A Supersized Delayed Realization

, , , , , | Right | March 3, 2018

(I’m the dumb customer in this story. It’s 2015 and I order a combo meal at a fast food restaurant known for “supersizing” its meals; it’s such a part of this restaurant’s identity that a documentary was once made that incorporates this phrase in the title. I eat here occasionally, and though I’ve never before asked to have my combo supersized, I’m especially craving a lot of nice salty fries on this day, so I go for it.)

Me: “A number one combo, no pickles, please.”

Cashier: “What size?”

Me: “Supersized, please.”

Cashier: “Large?”

Me: “No, supersized.”

Cashier: “You mean large?”

Me: “Uh, supersized, please. The largest.”

Cashier: “Oh, a large, then.”

Me: *rather puzzled at the resistance to what I think is a pretty easy and common request* “Can’t you supersize it?”

Cashier: “Uh, no. I don’t think we don’t do that, anymore. Large is the largest size.”

Me: “Ohhhhkaaaay…”

(After lunch, I looked it up online and found that this fast food chain phased out its supersized option to much fanfare in 2004 — 11 YEARS AGO. I somehow went a decade without ever noticing this.)


No, But Does Trump Tower Count?

, , , , | Right | March 2, 2018

(I work at Dulles Airport, about 45 minutes from Washington, DC, but close enough to still be considered part of the “DC Area,” which tends to confuse people. My second job there is as a retail associate, and two people asked me the same question in two consecutive days.)

Passenger: “Hi! Is there a window where I can look out and see the White House?”

Your Dad Is Not Always Right

, , , | Related | March 2, 2018

(Due to a crazy work schedule, once or twice a week I end up ordering lunch online from a sub shop near my house. It’s super convenient for me, but one time they don’t check their online ordering system and my order isn’t ready when I come in. It’s not a big deal, but I do mention the incident to my parents that evening when we’re talking about our days.)

Dad: “Did they comp you?”

Me: “No.”

Mom: “Did you get anything for free?”

Me: “No.”

Dad: “Did you ask?”

Me: “No.”

Dad: “Why not?”

Me: “Because they apologized and made my sandwich for me. I didn’t want to raise a fuss over a misunderstanding. I was irked because I left my phone in the car and couldn’t pull up the confirmation email right away.”

Dad: “Next time they do that, ask for a free cookie or something.”

(There has been one time since then that the sub shop didn’t have my order ready when I went to pick it up. I still didn’t raise a fuss, but I always make sure to bring in my phone, just in case.)

I Started Managing When I Was Eight…

, , , , | Working | February 23, 2018

I recently graduated from college and am looking for a job. I hear of an opportunity for management training at a grocery store in my hometown. There are only three things listed for requirements: you have to be at least 18, you have to have a high school diploma, and some management experience may be necessary. There are no other requirements listed anywhere, not even on the website. I’m skeptical, but since I graduated with a degree in Business Administration: Finance, and I meet all the requirements, I think that I might have a shot. I even have a little bit of leadership experience from volunteer work I’ve done while in college.

I get to the interview and say that I am interested in the management training program. I am told that in order to get in, I need at least ten years of management experience. I ask about a lower-paying job as a shift supervisor. That job requires five years of management experience.

I am left wondering who approved of that job description and where they got their education.

Ape Versus Giant Sandworm

, , , , | Right | February 22, 2018

(I am out shopping with my mom and brother. My brother decides to get a $50 box set of the “Planet of the Apes” trilogy, while my mom gets a $5 box set out of a bin of cheap movies.)

Mom: *while checking out* “Will the Planet of the Apes box set off the alarm?”

Cashier: “No, it won’t.”

(Once we all pay, we head out. Sure enough, the alarm rings. A greeter comes over to inspect our bags.)

Mom: “And after the cashier assured us it wouldn’t do this!”

Greeter: *tests the $50 box set, which does nothing* “It wasn’t this.”

Mom: “Could it have been this?”

(The $5 box set does make the alarm go off.)

Me: “Seriously? It was the $5 movie?”

Mom: “Who would want to steal Tremors?”

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