees call in saying they are unable to safely come to work this morning.”

Customer: “Well, that is just ridiculous! So an employee can decide that they don’t have to show up for work?”

Me: “If an employee feels they cannot safely report to work during severe weather conditions, we ask that they make their personal safety their primary concern.”

Customer: “Must be nice! You can just call and pretend to be concerned for your personal safety and then just take the day off? Makes you wonder what you people would do if you ever got a real job! It’s a good thing this isn’t making me late for my job today.”

(I seize on the opportunity and try to change the subject.)

Me: “Yes, I notice you’re in rather later than normal this morning. Are you on vacation?”

Customer: “No! I have the day off! My office is closed!”

Me: “Oh, how nice! Any particular reason you are closed today?”

Customer: “Duh, the snow! Maybe you’ve noticed it? Are you blind or just stupid?!”


This story is part of our Ironic Customer roundup!

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The Wind In The Windows

, , , , , | Right | November 24, 2009

Me: “Thank you for calling [Tech Support]. How may I help you today?”

Caller: “I’m having problems with my computer and–”

(Suddenly, what sounds like an air raid siren sounds off in the background.)

Me: “Ma’am, I apologize. I was unable to hear what you said.”

Caller: “Stupid tornado warnings! They always make it hard to talk on the phone.”

Me: “Oh… should I let you go?”

Caller: “Nah. This happens all of the time.”

(In addition to the siren, I hear a door slam and the sound of someone else entering the room. I hear a male voice who I guess is the caller’s husband.)

Caller’s Husband: “D*** it, woman, are you crazy?! Get to the basement!”

Caller: “Oh, I guess I should go…” *hangs up*

Noah Already Had Two Customers On The Ark

, , , | Right | October 26, 2009

(Much of our area is suffering from massive flooding. A man walks into our chain pharmacy, completely drenched from the chest down.)

Me: “Wow, what happened to you?”

Customer: “I tried to go to your other location and it was closed!”

Me: “That location is flooded, sir. There’s about four feet of water surrounding it.”

Customer: “I know! I had to wade all the way up to the door before I found out it was closed! How do you think I got so wet?”


This story is part of our Customers Versus Mother Nature roundup!

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Can’t See The Forest For The Airborne Trees

, , , , | Right | October 23, 2009

Me: “Thank you for calling [TV Company]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, my TV is broken.”

Me: “I’ll be glad to help you today. What is wrong with your TV?”

Customer: “The picture keeps flashing on and off.”

Me: “Okay, ma’am. Can I have you check the connections on the back of your TV to make sure everything is screwed in tightly?”

Customer: “Well, the lights in my house are flashing on and off too. We’re in a tornado warning. Do you think that has something to do with it?”


This story is part of our Customers Versus Mother Nature roundup!

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