You Can’t Control The Birds And The Bees

| USA | Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals

(I’m a supervisor at the water park. As I walk by Guest Relations I overhear a woman demanding corporate’s phone number and a copy of her complaint form. I head out to cover turnstiles. Shortly after the woman walks by.)

Woman: *loudly* “I’m going to social media with this! This is terrible customer service!”

Me: “What’s she upset about?”

Coworker: “She’s mad about the seagulls and bees. Things we literally have no control over.”


Doesn’t Want Her Hair Getting Wet?

| IL, USA | Bizarre

(Several coworkers and I are sitting in the front office of the water park when a customer comes in. She approaches the desk.)

Customer: “Do ya’ll have any scissors?”

Coworker: “Sure” *hands them over*

(The women then proceeds to cut off half of her pigtail braids before tossing the scissors back across the desk and walking out to the park. The manager looks at us and says:)

Manager: “Did that just happen?”


Referring To A Different Kind Of Ride

| TX, USA | Family & Kids, Popular, Rude & Risque

(One of the slides at the park involves lying stomach-down or crouching on your knees on a mat. An older woman with her daughter are next in line.)

Woman: *to the lifeguard on duty* “Will I be okay on this ride? I have trouble getting on my knees.”

Daughter: “That’s not what Dad says.”

(The lifeguard could barely answer, he was laughing so hard!)

Summing Up Bad Parenting

| USA | Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, Math & Science

(I work at a small water park where it’s $5 for adults and $4 for kids. I’m working as the cashier at the ticket booth when a mom and her daughter walk up. The daughter can’t be more than seven or eight years old.)

Me: “For the two of you it’s going to be $9.”

Daughter: *with a HUGE smile on her face* “That’s $5 for mom and $4 for me!”

Me: “Yes. You’re right! Good math!”

Mom: *hands over the $9 in cash* “No, honey! It’s eight dollars! Four for me, and four for you. That’s eight, ugh!”

(The mom storms in, mumbling something under her breath, while the girl’s smile vanishes.)

Sea Of Electricity

| NV, USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month, Top

(I’m handing out inner tubes for a popular water slide. Several young men come up; one of them has a tattoo on his side that makes it look like his skin is peeling away to reveal mechanical inner workings. Shortly after they get in line, two little girls come up. They stare at the tattooed man for a few moments, and then one taps him on the leg.)

Girl #1: “Are you sure you can go in the water?”

Tattooed Man: “Uh… I’m sure I’ll be fine.”

Girl #1: “But what about that?” *points to his tattoo* “My mommy says electric stuff can’t get wet.”

Tattooed Man: *grinning* “Oh, don’t worry. I’m an underwater explorer robot. I’m built for that stuff.”

Girl #2: “So you won’t break? Even if you get water all inside you?”

Tattooed Man: “Nope!”

Girls #1 & #2: *gaping at him* “Wow…”

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