You WHAT?!

, , , , , | Working | October 9, 2020

I am a female cashier. Customers can collect bonus points when they buy things. Their accounts are not always easy to find, especially if they use nicknames.

Customer: “My account is under Richard [Last Name].”

Me: “Hm… Sorry, I don’t have a Richard [Last Name].”

Customer: “Oh, look again. I am in there.”

Me: “Hm… No luck. I just don’t see Richard in the system.”

The customer is getting frustrated at this point and I really am doing my best to find his account. Finally, I see an account with the customer’s last name, but the first name on the account is under the nickname Dick instead of Richard. Very excited to have found the account, I blurt out very loudly:

Me: “I HAVE A DICK!”

I turn quite red before I even finish that sentence, but Richard doesn’t bat an eye and just nods.

Customer: “Yeah, that’s me.”

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Unfiltered Story #210561

, , | Unfiltered | October 9, 2020

A gentleman comes up to my register and says, “Where do you keep these?”
He pulls out his cell phone and shows a photo of some concrete garden art in a set of tall metal shelving, I looked carefully at the photo, went back to helping the customer I was ringing up, and said “We don’t. That photo was taken at [competition].”
The guy replies, “This picture was from your store.”
I don’t even look up. “Have a look at the price label on shelf.”
The very distinct labels, by design and color, are trademarks of a well-known warehouse chain. (And nowhere in our store do we have that kind of shelving, anyhow.) He pinch-zooms on his phone and looks closer. It takes him 45 seconds before he asks, “So you don’t have this in stock?”

No Food, No Receipt, No Chance

, , , , | Right | October 7, 2020

A customer in the drive-thru orders two sandwiches with a lot of extra stuff added on and makes both into large, rather expensive meals. Then, he gets to my window to pay.

Customer: “Yeah, my wife and I ordered this food a few days ago and they messed up the order. My wife called and they said they’d replace it.”

I know I’ve seen the man before because he has very distinguished facial hair and he pulled pretty much the exact same story as he did last time, only last time he got away with it. I decide to play along and pretend I don’t know his scam.

Me: “All right, sir, we’re sorry about that. I’ll just need to see your receipt.”

Customer: “I don’t have it with me. My wife called it in and the manager said it would be replaced.”

Me: “All right, well, what was the name of the manager you spoke to?”

Customer: “I don’t know. Some lady.”

Me: “What’s your name? I’ll have them look it up in the book.”

The customer gives a different name than he used last time. 

Me: “Okay, just wait here. I’ll be right back.”

I go to my manager and tell him about the guy who I know is scamming us and tell him everything I remember from last time he scammed us. My manager, who used to work at a different store of the same chain across town, follows me to the back where the man is waiting.

Manager: “So, you don’t have a receipt, you don’t know who you spoke to, and you’re not in our books. I recognize you from my other store. You’re trying to get free food.”

Customer: *Realizing he’s caught* “No, that wasn’t me. That was my brother!”

Manager: *Laughing to himself* “No, I’m pretty sure that’s you. Don’t bother trying this at any other stores. I’m sending your description to other stores. Now get out of my drive-thru before I call the cops.”

The man drove away and has not been seen scamming at my store since.

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Maybe You And Your Friend Should Work Out A Signal

, , , , , | Romantic | October 7, 2020

A friend and I go out to a bar one night. We have some drinks and play some pool, and there are a few guys that we sort of try to chat with, but we mostly keep to ourselves.

Now, I’ll be the first to acknowledge that I can be completely oblivious when it comes to realizing that guys are flirting with me; it’s caused me to miss out on a few things. But as we’re leaving, I’m complaining to her a bit; I got a call while we were out from my boss asking me to come in the next day — my day off — because she can’t be in. (There were issues aplenty at that job, but that’s a story for another time.)

Me: “Ugh. I can’t believe [Boss] called me on my Friday night and was so shocked that I didn’t pick up immediately and didn’t actually want to come in all day on my day off.”

Friend: “I still can’t believe you actually said yes.”

Me: “I don’t know what I was thinking. But I swear, if one more person calls me and complains that their furniture wasn’t what they wanted, I’m going to quit.”

A guy over in the smoking area speaks up.

Guy: “Hey, can I get your number?”

Me: “Oh, sorry, we were just talking about my job.”

My friend and I both get in the car, and as I’m pulling out of the parking lot, I realize she’s staring at me funny.

Me: “What?”

Friend: “…”

Me: *Lightbulb* “He was actually asking for my number, wasn’t he?”

Friend: “Yeah.”

Me: “Is it too late to go back and get it?”

Friend: “Pretty sure you missed your chance.”

By this point, we’re at a stoplight, so I bang my head on the steering wheel.

Me: “I’m an idiot. See, this is why I can’t get dates. Or a boyfriend.”

Friend: “Well, I wasn’t going to say anything…”

We both managed to laugh although I was feeling embarrassed. Even if he’d just been making conversation, if I’d been paying attention, I still might have ended up with his number. Ten years later, I still miss when guys are trying to flirt with me 95% of the time.

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Scratch That Attempt At A Refund

, , , , , | Right | October 6, 2020

A customer brings back in a cat scratcher that is completely destroyed.

Customer: “I would like to return this, please.”

Me: “Ah, did it come that way? Do you have your receipt?”

Customer: “No, I don’t. My cat tore this all up; I’d like another one.”

Me: “Was it defective in any way?”

Customer: “Well, my cat tore it up.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I’m not able to return this.”

Customer: “But it didn’t work. Look at it!”

Me: “But it’s a cat scratcher. It seems as though the product worked as intended.”

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