I Sentence You To A Year Of Awkwardness

, , , , , | Legal | April 3, 2020

At the start of my final year of high school, the school makes us all undertake a week of work experience. As I want to study law at university, I go to a local criminal solicitors’ firm. On my last day, one of the solicitors suggests I might be interested in going to a sentencing with him. On the way to the court, he tells me the client’s name and that they’re being sentenced for mugging someone. He parks the car, and we get out and start to head up the steps outside the court.

Solicitor: “Ah, that’s the family on the steps. Come on, we’d better go say hello. It’s polite and, you know, we’ll have to lend a bit of emotional support. I’ll also check they’re okay with you shadowing.”

Me: “Got it.”

I obediently follow him to a huddled group. As we approach, they fan out and say hello. I glance at them and then frown because one woman seems weirdly familiar. The woman is staring at me, as well.

Solicitor: “Hi, all. I just thought I’d come over and–”

Woman: “Don’t you go to my school?”

Everyone pauses and looks at me.

Me: *Very meekly* “Hi, Mrs. [Woman].”

It turned out that the client was the nephew of a teacher at my school. I hadn’t had any classes with her, so the surname hadn’t really rung a bell. Her family was incredibly lovely about me being there, saying it was at least nice that one of the teacher’s students could get some good out of it, but the teacher didn’t come into the courtroom — I think because I was there. For the remainder of the year, whenever we passed each other in the corridor, we couldn’t quite look each other in the eye.

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Unfiltered Story #191445

, , | Unfiltered | April 2, 2020

I’m out shopping and I take off my trainers to try on a pair of shoes. While I’m doing this, a girl of about 11 or 12 rushes over and grabs my trainers.

Girl: (shouting towards her mother across the shop) Mam I want these!

Me: Excuse me, those are mine.

Girl: I saw them first.

Me: But they’re not for sale they’re my actual shoes, I’ve been wearing them all day.

I reach out to take them but she still refuses to give them back. The girls mother comes over.

Girl: Mam I saw these first.

Me: They’re Adidas trainers they don’t sell them here, she can get new ones at [Popular Sports Shop]. But those are mine, They were expensive.

Girl: But I saw them first!

The girls mother asks her daughter to return them to me but she refuses to give them back.

Mother: Look, can’t you just let her have them? She won’t give them back, just get a different pair they’re only shoes.

Me: I’m not made of money, they were expensive.

Mother: But she really wants them and I don’t want to go all the way over to [Popular Sports Shop], here I’ll pay for them. *she takes a £20 note from her purse*

By this point I’d had enough, I reach out and manage to take them back. I stuffed my feet back into them and walked off without saying anything. Apparently the mother ranted about me to the staff at the tills…one of whom is someone I went to school with, he asked me about it when I went to pay and he was in hysterics when I told him the story.

Unfiltered Story #190598

, , , | Unfiltered | March 25, 2020

(I am the customer in this story and am turning myself in. I’m from the United States, and at the time was living in London, so I felt as if I was comfortable with various English accents, but am somewhat unfamilar with Welsh accents. I stopped at a café for a bite to eat and am ordering at the counter when this exchange occurs…)

Me: I’ll have a [coffee drink] and oh, what’s your soup of the day?

Barista: [unintelligible]

Me: I’m sorry, I didn’t quite catch that?

Barista: [unintelligible]

Me: *thinking it’s maybe a local speciality* Okay, what’s in it?

Barista: [same unintelligible phrase as before]

Me: *giving up* I’ll have that…

(And what was the mystery soup? Tomato and basil. To the barista’s credit, he wasn’t muttering or anything, and other than the tomato and basil, I understood him just fine. To this day, that tomato and basil soup was the best I’ve ever had!)

Concierge Is Not Versed In Pillow Talk

, , , | Right | March 23, 2020

(My parents have checked into a hotel. They have accidentally been given a large family room with four beds. Feeling this is too much, Mum goes down to ask for a smaller room as it is just the two of them for two nights.)

What Mum Means To Say: “Can we have another room? There are too many beds in the one we have.”

What Mum Actually Says: “Can we have another room? There are too many pillows in the one we have.”

(The receptionist looked suspicious at first before Mum realised what she’d said! They did get a smaller room.)

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Unfiltered Story #189089

, , | Unfiltered | March 13, 2020

(I am in Wales staying with my grandparents in my gap year, since I arrive I have started volunteering pushing a trolley that sells newspapers, sweets, crisps, and toiletries. We sell them to the patients and any profit we make goes back into the hospital. Most of our customers are very old and up until this point have been lovely and understanding that the Welsh accent can sometimes throw me off and I’m having to get used to the prices of all the products, but this man was not so understanding)
Man: *quietly mumbled what he wants in a thick accent*
Me: “I’m sorry what was that?”
Man: *still mumbling unintelligibly just angrier this time*
Me: “I’m really sorry but I can’t understand”
Man: *More agressive mumbling and the biggest death glare I’ve ever seen*
(At this point I know this isn’t going to go anywhere so I get my coworker, who has lived in Wales her whole life, to try and help this man. As she’s helping him I hear this exchange)
Coworker: “I’m sorry sir, [My name] is over from Australia, and she’s just started here”
Man: *finally speaking at a reasonable volume* “Damn foreigners need to learn to speak english!”
(my coworker and I didn’t even know how to respond to that, luckily we managed not to laugh until we made it out of the room)