Sadly They Don’t Need A Card To Feel Privileged

, , , , , | Right | December 26, 2017

(It’s a few days past Christmas. I work in retail, and it’s been an exhausting day of processing returns and dumb questions. I have a return to make at the local big box store after work. When I get in line at customer service, the lady in front of me is being belligerent about returning some washcloths she claims to have gotten as a Christmas gift.)

Customer: “Why are they only ringing up for 50 cents?! They were three dollars a piece!”

Employee: “These are clearance items, and since you don’t have a receipt, I can only refund the item’s current price.”

(This goes on for a few minutes more, with the lady who apparently doesn’t know what a receipt is for becoming more and more abusive. I’ve been dealing with this kind of nonsense all week and it dawns on me that I don’t work here.)

Me: “Excuse me, ma’am, did you show her your card?”

Customer: “What card?!”

Me: “‘Your special privileges card. The one that says the rules don’t apply to you.”

(The customer turned a lovely shade of purple and started unleashing a legendary stream of invective at me. The clerks, who moments before were on the verge of tears, were trying their best not to laugh. I probably didn’t make anything easier for the employees, but I’ll be d***ed if it didn’t feel good to do that.)

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What A Sweet Gesture

, , , , , | Hopeless | November 23, 2017

(I am working a long shift at the thrift store, and have not eaten for a while. A customer approaches me with a plastic bag with some white thing inside.)

Customer: “Hi! Who is the manager now?”

Me: “Well, that would be [Manager].”

Customer: “Oh. Well, is she out on the floor?”

Me: “No, ma’am. She’s in the back. Would you like me to call her up for you?”

Customer: “No, no, that’s fine. How many people are working today?”

Me: “Three.”

Customer: “Only three?! Well, I guess you each get a box.”

(She pulled three boxes of delicious-looking caramel rolls out of her bag and walked out, after I thanked her profusely. Not all customers are horrible!)

Burn Your Return

, , , , , | Right | June 18, 2017

Customer: “I would like to return these pants.”

Me: “Okay, do you have your receipt?”

Customer: “Yes, I do.” *hands the receipt to me* “I’m returning them because the girl blew her nose and picked up a receipt off the floor and didn’t wash her hands. I think they are contaminated.  They are dirty now. You need to train your employees to be sanitary.”

Me: “Aren’t you the woman who used to come in the dry cleaners I used to work at and always complain and try to get a free order? Then I went to working at [Local Drug Store] and you had issues there, too. Let me tell you something. We are sales associates who try to do our jobs and make other people happy. But you are one customer who I know well, and nothing satisfies you.”

Customer: “I want to see a manager.”

(Manager comes up to the register.)

Manager: “How may I help you?”

Customer: “This employee is back-talking me.”

Manager: *holding up the pants* “What is your reason for returning this now? Let me tell you something, miss. Every week, you are in here returning something, sometimes more than once a week.”

Customer: “Well, your sales associates are disrespectful and this item was touched by someone who didn’t wash their hands after they rang me up and they blew their nose. They also picked up a slip off the floor. I can’t shop in a store so dirty.”

Manager: “I can return the pants, but honestly, I don’t like to lose customers. In your case, however, your returns are far outweighing your purchases and we feel you are abusing our return policy. This is the last return we are processing for you. I am asking you to not come back in this store, as you’ve had a history of harassing associates.”

(The customer took the completed return and left, clearly in shock. That’s the last time I saw the Watertown Retail Bully ever around my area.)