All Treat, No Trick

, , , , , | Friendly | November 1, 2019

It was Halloween in Illinois, and the weather decided to try to stop our trick or treaters from having fun. It was snowing and very icy. Many people decided to stay home, except me, my three brothers, and my boyfriend. We got all bundled up and put on extra, extra layers of socks. We all had these scary-a** expensive masks that looked real.

No one else was out in the street except some troopers who were just like us. That night, we each got big handfuls of candy from each house since we were the only ones out and about. It was a truly amazing night and so worth the small frostbite that seemed to almost get us.

My mum had bought some Jelly Belly candy from Wisconsin; we had gotten crates full since they had a sale for five dollars a crate of jelly beans in tiny bags themed after Cars 2 or The Incredibles. So, I went around and gave as many as I could away to kids, adults, store employees, and people who gave me candy. I felt really good since they were an expensive brand that not many get often.

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Got Wind That Something Was Wrong

, , , | Working | October 30, 2019

(It is just after a massive storm in the UK. Trees are down, no one can cope, Americans are laughing at us, etc. My dad is driving me to work because I don’t drive and the buses aren’t running. We get halfway there and have to turn around because of a tree on the road. I give my manager a call to tell her that I’ll be late because we’ll be finding another route.)

Manager: “That’s fine! I’m just on my way myself. Just get here when you can.”

Me: “Okay, thanks. I probably won’t be that late, but, you know.”

Manager: “It’s fine…” *there’s a long pause* “Actually, don’t worry about coming in.”

Me: “Are you sure? I really don’t mind—”

Manager: “Really, don’t bother. We don’t have a marquee.”

(Turned out, the marquee we used as our gift shop, which held our tills and about ten picnic tables, blew away in the storm.)

Me: “What?”

Manager: “We don’t have a marquee. Don’t worry about coming in today. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

(I came in the next day to find a new marquee up. I started hearing stories from people who had made it in on time the day before or had later start times about finding and dragging the entire marquee across the main field — we were an open farm sort of place with tractor rides, animal petting, etc. — only to find massive rips in it. Unsurprisingly, we were not open that day.)

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The Future Is A Little Foggy

, , , | Right | October 28, 2019

(A very thick fog is covering the city. During this time, motor vehicle access to the airport platform area is restricted.)

Customer: “I need to go do some maintenance work on the platform.”

Me: “Okay. Unfortunately, access is restricted right now. We cannot let you in there until the fog clears.”

Customer: “All right. Can you tell me when that will happen?”

Me: “Let me just check from my crystal ball here…”

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You Know Nothing… About Snow

, , , , , | Working | October 2, 2019

(I’m working at a farm in rural Vermont in the dead of winter. Sugaring — making maple syrup — season is coming and my boss wants me to shovel the snowy doorways to his sugarhouse — building used to collect tree sap and boil it in to maple syrup — for an open house he is hosting. It’s not the type of stuff I was hired for but I’m broke and it’s paying so I do it. I shovel the doorways and my boss comes over with his tractor, scooping the biggest piles of snow away with the bucket. Together we make the sugarhouse look nice and neat. I finish the rest of my work and go home. The next day I get to work and he greets me.)

Boss: “How come you didn’t shovel out the doorways?” 

Me: “Huh?”

Boss: “It looks a mess.”

Me: “What are you talking about?” 

Boss: “When I ask you to do a job, I expect you to do it and to do it right. If you can’t do your job then what am I paying you for?” 

Me: “Why don’t you show me what I did wrong and I’ll fix it?” 

(We start walking toward the sugarhouse. I am confused since I did clean the doorways and he watched me, he was right there helping me too. His directions are confusing sometimes and often he will switch topics mid-sentence and not even know it so his directions sometimes get muddled.)

Boss: “I shouldn’t have to be doing this with you. I shouldn’t have to do your thinking for you. You’re a big girl now and you need to be thinking with your adult brain.”

(I knew him when I was a kid but I’m 25 at this point. I am blown away by his rudeness, but I know if I say anything it will devolve into an argument I’m not going to win, so I grin and bear it. We get to the sugarhouse and I see the problem. It snowed in the higher elevations the previous night and the added weight made all the snow from the roof drop into the previously clean doorway. It now looks as if it were never cleaned at all.)

Me: “I see the problem here. The snow fell off the roof. That’s what happened.” 

Boss: “Oh.” 

Me: “How’s that adult thinking for ya?” 

Boss: “Well, why didn’t you say anything?” 

Me: “You watched and helped me yesterday; I just assumed I’d done something wrong.” 

Boss: “Well, don’t do that.” 

(I didn’t stay long after that. I got a new job and found out that a coworker’s grandson was working for the same guy, my old boss, a few weeks later. He said his grandson was fired for “back talking” to my old boss. Apparently, the backtalk was, “You’re being really rude right now.” Funny thing is, my old boss wondered why he couldn’t keep help for his farm. He surmised that it was because “nobody wants to work anymore.” No, people don’t like being berated for doing their jobs in 10F degree weather all winter for minimum wage. But I’m just a dumb girl who can’t think, so what do I know?)

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Slow Down When Snow Down

, , , , | Legal | September 24, 2019

(I grew up in Utah on the Wasatch Front and Back with all the snow and bad driving conditions in winter. In fact, when I am learning how to drive, my uncle takes my cousins and me out on the frozen lake, tells us to get the car up to 35 mph, and then reaches over and jerks the wheel really hard. That causes the car to spin and basically teaches us how to mostly control a car when it starts to spin out on the ice. The first time in my life I ever have a true snow day where school is canceled, all the roads are closed, and the city basically shuts down is when I am living in Sherman, Texas, attending my first year of college where everyone on campus, apart from me, grew up in Texas or another southern state. I wake up to my phone blowing up from people asking me to give them rides to the supermarket because I am the only one who knows how to drive in snow. This is very funny to me; everything is shut down because of an inch of snow on the pavement, which is such a trivial amount of snow. One of the calls I get is from a friend who has the biggest, most supped out, Ford F150 I’ve ever been in. It’s basically every Texas boy’s dream truck. He says I can drive it if I take him and his roommates to pick up supplies for the storm. Of course, I say h*** yeah and, of course, I have a little fun by sliding the truck around every corner and basically freaking everyone out by making them think the roads are a lot worse than they really are. On our way back to campus, I get pulled over for the first time in my life just as it starts to snow again.)

Officer: “I’m going to need your license and registration. Do y’all know why I pulled you over?”

Me: “Here’s my license, sir. This is [Friend]’s truck and I’m sorry, sir, I don’t know why you pulled us over. I thought I was obeying all the traffic laws.”

(My friend hands over his license and the registration for his truck.)

Officer: *taking a look at my license and seeing that I’m from Utah* “Where were y’all headed?”

Me: “Back to campus, sir. We were trying to make it to [Store] before they closed since campus is shut down and we needed food.”

Officer: “Just so y’all know, all the roads are closed. Y’all go straight back to campus and stay there.”

Me: “Yes, sir. So, I’m not in trouble?”

Officer: “Judging by where you’re from, you’re safer out here than I am, so you’re getting a warning. Get back to campus and stay there.”

(With that, he gave us our stuff back, walked back to his car, and let me drive away with less messing around… until he was out of sight.)

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