Unfiltered Story #123789

, , , | Unfiltered | October 23, 2018

(My friend was telling me this story on the bus. It’s right before a major day at our school program where we have to do a lot of talking and he has strep throat. So while he’s buying a waterbottle, he’s trying to find his debit card)

Friend: I can’t find my card, what the fffff…

(He notices a mother and her three year old child as he starts the first syllable, and he tries to censor himself.)

Child: F*************k!

(The mother looks down in shock)

Mother: [Son]! You’re going to get your mouth washed out for this!

Friend: I am sorry ma’am, I won’t swear around children again.

Mother: It’s fine.. This isn’t the first time this has happened.

They Both Get Credit For That One

, , , , | Right | October 22, 2018

(I am working at the customer service desk. We offer many services, but we mainly process returns. I am processing a return for a customer on his credit card when this exchange takes place.)

Me: *swipes his card, hands him the card and the receipt* “All right, there’s your receipt for your return!”

Customer: *places his card flat in his palm and sort of bounces his hand, as though weighing his card* “Hm… It doesn’t feel heavier.”

Me: “Oh, that’s because credit card returns take a couple days to show up on your card.”

Customer: *bursts out laughing* “Okay, that was a good one!”

This Museum Rocks!

, , , , , | Right | October 22, 2018

(I’m the idiot in this story. My husband and I are at a museum featuring an oceanic exhibit. In one hall there is a large touch tank. Being the wuss I am, I am very nervous to touch anything, but my husband convinces me to try. I pick a smooth-looking creature close to the edge of the tank, and carefully stroke it with one finger. The girl supervising the tank smiles at me.)

Worker: “Doesn’t that one feel like a rock?”

Me: *with excitement and wonder* “Yeah! It really does!”

Worker: “That’s because it is.”

Must Have Had A Dollar Education

, , , , , | Right | October 21, 2018

(I’m a cashier, ringing out a customer. She’s buying five cases of soda. She had other items before the sodas, so math would be needed to check how much the sodas were together.)

Customer: “Those sodas were on sale, right? Five for five dollars?”

Me: “Yep! The last one rang up for free.”

Customer: “No, I should be getting them for one dollar each.”

Me: “You are, see? These four are $1.25 each and the last is free. So it still adds up to five for five.”

Customer: “I’m not getting one free. I’m getting them for one dollar each.”

Me: “It’s still five for five. Even though the register shows it weird, it still adds up. Don’t worry.”

(She was still insisting it was one dollar each and that she was not getting one free as she ran her card, then left.)

I Don’t Work Here Is Tired Of This Nonsense

, , , , | Right | October 21, 2018

(I work at a restaurant and I’ve just gotten done with an 11-to-close shift. It should be noted that, with a shift like this, my filter tends to disappear due to stress and fatigue, especially with no customers around. After finishing the shift, I head to do some shopping at a retail store that is open until midnight. My restaurant’s uniform is a black shirt with the company’s logo, a black pair of slacks, and black slip-resistant shoes. The store’s uniform is basically blue shirts or vests with the company’s logo in the back and the store name tags. A man approaches me with his girlfriend while I am shopping.)

Customer: “Excuse me, do you know where I can find Peter Pan?”

(It should be noted, we are in the family movie section, where I would wager Peter Pan is.)

Customer’s Girlfriend: “Dude, he works at [Restaurant), not [store]. Leave him alone!”

Customer: “Let him speak. He probably has something to say about this.”

(He turns to me expectantly.)

Me: *chuckling lightly* “I just love how all of us food service and retail workers are supposed to know everything about every store ever.”

(The customer begins to blush and avert my gaze, but I’m not done.)

Me: “And I am off the clock, so I am at complete liberty to say that.”

(The customer blushes further, then turns and leaves with his girlfriend. As they are leaving, I hear this:)

Customer’s Girlfriend: “You’re an idiot.”

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