Your Forecast For Today: Dark

, , , , | Right | January 14, 2009

Me: “Thank you for calling [Technical Support]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, I have this error stuck on my TV screen — ‘Acquiring Satellite Signal.’  How do I fix this?”

Me: “I show from your account info that your area is undergoing a hurricane. Are you having bad weather now?”

Customer: “It’s raining and windy.”

Me: “Well, the rain and cloud cover are going to block your signal until the storm passes. The weather reports show that this is a major storm; have you considered evacuating for your own safety?”

Customer: *angrily* “How do I know if I need to evacuate when the TV only shows me this ERROR?!”

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Beefed-Up Technology

, , , , | Right | January 9, 2009

(I am a customer at a cell phone store, observing the following exchange.)

Employee: “I’m sorry, sir, but your phone has water damage, which isn’t covered by the warranty. You will have to purchase a new phone.”

Customer: “That’s ridiculous! I haven’t gotten the phone wet!”

Employee: “Have you used the phone in the rain? Sometimes, that’s all it takes to get the internals wet enough to damage the device.”

Customer: “Well, yes, but that doesn’t make any sense! Cows are in the rain all the time and they don’t die!”

Employee: “…”

Me: *interjecting* “Sir, cows aren’t electronic devices.”

Customer: *storms out*

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Of Mountains And Molehills

, , | Right | October 3, 2008

(It’s wintertime and the car wash is shut down because it tends to freeze below a certain temperature.)

Customer: “Why is the car wash closed?”

Me: “It’s below 20 degrees. It has to be closed or it’ll freeze.”

Customer: “But I just bought a car wash and now I can’t wash my car!”

Me: “Those car washes don’t expire. You can use it when the weather warms up a little bit.”

Customer: “The g**d*** car wash is always closed! EVERY TIME I COME IN HERE, THE CAR WASH IS CLOSED! IT’S ALWAYS–”

Me: “HEY!”

Customer: *backs up, surprised*

Me: “It’s just a car wash.”

Customer: *walks out in a huff*


This story is part of our Even-More-Bad-Drivers roundup!

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Customer Service, God Speaking

, , , , | Right | August 14, 2008

(I’m working at the library; it’s cloudy and raining outside.)

Patron: “Can you do something about all that noise?”

Me: “Is the AC too loud? Maintenance isn’t here today, but I can give you some earplugs.”

Patron: “NOT THAT!  The construction! Tell them I’m trying to work!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but there’s no construction.”

Patron: “That rumbling!”

Me: “You mean the thunder?”

Patron: “Whatever. Tell them to stop.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I really have no control over nature.”

Patron: “Ugh, you people! You can’t do ANYTHING!”

(Sadly, this man is a doctor.)


This story is part of the More-Customers-Versus-Mother-Nature roundup!

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I Just Called To Say I Hate You

, , , , | Right | July 14, 2008

(This conversation happens a week after Hurricane Katrina. The store is understaffed, we have more customers than we can handle, and prescriptions are taking four-to-six days to get filled. I also have a long line at the front of the store and am the only cashier up front.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. How may I help you today?”

Customer: “I just want to let you know how angry I am right now.”

Me: “Well, what is the problem, ma’am? ”

Customer: “I brought a prescription in four days ago and it still isn’t ready.”

Me: “Okay, well, hold on while I transfer your call to our pharmacy.”

Customer: “No! I already spoke with them and they said there was nothing they could do right now.”

Me: “All right, ma’am. I can transfer you to one of my managers.”

Customer: “I don’t want to talk to them. I just want to let y’all know how angry I am right now.”

Me: “Look, I understand. Would you like me to transfer you to a manager or the pharmacy?”

Customer: “I already told you no! I just want to let you know how mad I am right now and that I will not be shopping in your store again.”

Me: “Look, lady, they pay me $6.00 an hour. I honestly don’t care, but I will be more than happy to transfer you to someone who might! I am the only cashier and have a very long line. I don’t have time for this!”

Customer: “I just called to tell you–”

Me: *click*


This story is part of our Pharmacy Roundup!

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