A Storm Of Crazy Requests

, , , , | Right | June 25, 2018

(It is pouring rain outside, and our area is under warnings for severe storms. There have been tornadoes touching down in a couple of nearby towns, but nothing close enough to us that our shop would close. It is raining so hard that we can only see several yards outside of the windows, with thunder loud enough to shake the small front office building at times, and bright, frequent lightning. In the middle of this torrential downpour, a customer pulls his car up in one of the parking spaces near the office door and runs inside.)

Customer: *with water dripping off his jacket to puddle on the floor as he comes to my reception desk* “Hi, can someone come outside and look at my car? I need an estimate on repairs.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we won’t be able to right now. Would you like an appointment for later in the week?”

Customer: “You mean no one can step outside right now?”

(He eyes my coworkers at their desks on the other side of the office.)

Me: “No, sir. I’m sorry. It’s a hazard for our team. Plus, it’ll be hard for them to really see everything that needs fixing in this rain.”

(I chuckle politely, but I’m thinking of the dangers involved in standing in the middle of an open parking lot with all the lightning flashing, not to mention the pouring rain and the hail and tornado warnings going on.)

Customer: “But I’m here now!”

Me: “Sir, there is no way I can send any of our team out there in this weather. We’d love to help you once it clears up, though.”

Customer: “I want to talk to someone now. It’s just the side of my car that needs fixing; it’s not a lot!”

(One of my coworkers comes over, all of them having heard the exchange. He tells the customer the same thing I did, then peeks out the window to try to see what the car’s damage looks like.)

Coworker: “From here, I can tell you that you’ll need…” *lists multiple pieces for the car, including a hood, a headlight, and several things on the side of the car* “And that’s not counting anything internal. You’re looking at least [high dollar amount] for all of those. If you want to come back later, we can definitely write it all up for you and get an exact price.”

Customer: “That much?!”

Coworker: “Yes, I’m afraid so.”

Customer: “Man, I thought this was going to be easy!”

These Puns Are The Real Horror Story

, , , , , , | Right | June 12, 2018

(There is some really thick fog this night, and I just finished carrying out an order for a customer to their car. I come back in, and a coworker friend from another department is in my department looking around. I walk over, and we go to lunch a few minutes later.)

Coworker: “What were you outside for, by the way?”

Me: “Oh, just bringing out an order to a customer. It was small, so I didn’t mind.”

Coworker: “How bad is the fog out there?”

Me: “It’s like Silent Hill kind of thick, again.”

Coworker: “When it’s thick like that, I try to catch it, but I always mist.”

(I dropped my spoon, and my coworker friend and I burst out laughing. We will both always laugh at even the worst of jokes and puns, and I hadn’t heard that one in a while. When we both walked out that night, we were trying to catch the fog like children, but always mist.)

Wait For A South-Westerly To Blow It Back

, , , , , | Working | June 1, 2018

(My niece’s birthday is in January, and for her birthday present, my sister offers to order her a customized ring. It takes my niece a while to decide, but they put the order in right before Valentine’s Day. Finally, at the beginning of March, the ring is shipped out and set to be delivered to the apartments where my sister and I live. Unfortunately, the delivery date happens to be the same day the east coast is slammed by a nor’easter.)

Sister: “Did you happen to bring in a package for me today? A small one, probably less than a pound?”

Me: “Uh, no? Why?”

Sister: “I was expecting [Niece]’s ring today, and I got an email saying it was delivered around five o’clock today, but I can’t find it.”

Me: “It wasn’t between the storm door and front door?”

Sister: “No, it wasn’t, and the tracking info says it was left on the porch.”

Me: “What? In these winds? There are news reports of the winds knocking down entire trees around town! What kind of idiot leaves a one-pound package on an exposed porch in a nor’easter?!”

Sister: “Your guess is as good as mine.”

(Needless to say, my sister now gets the joy of jumping through hoops to get a replacement.)

Not The Right Climate To Face Facts

, , , , , | Working | May 29, 2018

(There is still a ton of snow on the ground and cold temperatures, despite it being mid-March. My coworker and I are leaving our office for the day and she says, in all seriousness:)

Coworker: “So much for global warming.”

Me: “Well…” *looks around* “This is for sure global warming.”

Coworker: “But there’s still all this snow! And it’s so cold.”

Me: “…”

(I really didn’t feel like going through what global warming is with her… a 30-something mother of two.)

Your Impatience Has Hit The Roof

, , , , | Working | May 28, 2018

When I was fourteen we had a fire late at night that destroyed the roof and attic of our house. Thankfully, nobody was hurt, because our neighbours saw the fire and alerted the fire brigade. We found out that the fire was caused by lightning striking the overhead power line. The city was in the process of taking down the lines and putting them underground. Our house still had the overhead line, but they had already cut the grounding.

Since it was their fault, they were responsible for putting up a new roof. They had almost finished it one Friday but left the roof ridge open the entire length of the house. My mom asked them about rain, but they said that due to the slant of the roof it wouldn’t rain inside. Also, the forecast was good and they were finishing the roof on Monday.

Lo and behold, on Sunday one of the worst summer storms of the year happened. We were in church and came home to rain pouring down the open roof. We didn’t have enough containers, so we got all our woollen rugs and spread them under the opening to catch the water and prevent it from soaking through to our bedrooms. My mom and I spent two hours wringing woolen rugs into tubs and my twelve-year-old brother tried to carry them downstairs and outside to empty them. We called the guy in charge and he told us not to bother him because the rain had seeped into his basement and he was busy.

They did repair all the water damage, but a little help during the crisis would have been appreciated.

Page 2/912345...Last
« Previous
Next »