They Totally Mismanaged That

, , , , , , | Working | February 8, 2018

(There is a notice up in the back room for people to apply to a manager position. I am currently an associate, but I have been working at the company for a year while most other employees are brand new. I don’t want to become a manager, though, and the deadline passes with only new people applying. Two days past the deadline, the current manager pulls me aside.)

Manager: “Hey, [My Name], why didn’t you apply?”

Me: “Oh, I’m taking summer school and I’m worried about not being able to balance the two well.”

(She pulls me out for these talks for the next two days until she eventually convinces me I can do it. I submit my application, and two weeks later I get a phone call.)

Manager: “Hey, [My Name], we didn’t go with you for the manager position, but you can reapply in July.”

Me: “Oh, okay… Can I ask why? I mean, you asked me personally for two days to apply, so…”

Manager: “Well, we were worried you’d be so focused on school that you wouldn’t be able to give it your all at the store.”

Me: “Sure, that makes sense, but… I mean… when you asked me to apply, I told you I had summer school, yet you still asked me to apply.”

Manager: “Yeah, I guess I did… Oh, well, sorry about that.”

(I quit two months later because the new manager they hired who “had more time to focus on the store” ended up being a huge screw-up.)

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There Is Such A Thing As Too Early

, , , , , | Working | February 6, 2018

(I walk into the store after I finish my break and see a teenage girl sitting on a couch with no associate helping her.)

Me: “Hello. How can I help you today?”

Girl: “Oh, I’m not a customer. I’m waiting for my interview.”

Me: “Oh! Hi, I’m [My Name], the manager. What’s your name? I don’t remember having an interview set for 1:30. Are you sure you’re here for the right date?”

Girl: “Oh, no. My interview is at 2:30, but I was worried about being late for this, so I came a little early.”

Me: “Oh… Well, why don’t you hang out in the food court, get some coffee or food, and then come back five minutes before 2:30?”

Girl: “Oh, no, thanks. I ate before I came and I don’t like coffee.”

Me: “So, you’re just going to wait here for an hour?”

Girl: “Yup! It’ll be a good opportunity to see how the store is run.”

Me: “Okay.”

(I got to work and the girl sat there on her cell phone for the next hour. So much for “watching how the store works.” Tip for job seekers: come ten to fifteen minutes early for an interview. Anything more makes the manager feel rushed to get to you and just doesn’t leave a good first impression.)

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Taking Stock Of Your Laziness

, , , , , | Working | January 19, 2018

(I come out of the back room with my hands full of toys. One of my new employees sees me struggling and comes to help me.)

Me: “Can you stock those walking dogs for me? I have a lot more stuff to bring out.”

Employee: “Sure.”

(I go to the back room to grab more stuff, and when I come out I see him at the front talking to another employee.)

Me: “Wow, that was fast!”

Employee: “Uh-huh.”

(I think nothing of it until an hour later when I go to sign out and see the dogs thrown haphazardly in the corner of the back room. I grab them and storm up the employee.)

Me: “We clearly have a different definition of what ‘stocking’ means.”

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Email Failed To Get A Job

, , , , | Working | August 15, 2017

(I call a possible employee with a job offer. She had listed her cell phone as the best means for communication. I call her three times with no answer and I send her two emails. I do just about everything but literally knocking on her home address. After a week of no replies I move on to the next person on my list. Two weeks later the girl who didn’t answer my multiple phone calls and email comes into the store.)

Woman: “Hi, my name is [Name] and I’m just checking in on my application.”

Me: “Oh, yeah… I tried calling you and emailing you to offer you a job and you never replied.”

Woman: “Oh, wow, really? I’d love a job! This is so unexpected—”

Me: “No, no. I wasn’t offering you a job. I mean, I WAS, but you never replied so I went to the next person on my list. Here’s a tip: if you’re expecting a job offer, check your email and cell phone regularly, especially if you list them on your resume.”

Woman: “Well, I’ve been getting a lot of telemarketing calls so I don’t answer calls anymore.”

Me: “What about email? I emailed you twice.”

Woman: “I’m worried about viruses.”

Me: “Okay. So listen, these are common worries but if you’re this type of person, then don’t list cell phone and email as main ways of communicating with you.”

Woman: “Well, my mom told me I had to. I’d prefer FaceTime-ing or Skype.”

Me: “The only time I’d EVER FaceTime a possible employee for a job is if they live far away, which you don’t!”

Woman: “So… no job, right?”

(No, she didn’t get the job.)

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Job-Seek And Destroy

, , , , , | Working | May 31, 2017

(I am the manager at a shoe store. We are hiring seasonal employees for the summertime. A teenage girl comes in to hand in her resume. I review it and a week later we set up an interview time via email.  However, when her interview time comes around a different girl comes in.)

Girl #2: “Hi, I’m here for my interview with [My Name].”

Me: “Uh, are you [Name On The Resume]?”

Girl #2: “Yes.”

Me: “Huh. I could’ve sworn it was a different girl who came here two weeks ago. She had bright red hair and cat eye-glasses. Did you change your look?”

Girl #2: “Oh, no, it was a different girl. I was studying for my finals so I had my best friend go around and hand out my resumes.”

Me: “You know that’s kind of misleading, right? A lot of employers place first impressions very high on their list. I agreed in an email to an interview with the girl who handed in the resume. You know she didn’t even tell me she wasn’t you?”

Girl #2: “Oh, yeah, I told her not to. I felt it would be too confusing.”

Me: “Uh-huh.”

(Her phone dings and she unlocks her phone right in front of me.)

Girl #2: “Oh, my mom just texted me that I should mention I’m going to be going away for most of July. We’re going to Cuba for my graduation gift. This won’t be a problem, right? You guys need employees and I can work for most of the summer. Well, until August… I think. Let me text my mom and—”

Me: “I think you should just go home.”

(Honest to God, this wasn’t even the worst possible employee that came in.)

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