Which Vitamin Makes You Into A Jerk?

, , , , , | Related | May 1, 2020

My grandma moved in with us about a year ago. Ever since, she has been driving us insane. She hates the way we do things and looks for any tiny excuse to complain and say we hate her. Dad has to serve as intermediary because she refuses to listen to anyone else talk. Then, she complains that Dad never takes her side because, “I’m your mother; you should listen to me!”

She takes a very specific brand of vitamins that aren’t sold in stores, at least not here. Mom orders them for her on Amazon. When the vitamins come, Grandma takes the package to her room before she opens it so no one ever sees the bottle. The pills come with the option to have Vitamin K or not. Grandma wants it with Vitamin K, so that’s what Mom orders.

However, this time, Amazon sent the wrong vitamins and Grandma got the ones without Vitamin K. She doesn’t tell us this until AFTER she takes them all. She blames Mom for giving her the wrong stuff. I’m in my bedroom when this happens, but I can hear every word.

Mom: “I ordered the ones with Vitamin K.”

Grandma: “No, you didn’t! You ordered the ones without Vitamin K. You just don’t want me to have my vitamins. You want me dead!”

Mom: “[Grandma], according to Amazon, I ordered the ones with Vitamin K. Give me a minute to pull it up and I’ll show you.”

Grandma: “Don’t bother! You ordered the wrong ones! You just want to see me suffer.”

She takes the stairlift upstairs but keeps yelling.

Grandma: “I need the ones with Vitamin K. Why can’t you just get me what I want?”

Mom: “That’s what I ordered.”

Dad: “Where’s the bottle?”

Grandma: “In the trash!”

Dad: “Why did you throw it away?”

Grandma: “Because it was empty! I need more. Make sure she orders the ones with Vitamin K. The pills are green! These ones were brown.”

She slams her bedroom door shut. Mom shows Dad what she ordered, and Dad heads upstairs.

Dad: “Mom, [Mom] ordered the right thing. Amazon sent the wrong one. If you had read the label, you would’ve seen that it doesn’t have Vitamin K in it and we could’ve sent them back.”

Grandma: “I don’t read labels! I go by the color!”

Dad: “You need to read the label.” 

Grandma: “No, I don’t! The pills should’ve been green, and these ones were brown.”

Dad: “So… why did you take them?”

Grandma: “Well, I needed vitamins.”

Dad: “But if you had told us, we could’ve fixed it. If you had read the label, we could’ve sent them back before you opened them.”

Grandma: “I don’t read the label! I don’t need to!”

Dad: “What if they had changed the packaging?”

Grandma: “They wouldn’t do that. I’ve been taking these pills for sixty years and they’ve never changed the packaging. The pills are green, and these were brown. Make sure [Mom] orders the right ones!”

Dad: “She did! Amazon made a mistake.”

Grandma: “Why would Amazon make a mistake?” 

Dad: “Because they’re not perfect! They can make mistakes just like anyone else!”

Grandma: “No, they don’t.”

Dad: *Pause* “You’re insane. Read the label next time, and if there’s a problem, tell us so we can do something about it!”

Grandma: “No. I don’t need to read the label.”

Dad leaves her.

Dad: “Crazy lady!”

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Didn’t Even Dress It Up In A New Jacket

, , , | Right | April 26, 2020

Customer: “Do you have this jacket in navy?”

Me: “No, I’m sorry, that one only came in black. I do have this jacket — it’s a similar cut — in navy, though?”

The customer is not interested and walks away. A coworker comes over and we start discussing merchandise moves we need to make over the next couple days. I haven’t moved an inch, and it hasn’t even been three minutes when the same customer comes over, stands next to me, and — ignoring me completely — asks my coworker if we have that same jacket in navy.  

Coworker: “No, we only got that one in black, sorry.”

My coworker offers the exact same alternative jacket.

Coworker: “This jacket comes in navy, and is a similar cut, though?”

Not the first — or last — time a customer has asked the same question of multiple employees, but the least subtle one I’ve had in a while.

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When Salad Is Unhealthy

, , , , , | Right | April 25, 2020

Every month, all the employees in my small office meet at a local restaurant to discuss business over lunch. We have an agreement with the restaurant that we preorder our meals several days in advance so that the food will be ready soon after we arrive. I am the person who collects the orders each month to send to the restaurant, and just about every month this happens.

Coworker: “This is not what I ordered!”

Server: “I am so sorry, ma’am. Are you not—”

The server reads my coworker’s name from the preorder sheet.

Coworker: “That’s me, but I didn’t order this! I wanted a chicken Caesar salad!”

I bring up the preorder sheet on the phone.

Me: “[Coworker], you ordered a quesadilla, remember? I have it right here.”

Coworker: “No, I didn’t. You wrote it down wrong! I’ll prove it!”

She starts scrolling through sent messages in her phone.

Server: “Would you like me to get you a salad, instead, ma’am? I can take this back.”

Coworker: “No, I guess it’s fine. It’s not what I ordered. But it’s fine. I guess I’ll just eat it…”

She continues scrolling and grumbling.

Coworker: “I can’t find the email, but I know this isn’t what I wanted.”

Server: “Are you sure you don’t want me to—”

Coworker: *Snaps* “No, no, I’ll eat it anyway. It’ll have to do.”

Me: *Mouthing to the server* “I’m so sorry.”

I pull up the original email on my phone.

Me: “[Coworker], here’s the exact email you sent to me. See? ‘I would like to order the quesadilla with a side of chips.’ But if you’ve changed your mind, the server can absolutely bring you something else.”

Coworker: “No, no, no. I didn’t write that! Maybe it was autocorrect. Or if I did, that’s not what I meant. You should know. But it’s here now and I’m not waiting anymore for food.”

Me: *To server* “Thank you so much for everything. We’re all set.”

The coworker will then continue to grumble for the rest of the meal about not getting what they wanted. Every. Single. Month!

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When You’re Over This And Out

, , , | Right | April 22, 2020

At my store, radios are worn by managers, customer service clerks, department managers, and personal shoppers. Because so many people wear radios, conversations are kept as short as possible and very rarely last over a minute. We also have earpieces so customers can’t hear our conversations. Too often this happens:

Customer: “Where is [item]?”

Me: “Where is what?”

Customer: “[Item].”

Cue management conversation on the radio.

Me: “I’m not sure. Let me ask.”

I pause since I can’t talk when others are talking on the radio, but I have my finger on the talk button ready to ask once the conversation ends. The customer gets impatient.

Customer: “Aren’t you going to ask?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I have to wait. They’re talking at the moment.”

The customer waits all of five seconds.

Customer: “Ugh, forget it! You’re clearly useless.”

He stormed off just as the conversation ended and I was able to ask.

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A Gift Card For Life!

, , , , | Right | April 20, 2020

I am helping a customer who is talking to me about how he just got back from a funeral for his grandmother and how he is glad to be back. I finish ringing him up and he uses a gift card worth $100.

Me: “All right! That’s a pretty nice gift card!” 

Guy: “Yeah, it’s my dead father’s.”

Me: *Pause* “I hope that wasn’t your inheritance.”

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