Forgetting The Juicy Details, Part 2

, , , , , , , | Right | December 24, 2020

We’re holding a late-night Christmas shopping event with a free glass of champagne for customers upon entry and sparkling juice for non-drinkers and children. There’s a sign up stating one per customer, and so far everyone has accepted this.

I’m a supervisor, and one of the only staff members over the age of eighteen, so I am the only one handling the alcohol. A man comes in to browse and takes a glass of champagne. About five minutes later, he comes back to me. 

Customer: “I need another glass of this.”

Me: “Oh, sorry. We’re only allowed to give out one glass per customer. You could have a glass of sparkling juice if you’d like?”

Customer: “But I don’t want juice. There are glasses on the table and no queue, so I’m having another.”

Me: “We can’t give out more than one per customer; otherwise, we would have to charge the minimum unit price, and we’re not licensed to sell alcohol.”

The customer huffs and walks away to keep browsing.

Two minutes pass, and I notice he’s talking to an underage member of staff who joined two weeks ago. He walks back over.

Customer: *Triumphantly* “She says I can have another glass!”

Me: “Sir, I’m sorry but you can’t. I’ve already told you why. We only have a limited amount and it’s not fair on other customers.”

Customer: “But she said I could, so you have to! I’ve just bought £120 of pyjamas, too!”

Me: “I’m her supervisor, and she’s under eighteen so she can’t serve alcohol. So no, you can’t.”

He turns around and storms to the counter and returns the pyjamas. 

He storms back towards the front of the store to leave, and as he walks out, he turns over his shoulder. 

Customer: *Sarcastically* “Merry Christmas!”

The bottles of champagne were literally the cheapest available. He could have bought one from the shop right next to us for under £5 and drunk the whole bottle!

Forgetting The Juicy Details

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Unfiltered Story #219077

, , , | Unfiltered | December 22, 2020

My girlfriend and I recently went to a local car boot sale (or a flea market as our US friends might say) and were looking to shift some of our tat, er, I mean our quality merchandise.

The prices marked are usually just a guide for us and we’re prepared to haggle a little. For instance, one customer went away with £25 worth of items for £20, but we’re getting a surprising number of people asking us if we’ll take 50p for something. For those people, we aren’t prepared to haggle, so it would be full price or no sale.

At about half way through the day, two women, possibly sisters, approach our stall and holds up a plant pot which we’ve got priced at £5.

Woman 1: 50p?

Both women look at us expectantly.

Girlfriend: It’s £5.

Woman 2: Will you take 50p?

As we start to shake our head, the two women are joined by a man who we suspect is their brother. They ask again.

Woman 1: 50p?

Brother: Really? Can’t you see it’s £5? NOT 50p. You can’t keep asking for everything at 50p!

I can only imagine how many other stalls those sisters had been to trying the same thing. That brother had obviously had enough of his sisters attempting to get stuff for peanuts and made it clear. They put the plant pot down and shuffled off empty-handed. And I really do mean empty handed as it was clear that their tactic hadn’t resulted in any purchases from anywhere.

Unfiltered Story #217747

, , | Unfiltered | December 8, 2020

(I work at a greeting card and gift shop. This story takes place on Father’s Day, and as my store is located in a small town, most stores in the area are closed as it’s a Sunday. I’m about to go on till to serve a customer when an older lady rushes up to me, wide eyed and frothing at the mouth a little.)

Customer: Where’s the Magna Carta?! They’ve reprinted it! It’s 99p! Where do you have it here?! The Magna Carta! It’s been reprinted!

Me: (taken back, only remembering a tiny bit about the Magna Carta from school history lessons) Umm, we’re a card shop. That’s not something that we’d sell here, I’m afraid.

Customer: Well where would they have it?!

Me: It’s Sunday so I can’t guar-

Customer: NEVER MIND!

(And she rushed out of the store before I could even try to tell her which shop might have what she was looking for, and left me and the few customers at the till wondering what exactly happened.)

Unfiltered Story #216054

, , , | Unfiltered | November 22, 2020

(I am having a bit of a tough summer, so one of my uni friends spontaneously decides to send me a present to cheer me up. At uni, I have a rather unusual nickname, which bears no relation to any name a person could have. One morning, I hear the doorbell ring and open the door).
Postman: Hi. Is there a [nickname] in the house?
(I stare at him for a second. He shows me the package and I start laughing).
Me: Yes, that’s me. It’s my nickname. It must be from one of my friends.
Postman (also laughing): I have to admit, I probably could have gotten this through the letter box but I was so intrigued by the name, I just had to see whose package this was.

Unfiltered Story #215165

, , | Unfiltered | November 13, 2020

(Whenever I’m even slightly tired I start to do some really weird things as if my brain thinks I’m living in a weird alternate universe where it’s normal. Here are some of those stories.)
Me: *picks up lunchbox*
Friend: *can’t see his own lunchbox, even though it’s right in front of him*
Me: *thinks* Is he momentarily blind?
Me: *to [Friend]* Are you invisible?
(A different time:)
Me: *walks across room*
Me: *stands on round corner of a box*
Me: *instinctively jumps through the air* CACTUSES ARE COMING FOR OUR SOULS!
Me:*lands face – first on bed*
Friend: What’s wrong with you?!