That Snow Mountain…

, , , , , , , | Working | October 20, 2017

(My mother is an x-ray technician at a large hospital in Alabama, and it should be noted that she grew up in the Rocky Mountains of Nevada. One day, everyone starts rushing around frantically, and half the staff are heading home early. When she asks, she is told…)

Coworker #1: “I have to get up the mountain before the storm hits!”

Mom: “Mountain? What mountain? And what do you mean, ‘before the storm hits?’”

Coworker #1: “They just announced a snowstorm is going to hit Huntsville, starting in just a few hours. They’ve already cancelled schools and sent the kids home early. But a lot of us live on the other side of the mountain, so we need to get there before the storm hits, or we’ll never make it!”

Mom: “Again, what mountain? There are no mountains around here.”

(After a few more rounds of useless talk, and hearing the weather report for herself, she finally drags the coworker to a window.)

Mom: “What mountain?!”

Coworker #1: “Over there!”

Mom: *squints* “That’s not a mountain. That’s a hill. Maybe. More like a gentle rise.”

(Just then, another hospital employee comes up with a clipboard, looking rather harried.)

Nurse: “Okay, [Mom]… [Mom]…. Oh! Right. Your ride is [Coworker #2], and he’ll be there to pick you up at 5:30 tomorrow.”

Mom: “My ride? I drive myself, thanks. And my shift doesn’t start until 8:00, anyway.”

Nurse: “Oh, I know. But with all the snow, most people won’t be able to make it in. So, we’ve dropped to the bare essential staff, and everyone with four-wheel-drive is going around to pick up everybody else. You’re on [Coworker #2]’s route, and he’ll be there at 5:30.”

Mom: “You do realize I’m from Nevada, right? Rocky Mountains? Snow? My car has front-wheel drive. I’ll be here for my shift. You can take me off the list.”

Nurse: “But you need four-wheel-drive to drive in snow! What if you don’t make it? What if you crash? The ambulances won’t get to you in time!”

Mom: “We’re expecting ‘up to an inch.’ It’s not exactly a blizzard. I’ll be fine. Take my name off the list, because if someone comes pounding on my door at 5:30, my husband and I will not be pleased.”

(Mom left at her normal time and made it home, on the other side of the “mountain,” just fine. A little slow, due to traffic, but fine. The next morning, she likewise made it into work without incident, and was the only person who was well-rested, having slept her normal eight hours, instead of carpooling in hours early.)

Skimming Over The Facts

, , , , , , | Right | October 18, 2017

(Hurricane Irma hit our area on Sunday night, knocking out power to most of the state. On Thursday, I venture out to a [Coffee Shop] to see if maybe I can get a cold drink and sit in the air conditioning for a while. They are open, but there is a sign on all three doors, at eye level, that says “LIMITED MENU AVAILABLE. We have no dairy products at this time but can use coconut milk, soy milk, and almond milk.” As I’m sitting near the counter, this happens:)

Customer #1: *walking back from the condiment bar* “Excuse me, could I get milk in this?”

Employee: “Would you like coconut, soy, or almond milk?”

Customer #1: “Skim milk.”

Employee: “I’m sorry; we don’t have any dairy right now.”

Customer #1: “Okay, I’ll have cream, instead.”

Employee: “Ma’am, that’s made with milk.”

Customer #1: “You should tell people before they order! This is so stupid!” *takes drink and leaves*

Me: *to employee* “How many times has that happened today?”

Employee: “Too many.”

(Not even 15 minutes later…)

Customer #2: “I want a [size] latte.”

Manager: “Do you want that made with soy, coconut, or almond milk?”

Customer #2: “What?”

Manager: “Soy, coconut, or almond milk?”

Customer #2: “None of those. Just regular milk.”

Manager: “I’m really sorry, but we don’t have any regular milk in the store. We can make a latte with another type—”

Customer #2: “It’s only 1:00. How can you be out of milk?”

Manager: “Ma’am, we had no power for three days. Everything had to be thrown out.”

Customer #2: “Why didn’t you just order more?”

