Time Heals All Errors

, , , , | Healthy | February 10, 2019

(My father comes off his motorcycle when going round a bend and dislocates his shoulder. This the third time he has dislocated it. This, combined with the fact that he is 65 years old, means the doctors want to keep a close eye on how it is healing. My dad goes to the hospital for a check-up a month or two after the accident.)

Doctor: *looking at scans on the computer* “This doesn’t seem to have healed at all. I think you may need surgery to get this sorted.”

Father: “Are you sure? It feels a lot better.”

Doctor: “Based on what I see, yes. Stay here; I just need to speak someone about getting you scheduled in for the operation.”

(The doctor leaves the office. My father looks at the scans still on the screen and notices something important: the date of the scan is from just after the accident! No wonder it doesn’t appear to be healing. The doctor comes back into the office.)

Doctor: “So, we can get you in—“

Father: “Can I just stop you there? Could you check the date on that scan?”

Doctor: “What?” *checks date and twigs* “Ah. So sorry about that.” *brings up the most recent scan* “That’s much better; the healing seems to on track. We’ll make a follow-up appointment so we can check it again soon.”

Piercing Observation, Part 6

, , , , | Right | January 27, 2019

(Not all regulars are good customers. We have one who comes in twice a week and seems to pick someone each day to try to aggravate. Yesterday was the coworker involved in this story. I’m the receptionist, and today it is my turn! I am thirty.)

Me: “Bora da; good morning.”

Customer: “You’ve got something on your nose.”

Me: *wiping my nose* “Oh, it’s probably pen; I get it everywhere.”

Customer: “It’s purple and sticking out!”

(Realising she is talking about my nose piercing, I know exactly what is coming.)

Me: “Haha, that just my piercing…”

Customer: “Ugh. I don’t know why you have something like that in your face.”

Me: “I have a couple of piercings. This one is actually my favourite.”

Customer: *making faces* ”Ooh, I think they are disgusting. I don’t understand permanently ruining your face.”

Me: “Actually, piercings heal over if—“

Customer: “Young girls like you don’t need it. It’s ugly. I’ll never understand. Never understand.”

Me: “It’s all personal choice. I like them so have them. You don’t like them, so don’t—“

(At this point my co-worker had come to the front desk to listen to what’s being said. The customer interrupts and starts gesturing at her)

Customer: *to [Coworker]* “You’ll understand. It’s a generational thing. Piercings and tattoos are disgusting!”

Coworker: “My daughter just got her nose pierced, I think she looks beautiful.”

Customer: “I don’t understand why you would allow that. Ugh, it’s horrible.”

Coworker: “I have tattoos and piercings, too.”

Customer: “WHAT! You?!”

Coworker: “Oh, yeah! From the neck down! I even have one on my foot.”

Customer: *again making disgusted expressions* “What is it?”

Coworker: “That one is very meaningful actually. My daughter died when she was young and it’s in her memory.”

Customer: “Ugh! You don’t need that. You carry her memory in your heart.”

Me & Coworker: *together* “And on her foot!”

(At this point [Customer] decided it was a losing the battle and left. Oh, well. See you next week, lovely, lovely regular!)

Piercing Observation, Part 3
Piercing Observation, Part 4
Piercing Observation, Part 5

This Greek Cup Is Definitely Half Full

, , , | Right | January 22, 2019

(I run my own cleaning firm. My cleaner and I are in a client’s house performing his regular clean. The client is not present. My cleaner accidentally breaks a Greek souvenir espresso cup which holds a spoon. Our policy on breakage is that we will replace any items broken. We are also fully insured. I text my client explaining the situation, and I apologise and offer to replace the item. Meanwhile, my cleaner is panicking.)

Me: “Hi, [Client]. I’m afraid that [Cleaner] had a little accident with one your Greek souvenir cups. If you can look up a replacement for it, we will pay for it to be replaced. We apologise for the accident.”

Client: “It’s really not a problem.”

Me: “Are you sure?”

Client: “Yeah, I hate that thing!”

(My cleaner had never looked so relieved in her life! Bless her!)

Unfiltered Story #137030

, , | Unfiltered | January 19, 2019

Customer: Do you have any of those Nicotine sprays?
Me: Sure!
(I grab one off the shelf and scan it through the till, tell him and the price and wait. He starts going through an obviously empty wallet and card holder).
Customer: Sorry about this.
Me: It’s okay.
Customer: i was just thrown out of the mobility shop because I was wasting his time.
Me: Oh, right.
Customer: I don’t have a bank card. My brothers won’t give it to me until I sort myself out because I ended up in (town) infirmary again.
Me: Oh what happened?
Customer: Well, I was on the bus to (small town) and I didn’t fall in the pond in (small town) but I fell in the river in (large town, 20 miles south of small town) and ended up in the back of the police car for two hours and in (large town) infirmary.
Me: Oh, dear….
Customer: Well, I won’t waste your time anymore.
Me: That’s okay and maybe your brothers will let you have some money for the nicotine spray. We’re open until six.
(Customer nods and tries to grab the spray but I take it from him smiling).
Me: Don’t worry, I’ll put that back for you.
(I smile, watch him go, and then collapse on the floor in the fit of laughter).

Unfiltered Story #137011

, , | Unfiltered | January 18, 2019

(Customer walks in, says something I can’t here and my boss – who was by the door – gives me an odd look as he walks up to the counter).
Me: Hello sir, what can I get you?
Customer: I need something for schizophrenia.
Me: Oh, okay….
(I really don’t know what to say at that point and he starts looking at the hand sanitizers on the stand by the till).
Customer: Is this really only £2.00?
Me: I’ll check.
(I run it through the till, it is indeed £2.00. He pays for it, puts it in his back and leans forward to read my name badge).
Customer: Thank you (name) it was nice to meet you.
Me: Nice to meet you too Sir. Have a nice day.
(He leaves and my boss walks over to me, where I am collapsed on the floor laughing.)
Boss: When he walked in he said “Welcome to British Airways!”
Me: Oh, well he asked me for something for schizophrenia.
Boss: Oh God.
Me: That’s two in a week. Where are they all coming from?

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