He Screen Shot And Missed

, , , , , , | Right | February 19, 2021

I work in customer service helping customers via phone and email. A customer emails in about an error message on our site, but I’m not able to recreate the error.

I ask him to send in a screenshot of what he entered and the error message he received, so that I can see if there’s something he’s doing that I’m not. I never receive a reply from him and just assume that he figured out the issue and managed to place his order.

Fast forward to about a week later when I receive an envelope on my desk. Upon opening it, I find a physical print out of the man’s screen, showing the error.

I’ve since specified that people should email me the screenshot, not just send it to me.

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That Moviegoing Didn’t Go Very Far

, , , | Right | February 19, 2021

I answer the phone.

Caller: “Hello, sir, may I have a few moments of your time to ask about your moviegoing experience?”

Me: *Suppressing laughter* “Certainly! Though I should note that the last movie I saw in the theater was either the third Lord of the Rings or Master and Commander.”

Both are about ten years old at this point.

Caller: “Thank you, sir, have a nice day.”

I chuckled for two days.

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I’d Probably Break The Phone

, , , , | Right | February 12, 2021

I work as a receptionist in a mall administrative office. Part of my job is fielding calls from people wanting information about the various shops. The one call that has stuck in my mind — like a popcorn kernel between teeth — is this one.

Me: “Good morning, [Mall]. How may I help you?”

The caller is a young teenage girl, by the sound of her voice.

Caller: “Hi. I’m looking for this… store?”

There’s a long pause.

Me: “Yes?”

Caller: “Well, it’s in the mall…”

There’s another pause.

Me: “Okay, what is the name of the store?”

Caller: “I don’t remember.”

Me: “Well, what do they sell?”

Caller: “Clothes…?”

There’s yet another pause.

Me: “What sort of clothes?”

Caller: “You know… clothes!”

And yet another pause.

Me: “Okayyyy, do you know what part of the mall the store is in? Is it close to the front entrance or more toward the back?”

Caller: “I dunno.”

Me: “Do you remember if it’s by any other stores?”

Caller: *Pauses* “Yeah.”

Me: “Which stores were they?”

Caller: “I dunno.”

Me: *Taking a deep breath* “Okay. Tell you what. I’ll start reading the names of our clothing stores and you can tell me which one it is. Okay?”

There are more than twenty clothing stores all told.

Caller: “I guess.”

Me: “[Store #1]?”

Caller: “Um… No…?”

Me: “How about [Store #2]?”

Caller: *Pauses* “I don’t think so.”

This goes on through another seven or eight store names, until:

Caller: “Um, wait. Which mall is this again?”

Me: “This is [Mall].”

Caller: “Ohhhhh. I was calling for [Mall #2].” *Click*

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Wow, This Sale Is In Tents!

, , , , , | Right | February 11, 2021

I am working as a store manager for a national mattress retailer. It is mid-summer and we are having a “Tent Sale,” in reference to sidewalk and parking lot sales that take place UNDER tents. This is exclusively a mattress store; ‘mattress’ is IN the company name.

A young woman from a nearby restaurant, probably in her mid- to late teens, comes in, I am guessing on her break.

Me: “Welcome in! What can I do for you?”

Guest: “Well, I have a friend going camping soon, and I just thought I would stop in to look for her.”

While not common, I have had people coming in to look for camping pads before, so this doesn’t strike me as terribly odd. Still, I don’t like to presume until a guest has said what they want.

Me: “All right, I’d be more than happy to help you out! My name is [My Name], and what are we looking for?”

Guest: *Looking around* “Well… I was wondering what kind of tents you have?”

Me: “E-excuse me? Tents?”

Guest: “Yes, your signs say you’re having a tent sale.”

Me: “Oh! I apologize for the confusion, but that’s just the name of the sale. We don’t sell any tents, just mattresses.”

I motion to the sales floor of virtually nothing but sixty-plus mattresses on display.

Guest: “That is really misleading. That’s false advertising.”

I can only describe her tone as deeply offended, as if I have personally disrespected her ancestors.

Me: “Again, I really am sorry, but it’s in reference to sidewalk sales, not the actual sale of tents. We only sell mattresses and mattress accessories.”

The guest starts walking out, somehow even more offended than before.

Guest: “You need to change your sign! It’s really misleading!”

Me: *Thinking* “Yes, I, a lowly store manager, will be sure to have corporate rebrand the entire sale for all of our 3,000 stores across the nation.”

It is worth noting that this “misleading sign” showed a circus-style tent, not a camping one. Nowhere else does it mention a tent. This has not been the only occurrence of this, however; a coworker at another store had a similar experience where a guest started trying to barter for the canopy that corporate provided. I am happy to no longer be in a customer-facing job.

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But Who Guards The Guards?

, , , , | Working | February 11, 2021

I am working a shift as a security dispatcher. I have this conversation with the same guy every time. This is the last time it happens, though, thankfully. It’s not the last time he doesn’t call for whatever reason, but it is the last time he uses this logic.

I call the dispatch in [City].

Me: “Hi. I have no call on duty or off duty from [site]. [Guard #1] was supposed to call on duty and [Guard #2] was supposed to call off duty.”

Dispatcher: “All right, I’ll see what’s up.”

I go back to my main job of keeping track of on- and off-duty calls and log alarms, that kind of thing. Finally, I get a call.

Guard #1: “Hello, I was told to call.”

Me: “Yes, I have not received an on-duty call from you, so I didn’t know if you were on site.”

Guard #1: “Did [Guard #2] call to say I wasn’t?”

Me: “He did not.”

Guard #1: “Then I was on site on time.”

Me: “Not necessarily. You could have called him to say you would be late and not called [City] dispatch at all and we would never know. You could have let [City] dispatch know and they didn’t inform me, leading to the same results. It’s more common than one would assume. I can’t count on him clocking off duty to be a sign that you are there, either, as sometimes guards clock off duty without being properly relieved. It’s really important that you clock on duty.”

[Guard #1] laughed like what I said was funny or didn’t matter and hung up.

I called [City] dispatch back and reported him because I’m not okay with being laughed at for doing my job, especially by someone who has worked for the company long enough to know how things work, like that just because I don’t hear from the guard being relieved that his relief is running late doesn’t mean he isn’t running late. The [City] dispatch thought that maybe his cultural baggage was causing him not to take me seriously because I’m a woman. But they talked to him, and now he uses the excuses “forgot to call” or “was busy with work” rather than his rather twisty logic.

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