That Should Really Get Your Goat

, , , , , , | Learning | August 19, 2018

I am a teaching assistant at my local primary school. While the school used to have a small village school atmosphere, the school was taken over by an academy several years ago. Since then, the atmosphere has completely changed, and the staff morale is constantly at an all-time low. Parents have complained, but they are usually met with indifference at best and hostility at worst.

For the last few years, we have been repeatedly told that the staff cost too much and that the academy is considering redundancies.

Every time a staff member leaves, we are told they won’t be replaced, and parents are increasingly used as volunteers to cover staff shortages.

One day, my headteacher excitedly announces to the children that the school has bought two new goats. Apparently, the school can afford goats, but staff are a luxury!

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A Stamp Of Disapproval

, , , , , | Right | January 4, 2018

Me: “Hi, how can I help?”

Customer: “Do you sell stamps?”

Me: “Yes, we do; a book of six first-class or a book of twelve second-class?”

Customer: “Can I have two first-class, please?”

Me: “Two books?”

Customer: “No, just two stamps.”

Me: “We only sell them in books of six.”

Customer: “You’re kidding me?!”

Me: “No, sorry.”

Customer: “You’re having me on!”

Me: “No, sorry.”

Customer: “But I don’t want six!”

Me: “Sorry.”

Customer: “Huh!”

(He left, still muttering “Six! What am supposed to do with six?!”)

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