Card And Barred

, , , | Right | February 5, 2018

(I am a supervisor in the customer service office for an amusement park. A guest would like her $15 for parking refunded, and my associate calls me over to handle the transaction.)

Me: “Ma’am, why do you need your parking refunded?”

Guest: “I have a card! You don’t have to pay with a card! I get free admission with this!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. Please let me see your card for a moment.”

(The guest hands over a card that is very clearly not a company card.)

Me: “Ma’am, this is a United States National Parks senior pass, not a [amusement park] pass.”

(She paid that day.)

Allow Me To Illustrate The Point

, , , , , , | Healthy | February 1, 2018

I work as a medical illustrator, drawing injuries and surgeries for legal purposes — used as courtroom exhibits, mediation materials, etc. Most of the time, the cases that cross my desk are the same run-of-the-mill kinds over and over, but every once in a while, we get very interesting and challenging cases to illustrate.

My most memorable case involved a man with a tumor that had grown in almost the exact middle of his head, sort of at the very back of his throat, near the base of his skull. It had grown monstrously and required a surgery to remove it to improve quality of life. But the only way to get to it required some extreme measures, and I’ll never forget the surgeon’s notes in which he described the procedure. This is a bit gruesome, if you’re squeamish.

It required lifting away the bottom of the face from the skull and cutting the mandible — jaw bone — down the middle, then prying the jaw apart to either side. While the surgeon provided no sketches to help me visualize this, he made it clear enough when he mentioned it was commonly known as “the Predator cut.”

They also then removed half the jawbone. It was surprising to learn how they reconstruct the face afterwards; they simply carve up segments from your fibula — the small bone in your lower leg — and make a new L-shaped jaw out of it!

Giving You Side-Eye

, , , , , | Right | January 30, 2018

(I work at a sit-down restaurant, but it is well known that we do to-go orders over the phone and at the cashier’s desk. For to-go orders, we charge a $0.35 fee. This fee is meant to pay for the chips and salsa you receive automatically with your order and the containers we use to put the food in. The customer in question is ordering in place of a regular who always orders the same thing. The regular has never had this issue.)

Customer: “Did somebody call in an order? I’m picking it up for my son.”

Me: “Oh, I can take care of that over here.”

(I walk from the hostess desk and escort the customer to the front. The customer produces one of our paper to-go menus and opens it to a section that has been written on.)

Customer: “He comes in almost every day for this.” *points to menu item* “I swear, he could live on the stuff.”

(I immediately recognize the order and put it in the computer. Some of our menu items are supposed to only come with one of two sides, but we serve it with both. This order contains one such item.)

Customer: “He usually gets both sides.”

Me: “I was just about to ask you that. Some of the items on the menu say they’re only supposed to come with one or the other, but we serve it with both. If you don’t mind, I’d like to go make sure this is going to come with both sides. I don’t want to charge you an extra $2 for a side you’re already getting.”

(The customer smiles, thanks me, and lets me go. I’m back a few seconds later with the news that she’s getting both sides, and therefore, I don’t need to charge her extra. Shortly after I read her the price, one of my coworkers shows up at the desk and listens to our conversation.)

Customer: “That can’t possibly be right, because I know it’s not $2 in tax.”

Me: “Well, part of it is from the $0.35 to-go fee, which is to pay for the chips and the bins they put the food in. So, tax would be on [price of food plus fee].”

Customer: “No, [price for food without fee]!” *jabs finger at the menu*

Me: “Yes, ma’am, I understand that. But, like I said earlier, your total includes the $0.35.”

Customer: *throws hands in the air* “I shouldn’t have to pay you guys just to get the food to me! If you were delivering, I could understand it.”

(This conversation continues for about another two minutes, with the customer getting more and more agitated.)

Customer: “Now, look. I’m about the only person he trusts with this card. And he doesn’t remember the numbers, or any of that kind of thing.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. I remember he said he had a few strokes a while ago.”

(I don’t remember now exactly what she says, but the customer continues trying to haggle over the $0.35. Exasperated, I give in just to get her to let it go.)

Me: “Would you like me to take it off?”

Customer: *looks at me like I’m stupid, responding in a condescending tone* “Well, it would help him.”

(The customer paid and then left after her food was given to her, but not before complaining about her hip needing to be replaced and a number of other unrelated things. My coworker was just as flabbergasted as I was.)

Not In Line And Out Of Line

, , , , | Right | January 30, 2018

(I am organizing the line for the next tour of one of our historic homes. Only the house itself is by tour; the gardens are free for guest to explore on their own. It has been unexpectedly busy, so the previous tour has filled up, and we’ve had a constant waiting line for about an hour.)

Me: “All right, everyone! Thank you so much for waiting. We should be stepping inside in just a moment.”

Guest: *coming from the garden* “Can we go in with that tour?” *pointing to the previous, full tour just finishing its orientation*

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but that tour is full. If you’d like to join the line for the next tour, it should be starting in just a moment.”

Guest: *annoyed* “Well, since we were in the garden, don’t we count as being in line?”

Me: “Uh… No, ma’am. You do have to be in line, to be in line.”

Guest: “Well! You should have told us that twenty minutes ago!”

(I thought for sure she was going to throw a fit, but the guest in the front of the line started giggling and that seemed to take the wind out of her sails. The kicker is, our tours go in every ten minutes. While she was “waiting” in the gardens for twenty minutes, two other tours would have gone in without her.)

Not In Line And Out Of Line

Unfiltered Story #104560

, , | Unfiltered | January 30, 2018

(While I was working in the ticket booth…)

Customer: “What time does the 9:15 show start?”

Me: “8:20.”

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