The Rain Really Drowned His Spark
Like most places that are part of the city government, our public library does close if there are catastrophic weather conditions, like hurricanes or blizzards. We have also closed during the summer when the HVAC broke down and temperatures had climbed past 100.
Naturally, the staff kind of enjoys the unexpected time off, but the ones who really celebrate are our pages — mostly high school students — who watch for every possible upcoming disaster to see if there will be time off. But that’s only for disastrous conditions.
And then, there was Sparky. Sparky (not his real name) was a good worker — when he was working. Most times, though, we all got our exercise looking for Sparky. He was either late or often a no-show, and his excuses included the usual sick grandparents, wrong buses, getting lost, etc. But it takes so long to get new people to replace the ones we have that no one had the desire to fire him and go through the process.
One day, there was a steady rain — not too unusual for April — and there was no Sparky. At last, the reference desk phone rang and my coworker, who was also in charge of the pages on our floor, took the call. As he answered, he looked at me and rolled his eyes.
Coworker: “Hello, Sparky! We were getting worried.” *Pauses* “Uh-huh.” *Pauses* “No, the library isn’t closing.” *Pauses* “Why did you think we would close?” *Pauses* “No, we don’t close for spring rain showers.” *Pauses* “No.” *Pauses* “Yes, we did close for the hurricane, but that was, you know, a hurricane.” *Pauses* “Nope, not for rain. I understand you don’t drive. How about taking the bus?” *Pauses* “Do you own an umbrella?” *Pauses* “Then you can stand at the bus stop with the umbrella and you won’t get wet.” *Pauses* “I see… Well, then, Sparky, tomorrow it’s supposed to be nice. I recommend you come in and get your last paycheck because you are fired.”
He hung up, looked at me, and shrugged.
Coworker: “Apparently, we are only open when the weather is nice. Maybe Sparky melts if he’s out in the rain?”
It took months to replace Sparky, but we didn’t really miss him. In fact, not having him around was pretty much like having him around.