Doesn’t Want Her Hair Getting Wet?

| Right | April 8, 2016

(Several coworkers and I are sitting in the front office of the water park when a customer comes in. She approaches the desk.)

Customer: “Do ya’ll have any scissors?”

Coworker: “Sure” *hands them over*

(The women then proceeds to cut off half of her pigtail braids before tossing the scissors back across the desk and walking out to the park. The manager looks at us and says:)

Manager: “Did that just happen?”

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Referring To A Different Kind Of Ride

| Right | March 1, 2016

(One of the slides at the park involves lying stomach-down or crouching on your knees on a mat. An older woman with her daughter are next in line.)

Woman: *to the lifeguard on duty* “Will I be okay on this ride? I have trouble getting on my knees.”

Daughter: “That’s not what Dad says.”

(The lifeguard could barely answer, he was laughing so hard!)

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Can’t Climb Back Down The Family Tree

| Related | February 7, 2015

(I’m swimming with my twin sister, youngest brother, and youngest sister. My twin and I are 25 and both have a child, but people often assume we are teenagers. Our siblings are teenagers.)

Me: “So, [Twin Sister], are we teenagers with babies?” *referring to what people will think when they see us*

Twin Sister: “Or are we babies with teenagers?” *referring to our teenage siblings*

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Summing Up Bad Parenting

| Right | January 12, 2014

(I work at a small water park where it’s $5 for adults and $4 for kids. I’m working as the cashier at the ticket booth when a mom and her daughter walk up. The daughter can’t be more than seven or eight years old.)

Me: “For the two of you it’s going to be $9.”

Daughter: *with a HUGE smile on her face* “That’s $5 for mom and $4 for me!”

Me: “Yes. You’re right! Good math!”

Mom: *hands over the $9 in cash* “No, honey! It’s eight dollars! Four for me, and four for you. That’s eight, ugh!”

(The mom storms in, mumbling something under her breath, while the girl’s smile vanishes.)

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Avoiding Law Suits In Swim Suits

| Working | October 1, 2013

(My husband, brother, sister-in-law, and myself all go to a new water park one day. Right off the bat my brother bumps his head on the inside of a slide and falls off his tube so we have to get him checked at the medical tent. About two hours later my sister-in-law flips off her tube and gets a bloody lip. The on-site nurse approves her to continue playing in the park. Thirty minutes after that, we are back in the medical office again.)

Nurse: “Hello again, who is it this time?”

Me: “Me, sorry. I just tripped and wanted to make sure I didn’t hurt my ankle really bad.”

Nurse: “It looks bruised and you may have pulled this muscle, but it’s not sprained. You should be fine to walk on it as long as it doesn’t swell up. Are you guys planning on leaving soon?”

Husband: “Actually we were on our way out when she fell. Why do you ask?”

Nurse: “Today is a pretty busy day, but you are the only group who has been in here all day! I’m starting to get worried about you guys.”

Sister-in-law: “Oh, don’t worry. We’re all just ridiculously clumsy. This is normal everyday for us.”

Nurse: “Oh okay…”

(On our way out, we go through the gift shop. We are stopped by an employee and handed an envelope.)

Employee: “I heard you guys had a rough day. I hope that doesn’t stop you from coming back sometime. For your troubles, here are some free tickets. They don’t expire so come back whenever you want.”

Sister-In-Law: “Thank you so much! You really didn’t have to.”

Me: “We’ll be back as soon as we heal up first.”

(On the way out, my husband slams his hand in the door.)

Husband: “OUCH!”

Employee: “Please don’t sue!”

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