Making A Boob Of Themselves

| CO, USA | Friendly | May 18, 2017

(I’m walking my two sons to a water slide. We pass by a row of lawn chairs on our way to the line. In one chair is a woman breastfeeding her baby, and a woman standing in the walkway in front of her yelling.)

Woman: “Just take the towel and cover yourself up already!”

Breastfeeding Mom: “I’m sorry but it’s to hot to cover her up. I just—”

Woman: “Then go inside the bathrooms. They are cool! Or beg the lifeguards to use their break room. I don’t want to see this here.”

(I have finally gotten right next to the woman. I tell my boys to wait a minute for me and they stand next to me, surprisingly patient.)

Me: “Excuse me, lady, why don’t you leave this lady alone to feed her child and move along.”

Woman: “Excuse you. I don’t want to see—”

Me: “What? You don’t want to see what exactly? Looking at this lady here she is more covered up then I am. My bikini top is exposing more breast then she is; my stomach is hanging out with all its stretch mark glory; she is covered with a towel from the waist down. Why aren’t you offended by me?”

Woman: “Well, um, you’re just wearing the attire for this environment, She’s, well—”

Me: “She’s what? Feeding her hungry child? Leave her alone and get on with your day.” *By this point the baby is finished eating and looking sleepy; the mom is now “decent” by this woman’s standards and is burping the baby* “Now, look, she’s all done, and what exactly are you still doing here? MOVE!”

Woman: “Well, I, she was being so rude.”

Me: “Just move on before I lose my mind.”

(The woman leaves in a huff and walks up to a lifeguard that just left his post and starts complaining. He escorts her to the guard shack, probably to file a complaint or something.)

Breastfeeding Mom: “Thank you. I’m just so shy and didn’t know what to do. I just couldn’t cover her up in this heat and my husband is with my nephews swimming and, well, thanks.”

Me: “No worries. I’ve been there. If you’re not flaunting it to get attention I don’t know why people like that want to make it such a big deal. Enjoy the rest of your day.”

(My boys, who had been patiently waiting for my rant to be over, wished the mom a good day and gladly rushed to the line for the slide.)

You Can’t Control The Birds And The Bees

| USA | Right | October 12, 2016

(I’m a supervisor at the water park. As I walk by Guest Relations I overhear a woman demanding corporate’s phone number and a copy of her complaint form. I head out to cover turnstiles. Shortly after the woman walks by.)

Woman: *loudly* “I’m going to social media with this! This is terrible customer service!”

Me: “What’s she upset about?”

Coworker: “She’s mad about the seagulls and bees. Things we literally have no control over.”

Referring To A Different Kind Of Ride

| TX, USA | Related | July 23, 2016

(One of the slides at the park involves lying stomach-down or crouching on your knees on a mat. An older woman with her daughter are next in line.)

Woman: *to the lifeguard on duty* “Will I be okay on this ride? I have trouble getting on my knees.”

Daughter: “That’s not what Dad says.”

(The lifeguard could barely answer, he was laughing so hard!)

Doesn’t Want Her Hair Getting Wet?

| IL, USA | Right | April 8, 2016

(Several coworkers and I are sitting in the front office of the water park when a customer comes in. She approaches the desk.)

Customer: “Do ya’ll have any scissors?”

Coworker: “Sure” *hands them over*

(The women then proceeds to cut off half of her pigtail braids before tossing the scissors back across the desk and walking out to the park. The manager looks at us and says:)

Manager: “Did that just happen?”

Referring To A Different Kind Of Ride

| TX, USA | Right | March 1, 2016

(One of the slides at the park involves lying stomach-down or crouching on your knees on a mat. An older woman with her daughter are next in line.)

Woman: *to the lifeguard on duty* “Will I be okay on this ride? I have trouble getting on my knees.”

Daughter: “That’s not what Dad says.”

(The lifeguard could barely answer, he was laughing so hard!)

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