A Howling Tornado Of Complaint

, , , , , | Right | October 3, 2017

(Our town has an earthquake and a tornado in the same day. The earthquake is very small, but the tornado does a lot of damage to certain areas of the town, and also wipes the power out for a day and a half. Naturally, we close the store when this happens, and reopen once the power is restored.)

Customer: “I was supposed to have my computer back yesterday, but I came in to get it and you guys were closed! I want a refund!”

Tech: “We were closed because there was a tornado and there was no power.”

Customer: “I don’t care why my computer wasn’t fixed on time! I want it done now!”

Tech: “Since we were closed, because of the tornado and all, we couldn’t repair any of the computers that were booked in. We just reopened this afternoon, so I’m starting to work on them all now.”

Customer: “Well, when will it be ready?!”

Tech: “Probably tomorrow.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! It was supposed to be ready yesterday, and now it’s not going to be ready until tomorrow?!”

Tech: “Yes. Because there was a tornado.”

A Hurricane Of Volunteers

, , , , , | Hopeless | September 30, 2017

(My sister works for a travel agency. Most of her clients rent vacation homes in the Caribbean: Barbuda, Antigua, and other islands recently devastated by a record-breaking hurricane. Because of this disaster, she has been continuously fielding calls from irate customers who either demand refunds, want to know why their flight is cancelled, or generally display a lack of concern for those who lost everything in the hurricane. Then, she gets this gem of a gentleman.)

Caller: “Hi! I wonder if you can tell me about my upcoming vacation. I’m worried the hurricane probably ruined the beach house. I also want to check my flight and see if it’s possible that it’s still a go.”

Sister: “Okay, let me look up your account… Yeah, it looks like your reservation was on one of the islands affected; we haven’t been able to contact anyone on the island, period, let alone the specific owner of the condo you reserved. I don’t see any problems with the airline listed, but that doesn’t mean it will still fly out; everything is a mess down there.”

Caller: “That’s not too surprising. I looked up the airport information, and it looks like they had some damage but are staying open.”

Sister: “I don’t know how long it will take to get the systems back to normal, but I have the information you need to try and start the process for a refund. I know it’s frustrating that everything is held up at the moment, but if you could fill out the forms at least, we can send them for you as soon as possible.”

Caller: “Oh, I don’t plan to cancel. I am just loading up my suitcases with supplies that people are running out of down there, and I’m going to try and volunteer for something if the flight isn’t cancelled. Thanks!” *hangs up*

Sister: *speechless*

A Hurricane Of Inconsideration

, , , , , | Right | September 29, 2017

(My coworker and I are at the area where we park strollers for our attraction. It’s the day before Hurricane Irma is supposed to hit the town, and the park is just absolutely dead. We have some guests, but not many.)

Me: *to a couple of people coming toward us* “Good morning! Please head down to your left!”

Guest: “I know it’s terrible that these catastrophes have happened, but they’ve really opened the gates for us! No lines!” *heads down to the left*

Me: *turns to my coworker* “Did she really just say that?!”

(Apparently the prospect of people losing their homes and their lives was fine if this woman didn’t have to deal with lines at a d*** theme park.)

Being Shorts With Mom

, , , , | Related | September 28, 2017

(My father passed away shortly before Labor Day, so my mother [his ex-wife] and I have driven to Tennessee together for the funeral, and to bring back several antiques that he was storing for me after his parents died. All throughout packing for the journey, Mom has been insisting I pack shorts. I don’t like wearing shorts, and instead pack jeans.)

Mom: “[My Name], you’re going to burn up! It’s going to be just boiling when we get there!”

Me: “Eh. I’ll be fine.”

Mom: “Just one pair! You’re going to be miserable, and I don’t want to have to put up with your complaining!”

Me: “Whatever.”

(And wouldn’t you know it, for the entire 900-mile trip up there it is cold, wet, and miserable. I, in my jeans, am perfectly fine, while my mom is complaining about how cold it is. We are there for three days, and only on the day of the burial is it nice and sunny.)

Me: “’[My Name], please. Bring shorts. It’s going to be so hot. You’re going to be so miserable. I don’t want to hear you complain.’”

Mom: *laughing, and trying to sound angry* “Shut up. If you don’t shut your mouth, I’m going to kick your a**!”

A Hurricane Of Ignorance

, , , , , | Working | September 25, 2017

(I am calling my insurance company to report damage from Hurricane Harvey. I live just outside of Rockport, the town where the eye went in.)

Agent: “I understand you are reporting damage from a wind event?”

Me: “I guess you could call it a ‘wind event,’ sure.”

Agent: “Do you know the date of the wind event?”

Me: “Friday night. August 25th.”

Agent: “And do you know what time the damage occurred?”

Me: “All I know is it was Friday night and into Saturday morning.”

Agent: “It would be helpful if you could narrow it down a bit more.”

Me: “You could probably call the Weather Channel and ask what time Harvey made landfall. It was right about then, you know, since the damage was caused by the hurricane.”

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