Hopefully, This Experience Sinks In

| Right | May 17, 2012

(Note: I’m a lifeguard at a large waterpark. A guest approaches my station.)

Guest: “Being a lifeguard is soooo easy! I mean really, you just sit there all day and whistle at people.”

Me: “Excuse me, but I need to watch the water. I can’t really talk right now.”

Guest: “Ugh, you’re kidding me, right?! You’re not doing anything!”

(At this point, a coworker—also a lifeguard—speaks up.)

Coworker: “Listen, we get paid minimum wage to save lives. We are out here all day, everyday making sure people like you don’t drown. This job is hard because, honestly, we have to save people like you, okay?”

Guest: *defeated* “Oh. Sorry.”

(The guest slinks away. I found out that later in the day he had to be rescued.)

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Storm Of Protest

, , , , | Right | April 28, 2011

Customer: “I would like to make a birthday reservation for July 12.”

Me: “Okay, we can certainly do that for you.”

Customer: “Before I do that, could you tell me what the weather is going to be like that day?”

Me: “Ma’am, that visit date is over a month away. We don’t have any idea what the weather will be like.”

Customer: “But, I thought you had one of those weather-predicting machines…”

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Stupidity Comes In Different Wavelengths

, , | Right | June 4, 2010

(I am a lifeguard at my local water park, and we are required to scan pools with our eyes following our hand.)

Customer: “Hello!”

Me: “Hi, sir, can I help you find something?” *continues scanning*

Customer: “Yes, I have a question. Are you controlling the waves in this pool with your hand?”

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