Since there’s only a week left of summer, I decided to take the kids to the local amusement/water park today. As I’ve gotten older, the rides have gotten a little tougher on me. In addition, my daughter tends to get motion sick rather easily. I don’t like the way motion sickness pills make me feel, so I always take a ziplock baggie full of ginger candy to prevent and soothe nausea.

Today, I had chewy mango ginger candies, hard plain ginger candies, and hard lemon ginger candies. For those who’ve never had ginger candy, it is SPICY. The lemon ginger is probably the mildest. The plain ginger is just plain hot. The mango ginger are sweet and spicy, but they also stick to your teeth like crazy. They’re definitely an acquired taste.

As we are standing in line for the log ride, I pull out my baggie. I choose a lemon one, as does my son (thirteen). My daughter (twelve) asks for a mango one. While I’m fishing a mango one out, I hear the seven-or-so kid in front of us talk to his mom.

Kid: “I want some candy!”

Mom: *Distractedly* “I don’t have any candy.”

Kid: “But she does.” *Turns to me* “Can I have a candy?”

Me: “I don’t really think you’d like my candy.”

By this time, his mom has focused on the interaction.

Kid: *Whining* “Of course I’d like your candy!”

Mom: *Huffing* “You’ve got a whole baggie. Can’t you give him just one? Come on, don’t be greedy.”

Oh, you said the magic word there, lady.

Me: “All right.”

I dig out a lemon one. (I’m not completely heartless.)

Kid: *Still whining* “I want mango! Mango is my favorite!”

Me: “Lemon is better.”

Kid: “I want mango!”

Me: *Handing one over* “It’s kind of sticky.”

The kid rips it open, shoves it in his mouth, and gets in three quick chews while my kids stare at him. Then, he actually starts to taste it and a look of horror comes over his face. He screams and tries to spit it out. He’s jumping around and flapping his arms. His mom is panicking.

Mom: “What’s wrong?!”

Kid: *Screaming* “It’s bad! It’s hot! I want it out!”

Mom: “Spit it out!”

That’s when I pipe up helpfully.

Me: “It’s really sticky. What’s left is probably stuck in his teeth. He’ll have to wait for it to melt off if he doesn’t want to chew.”

The mom looks at me in disbelief and I shrug.

Mom: “What in the h*** did you give my son?”

You probably should have asked that sooner, lady.

Me: “Ginger candy. It’s good for nausea.”

I’m pretty sure I’d be dead if looks really could kill. We got to move up in line two spaces, though, because she whisked her kid off to a water fountain. I’d like to think the kid will think twice about demanding things from strangers. Plus, it was entertaining. Overall, the kids and I counted it as a win.

A good friend of mine and I visited lots of amusement parks and water parks in the summertime in our teens. He was afraid of the larger water slides but was thrilled to ride them as long as I accompanied him. They had double-seating innertubes, and my friend and I shared one and would patiently wait our turn if one wasn’t readily available.

After getting off of one of the many slides one time, we saw two small children trying to pick up one of the double tubes to ride in. A woman in her mid-thirties with a child who looked barely older than two swiftly approached these two kids and snatched the tube right out of the little hands of these mortified six- or seven-year-olds.

Woman: “We’ve been waiting too long for one!”

She then dragged the tube off with her toddler in her other arm.

My friend and I both saw this unfold, and unfortunately, we weren’t able to intervene in time, but we gave our innertube to the younger children so that they could still enjoy the water slide.

We both agree that you have to be a pretty big scumbag to rip something out of a child’s hands if that child is within their rights to use said thing. Waiting a few extra minutes won’t kill you.

When I was eleven and my brother was seven, our parents took us to the “magical” theme parks in Florida for summer vacation. One day of the trip, we were at one of the water parks. My dad had gone off to do some of the slides, and my mom had taken us to the lazy river. We knew we were going to get out at a certain exit to catch up with my dad later.

As it was June and extremely hot, the lazy river was packed with people. My brother had been annoying me and knew I was getting upset with him, so he slyly said:

Brother: “Catch me, sissy!”

And he swam off. I couldn’t grab him quickly enough and soon lost sight of him amongst all the people in the water.

The next two hours were sheer panic and misery for my mom and me. As we were at a water park, my parents weren’t carrying their phones, so Mom had no way of calling Dad to see if my brother had found him. She had me sit on the side of the lazy river for over an hour in the hot sun watching for my brother while she ran and talked to employees, trying to get help. She found out they didn’t carry walkie-talkies — the park thought employees would spend too much time talking to each other instead of working — and management seemed really unconcerned.

Manager: “Your son is probably having the time of his life. He’s probably on the slides. It’s not like someone could just take him out of the park.”

Mom: “My son has no concept of stranger danger. This is a kid who will hug strangers at the grocery store. He absolutely would leave the park with someone he didn’t know.”

Management dismissed her concerns.

Eventually, we found my dad… and my brother. It turned out he had gotten out of the lazy river at the correct spot and told Dad that Mom and I were still floating, so Dad thought we had told my brother he could get out and go on slides with Dad while we stayed in the water.

That was the most afraid I had ever seen my mom, and when she found my brother and realized he had been safe the whole time, she turned furious and really let him have it (verbally).

A passing mother heard my mom screaming and yelled at her for scaring my brother, and another mother came and yelled at her for yelling at my mother when she was just trying to parent.

To this day, eighteen years later, my brother still refuses to admit he did anything wrong. My mom still says that’s the most afraid she has ever been. She was truly afraid she’d never see my brother again. We don’t ever talk about that water park or its uncaring employees.

I work at a water park. A lady comes up to me at the bottom of our tall body slide.

Guest: “Where do we get the tubes for this?”

Me: “Oh, no, ma’am, this is a body slide.”

Guest: “Ohhh. So they just give you the bodies up top?”

I work as a cashier at a water park. It is at least a quarter mile between the parking lot and the attractions.

As I’m selling a customer her tickets:

Customer: “I need to speak to your manager.” 

Me: “I can call them over. What shall I say is your concern?” 

Customer: “You seriously have to ask? It’s too far of a walk between the parking lot and the waterslides!”

Me: “We have shuttles that can pick you up if you’re unable to walk.”

Customer: *Offended* “That’s not going to solve the problem! I need to talk to someone about moving the waterslides closer to the parking lot.”