My coworker’s son’s school was cancelled due to a tornado warning. I had to call him about something, and the conversation shifted to his son having a virtual learning day.

Coworker: “It’s crazy! Canceling for wind? We were never that lucky.”

The “wind” in question was reaching gusts of up to 80 mph, and it was raining enough that our road drainage system could not keep up.

Me: “They’re doing remote classes today, though, right?”

Coworker: “Yeah, but we didn’t have that option.”

Me: “We graduated in a time when dial-up was fancy. Of course it wasn’t an option.”

Coworker: “They get to stay home and still be in school; they don’t lose vacation days to make up for missed classes.”

Me: “Yeah, but we—”

Coworker: “—Kids today are so spoiled.” *To his son.* “Do you know how lucky you are?”

Coworker’s Son: *In the background.* “You sound like you walked to school in the snow. Uphill. Both ways.”

He quickly ended the call. I didn’t even get to point out that we work remotely from home almost every day.

I work at an insurance agency. Literally the day before a major hurricane makes landfall, a customer calls me.

Caller: “I need to buy insurance on a home.”

Me: “Where is it?”

Caller: “Tampa Bay.”

Me: “Uh… isn’t Hurricane Helene about to hit there?”

Caller: “Yeah, which is why I need insurance, moron!”

Related:
A Storm Of Entitlement, Part 9
A Storm Of Entitlement, Part 8
A Storm Of Entitlement, Part 7
A Storm Of Entitlement, Part 6
A Storm Of Entitlement, Part 5

A customer comes in and asks me for the battery back-ups for his computer. Now, it’s important that he specified that he wanted it for his computer, because I work in TVs, on the literal opposite side of the store. No big deal, it’s cool, people don’t pay attention to big signs that say things like “Computer Accessories” or “Home Theater.”

The storm of the millennium is about to roll through (Hurricane Harvey), so basically everything related to power protection is sold out, but I take him over to the aisle anyway, just to check. We have two left. They are pretty small ones that don’t provide much backup time.

Customer: “Well, where are the rest of them?”

Me: “Well, sir, these are the last that we have left, but if you’re looking for a specific one, then I can check if another nearby store has one.”

Customer: “Well, can’t you just go grab more from the back? I know you sell more than these models.”

Me: “Sir, we don’t have any in the back. If it’s not on the shelf, we’re sold out.”

Customer: “What do you mean?”

Me: “I mean, we don’t have any more of them.”

Customer: “But you sell them. Go get more.”

Me: “There aren’t any more until the next shipment of items arrives.”

Customer: “Well, what happened to the ones that you had?”

Me: “…we sold them.”

Customer: “Right, so sell one to me, too.”

Me: “But there aren’t anymore.”

Customer: “Why won’t you sell me a d*** back up!? All I want is a backup for my computer, how hard is that?!”

At this point, I’m not sure if this guy is just a masterful troll or an absolute idiot. I’ve never had to explain the concept of the “sold out” before.

Me: “Sir, we literally have none in the building. I have nowhere inside this building where I can go to get what you’re asking for.”

Customer: “Well, this is why Amazon is putting you out of business!”

Me: “Sir, you’re free to order from them.”

Customer: “There’s a storm coming in! I won’t get them in time! Why don’t you have any?”

Me: “Because… there’s a storm coming in.”

Customer: *Throws his hands up in the air.* “What does that have to do with anything!?”

He “stormed” out (sorry). 

The storm destroyed my store the next day, and I did not mourn the loss.

CORRECTION: A typo has been corrected.

My uncle is a pilot and used to fly a lot of small planes. A few years ago, he and a friend decided to fly to the USA together in a one-engine plane. However, they decided to do this in January, and while it is the Brazilian summer, it is rather wet.

As they get to the north of Brazil, they find themselves surrounded by thunder clouds, and their little engine is soon straining under the amount of water being thrown at it. They need a place to land and fast.

Eventually, they manage to land at the military base near the most northerly town in Brazil, near the French Guiana border. There were four sergeants to greet them, looking a bit ridiculous in their t-shirts, shorts, and flip flops. After some chit chat, my uncle gets to the point.

Uncle: “So, sirs, when do you think we can fly out of here?”

Sergeant: “Well, do you know the difference between winter and summer up here?”

Uncle: “Um, no.”

Sergeant: “Well, in winter it rains every day, in summer, it rains all day!”

My uncle gives a grunt of laughter, thinking the Sergeant is exaggerating, while the officers cackle with this clearly traditional line used with the oblivious southern.

Five days later, still grounded because of the non-stop rain, my uncle is forced to concede that the Sergeant did, in fact, have a point.

I heard this story third-hand, so I don’t have all the details, but you’ll get the gist.

We were at the peak of Winter Storm Fern. For those outside the USA, this storm was bad enough to send half the country into lockdown for a day, and many people were without power for several days afterwards, so make of that what you will. I was spending the storm warm and safe in my parents’ house when my father, a manager at a grocery store, got a call from a fellow manager.

Whenever that store is closed for the day, somebody always drives down to make sure everything is in order. Because of the snow, only one person – we’ll call her Kiera – was able to drive down, and only because her husband had a pick-up truck and snow tires, and they live right down the road.

When Kiera got to the store, somebody was outside trying to get in. Kiera tried to tell the man that they were closed, but he insisted that he just needed one thing, that it was an emergency, etc. Of course, Kiera knew better than to let him inside, but he was absolutely insistent that he had to buy this one thing right now. He wasn’t actively aggressive, but that could have been because Kiera’s husband came out of the truck when he saw what was happening.

Soon enough, the police were called, and the hopeful (read: crazy) customer was hauled away for trespassing and resisting arrest, because of course he did that too. Kiera was shaken up but otherwise fine, and nothing in the store was stolen or broken.

Now I’m sure you’re all wondering, what was this one emergency thing that the guy just couldn’t live without for one day? Medication? Diapers for his infant child, perhaps?

It was a light bulb, my friends. The man needed a singular light bulb.