Manager: “We had no power. Where would we have kept it?”

Customer #2: “Fine! I’ll go to the one on [Street]!”

Me: “Do they not understand how milk works, that it needs to be in a fridge?”

Manager: “I’m not sure anymore. Want to know something funny? The [Street] location is closed because it doesn’t have power. I think we’re the only [Store] open around here.”

It’s Snow Problem

, , , , , | Right | October 10, 2017

(It has just snowed on the weekend, so our restaurant decides to close on Monday. We open the following day, and I come in for night shift. It is about 11:35 pm and I am getting ready to close at midnight. A customer comes in.)

Me: “Hi, welcome to [Restaurant]. What can I get for you?”

Customer: “Hi. Um… I’ll have the… actually, wait.”

(I give her a confused look.)

Customer: “Was y’all closed yesterday?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. The streets were really icy and a lot of our employees weren’t able to make—”

Customer: *cuts me off* “Are you serious?!” *She starts to yell* “I placed my order several times through the app! I called 62 times and nobody answered! I even have the call list to show you! And then I had to drive up here to find out that y’all was closed!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. We didn’t realize the weather was going to—”

Customer: “NO! YOU’RE NOT SORRY! I NEEDED THE FOOD YESTERDAY! ME AND MY KIDS WERE REALLY HUNGRY AND BECAUSE Y’ALL WASN’T OPEN WE WASN’T ABLE TO EAT ANY FOOD!”

Me: “I’m so sorry about that, ma’am. Next time, I’ll let the sky know to not make it snow so you can eat.”

Customer: “Okay! Thank you!” *walks out happy*

A Howling Tornado Of Complaint

, , , , , | Right | October 3, 2017

(Our town has an earthquake and a tornado in the same day. The earthquake is very small, but the tornado does a lot of damage to certain areas of the town, and also wipes the power out for a day and a half. Naturally, we close the store when this happens, and reopen once the power is restored.)

Customer: “I was supposed to have my computer back yesterday, but I came in to get it and you guys were closed! I want a refund!”

Tech: “We were closed because there was a tornado and there was no power.”

Customer: “I don’t care why my computer wasn’t fixed on time! I want it done now!”

Tech: “Since we were closed, because of the tornado and all, we couldn’t repair any of the computers that were booked in. We just reopened this afternoon, so I’m starting to work on them all now.”

Customer: “Well, when will it be ready?!”

Tech: “Probably tomorrow.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! It was supposed to be ready yesterday, and now it’s not going to be ready until tomorrow?!”

Tech: “Yes. Because there was a tornado.”

A Hurricane Of Volunteers

, , , , , | Hopeless | September 30, 2017

(My sister works for a travel agency. Most of her clients rent vacation homes in the Caribbean: Barbuda, Antigua, and other islands recently devastated by a record-breaking hurricane. Because of this disaster, she has been continuously fielding calls from irate customers who either demand refunds, want to know why their flight is cancelled, or generally display a lack of concern for those who lost everything in the hurricane. Then, she gets this gem of a gentleman.)

Caller: “Hi! I wonder if you can tell me about my upcoming vacation. I’m worried the hurricane probably ruined the beach house. I also want to check my flight and see if it’s possible that it’s still a go.”

Sister: “Okay, let me look up your account… Yeah, it looks like your reservation was on one of the islands affected; we haven’t been able to contact anyone on the island, period, let alone the specific owner of the condo you reserved. I don’t see any problems with the airline listed, but that doesn’t mean it will still fly out; everything is a mess down there.”

Caller: “That’s not too surprising. I looked up the airport information, and it looks like they had some damage but are staying open.”

Sister: “I don’t know how long it will take to get the systems back to normal, but I have the information you need to try and start the process for a refund. I know it’s frustrating that everything is held up at the moment, but if you could fill out the forms at least, we can send them for you as soon as possible.”

Caller: “Oh, I don’t plan to cancel. I am just loading up my suitcases with supplies that people are running out of down there, and I’m going to try and volunteer for something if the flight isn’t cancelled. Thanks!” *hangs up*

Sister: *speechless*

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