Playing The Name Game

, , , , | Right | July 17, 2010

(A customer calls in with a question. This is during heavy snow, so traveling to a store is a big deal.)

Customer: “Hi. I’m looking for [Video Game], but not [Game with a very similar name]. I’ve called in everywhere and no one seems to have it.”

Me: “Okay, let me just look that up for you.”

(I proceed with looking up the game and find out that they stopped making the series and that there wasn’t, in fact, even a game by the title she wanted.)

Me: “Okay, it looks like we have [Game with similar name] but they never made [Game she wanted].”

Customer: “Oh, great! I’ll come right down to pick it up! I can’t believe you have it!”

(The customer hangs up before I can repeat that we don’t have it and that it doesn’t exist. Later in the day, my boss informs me that a lady up front wants to talk to me; I dread going to the front to a woman who has driven through to snow to look for a game doesn’t exist.)

Customer: “Hi, [My Name]! I just wanted to thank you in person for helping me find [Game she wanted]. My son was looking for it everywhere!”

(As she says this, she holds up the game with the similar title.)

Me: “You’re… welcome?”

Son: “Mom! You’ve been calling it the wrong name all day!”


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One Store To Sell Them All, And In The Darkness Bind Them

, , , | Right | July 5, 2010

(A customer walks up to counter and sets down a bag from a competitor’s store, pulls out the competitor’s receipt, and starts unloading books with the competitor’s sticker on them.)

Customer: “I’d like to return these.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. I can’t take these back here. We’re [Bookstore].”

Customer: “So?”

Me: “These books are from [Competitor]. I can’t do this return.”

Customer: “But don’t you have a store by the mall?”

Me: “We do have a location a few blocks away from the mall, but the store inside the mall is actually [Competitor].”

Customer: “So, you won’t take these back for me?”

Me: “Unfortunately, since they weren’t purchased from us. You’ll need to take them back to [Competitor] and they’ll be able to help you.”

Customer: *surprised* “I thought all bookstores were the same!”

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The Gift Of Unreason

, , , , | Right | June 21, 2010

Me: “Thank you for calling. How may I assist you?”

Caller: “I would like a gift card.”

Me: “You would like to purchase a gift card?”

Caller: “No.”

Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t understand. You said you wanted a gift card.”

Caller: “Well, yes. We’ve been shopping at your stores for so many years, we feel we should get a gift card from you.”


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From The Mouth Of Babes, Part 2

, , , | Right | June 11, 2010

Me: “Can I help you?”

Child: “I don’t get it.”

Me: “What?”

Child: “Are you old or just simple?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Child: “Cause my mom said everyone who works at [Supermarket] is either old or simple.”

(The mother came running behind him, picked him up, and ran off.)


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Sick Of Waiting

, , , , , , , | Right | June 4, 2010

(A woman is several places back in line with her son who is about eight years old.)

Customer’s Son: “Mom? I don’t feel good.”

Customer: “Hang on, honey. Mommy is going to get her coffee and then she will take you to the restroom.”

Customer’s Son: “Mom? I feel really sick.”

(I look up and see the boy is very pale and breathing heavy.)

Me: “Ma’am? If you would like to take your son to the restroom, we will save your place in line.”

Customer: “No, it’s okay. We will wait.”

Customer’s Son: “Mom. I really need the bathroom. I don’t feel good.”

Customer: “Honey, just wait. We’ll be done in a few minutes.”

Manager: “Ma’am, please take your son to the restroom. We’ll make your drink while you are in there. On the house. Please!”

Customer: “No! He will have to wait.”

(The customer’s son begins to gag and the customers near him move away from, all of them begging her to take him to the restroom immediately. A few even offer to take him themselves.)

Customer: “I said no! He is just doing this for attention. If you ignore him he will stop.”

Me: “Ma’am, for the last time. Please take your son to the–”

(The customer’s son bends over and begins vomiting on the floor.)

Manager: “Please! Get him out of here!”

Customer: “But I don’t want to lose my place in line.”

Manager: “Ma’am, either get him to the restroom or get him outside. Now!”

Customer: *in a huff* “Well, fine! He’s only doing this for attention!”

(The customer comes out five minutes later leading her fully-recovered son by the hand. As I finish mopping the boy’s breakfast off the floor, she collects her free coffee drink, smiles, and leaves, calling out…)

Customer: “Thank you very much. See you all tomorrow!”


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