Doesn’t Get How Talking Works

, , , , , | Right | August 23, 2018

Me: *answering a phone* “How can I direct your call?”

Customer: “Get me [Department].”

Me: “All of [Department] is tied up on the phones right now; can I have them call you back?”

Customer: “I need [Department].”

Me: “As I said, they’re all on other lines.”

Customer: “…”

Me: “Would you like to leave your name and number?”

Customer: “No one’s free?”

Me: “No, I’m afraid not.”

Customer: “How many people you got there?”

Me: “There are three people, and they are all on other lines.”

Customer: “Ain’t none of them can come to the phone?”

Me: “No, sir.”

Customer: “Oh.” *long pause* “Have them call me.”

Me: “Sure, what was your name—”

(The customer hung up.)

Weighing The Ways

, , , , , | Working | August 21, 2018

(I overhear this exchange between two coworkers as I’m in the back room, processing freight:)

Coworker #1: “I think it goes this way.”

Coworker #2: “I agree.”

Coworker #1: *joking* “Well, then, I think it goes the other way, just to be contrary.”

Coworker #2: “You’re probably right; whatever way you said it was that goes that way, I think it goes the other way.”

Coworker #1: “Right, well, as long as we know which way we’re talking about.”

Coworker #2: “We definitely don’t.”

(It’s moments like these that help break up the monotony of a long day of unpacking boxes. I never did find out exactly what they were talking about.)

No Cell Service Locks You In A “Cell”

, , , , | Right | August 18, 2018

(I work in customer service for a phone and Internet company. I get a call from a customer who is moving his service from one address to another.)

Customer: “I have an appointment today for this morning. Could you please have the tech call me on my cell about 15 minutes before he comes out? It will only take us about 15 minutes to drive home and meet him. But see, the thing is, I am in an area with no cell service. I had to drive all the way into town just to call you.”

Me: “Sure, we can certainly try to call you when we are on our way out; however, what if we call and are unable to reach you?”

Customer: “What do you mean?”

Me: “Well, you stated that you are in an area with no cell service. What would you like us to do if we call and are unable to reach you?”

Customer: “FINE! I will just sit here and wait for the tech to show up. You know, this is really poor customer service.”

(I didn’t say anything in response, as it would have been unproductive. I sent the information to the tech as requested by the customer. Not sure what happened after that.)


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Monsters From The ID

, , , , , | Right | August 16, 2018

(I’m a new cashier, still in training, but I’m doing everything exactly by the book. Whenever someone wants to pay with a check, I have to ask for a photo ID to make sure that they’re using their own checks. A middle-aged gentleman comes up in line, buys a couple of t-shirts, and wants to pay with a check.)

Me: “Okay, sir, can I please see an ID?”

Customer: “A what?!”

Me: “I need to see a photo ID, please.”

Customer: “You need an ID, do you?”

Me: “Yes, sir.”

(He glares at me, opens his wallet, and starts spilling out all sorts of IDs all over the counter.)

Customer: *obviously raging* “Here’s an ID from when I served in Afghanistan, and here are a few IDs from other states, and here’s an ID from when I was overseas, and here’s a photo ID from my job, and here’s an ID…”

(After a while I start blanking out what all IDs he offers, but he gets more and more angry as he’s throwing IDs down until he has emptied his wallet. I wait patiently and quietly for him to be finished, then I make a point of only picking up ONE.)

Me: “I only needed to see one, sir.”

(I finished ringing him up and waited for him to scoop up all of his IDs and stuff them back in his wallet. Then, he ended up leaving so angrily that he forgot his t-shirts.)

Attack Of The Mansplainer

, , , , , | Right | August 12, 2018

(For several years, my dad and I have been running a booth at a local annual comic book convention where we sell pieces of our comic book collections and some comic book-related artwork. My dad and I are both collectors; he’s been collecting for 60+ years and raised me on comics. This year, my dad is unable to help man the booth due to a work conflict, so I’m working the table on my own. During a lull in business, an older gentleman approaches the booth and begins looking through a box of $1 comics.)

Me: “Hi there! Is there anything in particular you’re looking for?”

Customer: *glancing at me briefly with a sigh* “Are these yours?”

Me: “Yup.”

(He suddenly snatches a comic book from the box and shoves it toward me.)

Customer: “This is priced incorrectly.”

Me: *thinking that he means it’s overpriced* “Oh, the comics in that box are actually only $1.”

Customer: “That’s not what I mean! It’s way under-priced. This comic is worth much more than $1.”

Me: “Well, I know it’s worth a little more, but we’ve got multiple copies of that issue, and we’ve had some trouble selling it, so we marked it down. Think of it like a clearance item. It’s a pretty good bargain.”

Customer: “You really need to charge more for it. Trust me; I know comics. It’s worth more.”

(I glance at the comic and recognize the title. I’m certain that the issue is really only worth about $5, but don’t want to embarrass him by correcting him.)

Me: “We’re really just trying to unload it. It’s hard to sell that issue for more than $1.”

Customer: “Where’s the owner of this booth? I think I should talk to him about how you’re pricing his comics.”

Me: “I’m the owner of this booth, sir.”

Customer: “These aren’t your comics.”

Me: “Actually, they are.”

Customer: “Who paid for the booth? Whose comics are these? That’s the guy I want to talk to. You obviously aren’t familiar with comic books if you think that this is worth only $1. You’re really screwing over the guy who owns it.”

Me: “I paid for the booth, and the comics in that box belong to me. I’m very familiar with comics, which is why I’m working here… at a comic book booth, at a comic book convention.”

Customer: “Then you’d know that this comic isn’t worth $1.”

Me: “That issue is worth only about $5. But if you really want to pay more for it, I can charge you more. What do you think it’s worth?”

Customer: “I don’t want to buy it; I just think you need to do more research before you try to come out here and pretend that you know anything about comic books. You’ll just end up embarrassing yourself. You know, not everyone is as polite as I am, sweetie.”

Me: *obviously insulted, but really just wanting him to leave at this point* “Noted. Is there anything else you want to buy?”

Customer: “Well, let me finish looking!”

(I shut my mouth and sat quietly as he finished rifling through the box. He finished, finding nothing else he wanted, and then walked away without a word. About thirty minutes later, I spotted him at a booth a few yards away, giving grief to another young vendor and lecturing her about how much he knew about comic books and how “annoying” it was to have to deal with so many “fake” female comic book vendors who under-priced their comics. I had never seen anyone so angry about being asked to pay LESS for a product!)

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