(I work at a pet supply store that also has a self dog wash. We regularly get questions, like if it’s working, since we have had issues with the hot water heater. For the past month, though, the wash has been closed due to an expansion. We’ve had signs up, and very obvious construction on the dog wash, and still got customers coming in with a confused look on their face. This happened the other day on the phone, on the 9th of February)

Me: Thank you for calling (Store Name) in (city). My name is (name). How may I help you?

Customer: Hi! Yes, I was wondering if your dog wash was working.

Me: Unfortunately we have closed the wash about a month ago due to construction, but we’re really excited about the expansion, since we will be adding a third wash tub as well as a groomer. We are expecting it to open on either the 12th or the 13th.

Customer: So…I can’t bring my dog in to wash him?

Me: No, I’m sorry. The old wash has been completely taken out and turned into the grooming station. We do have another location in (city about 20 minutes drive away), but I know that’s a hike. Like I said, we are expecting all of the work to be done by the end of this week.

Customer: Yeah, no. I don’t wanna go to (city 20 minutes away). I can’t just bring him in and wash him real quick?

Me: Unfortunately not. Like I said, we don’t have any dog washes that are in service right now. Give it four or five more days and we should have our new and improved dog washes open.

Customer: Oh. Okay. (hangs up)

(I work at a drive-thru coffee shop that shares a parking lot with a burger joint. One day a woman comes through my drive-thru.)

Me: “Welcome to [Coffee Shop]. What can I get for you today?”

Customer: “Yeah, give me a [specialty burger] and a large fry.”

Me: “Ma’am, this is [Coffee Shop].”

Customer: “You’re not [Burger Chain that has no stores on this side of town]?”

Me: “No, ma’am, this is [Coffee Shop].”

Customer: “Are you sure?!“

Me: *looking at my apron and all the espresso equipment* “Yes.”

(I am in third grade, and our school is having a lockdown drill. It’s the first one I remember ever having at school. It’s around late 2000 or early 2001, so a little bit before 9/11, but it is around the time that school shootings are starting to be recognized as a problem, so maybe that is why they have only just decided to start doing these drills. Anyway, my teacher that year isn’t the greatest. She isn’t exactly the most patient person, and maybe should have rethought her decision to be a teacher. And of course, during lockdown drills, teachers are supposed to just have their students hide in a corner of the classroom, turn the lights off, and make sure the door is locked. However, our classroom happens to have a small bathroom in it, and my teacher has the bright idea to try to cram all of us into this tiny bathroom, AND turn the lights out in there. It is literally pitch black and I can’t see anything in front of me. I am a shy and quiet kid, so I am kind of just standing there and being silent, but of course, being young kids, some of the others are fidgeting around and being silly. But I mean, what do you expect when you try to cram that many kids together in a tiny, pitch-dark space?)

Kids: *giggling*

Teacher: *whispering at this point* “Quiet! You can’t make a sound right now! If you don’t settle down, you are all going to lose all of your tickets for today!”

(Then, suddenly, the toilet flushes. I’m sure someone just bumped or fell into it. Again, it is pitch black in there, so I really doubt a kid could have actually found the flusher on the toilet and pushed it intentionally.)

Teacher: *yelling* “WHO DID THAT?! That’s it! Every one of you has lost your tickets for the whole day!”

Me: *thinking* “So… Thank goodness this is just a drill, because if a bad guy really was in the school, we just would have been the first ones to die.”

(I work at an art store and we are having a sale on yellow-labeled ribbon, no other colored labels. A lady comes up with about ten rolls of ribbon which all have purple labels.)

Me: “Hello! How are you today?”

Lady: “Oh, I’m fine. Is there a sale on ribbon today?”

(At the moment, I am unaware that only the yellow-labeled ones are on sale)

Me: “Yes, we do!” *starts scanning items*

Lady: “Hey, wait. I thought the ribbon was on sale?”

(I take a quick look at a catalogue and find what’s on sale.)

Me: “Oh, looks like only the yellow-labeled ribbon is on sale.”

Lady: “Only the yellow-labeled?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

Lady: “How do I tell which ones are yellow-labeled?”

Me: “…”

(This lady was a teacher.)

(I work in a thrift store. Our policy is that we have a set price on all items within their category. For example: all children’s shirts are $2, all men’s shirt’s are $3.50, all women’s jeans are $4, etc. A man and his son come up my register with several kid’s shirts in a size large, and one shirt that is from a company that sells only adult clothing and is a size small.)

Me: “Your total today is $11.50.”

Customer: “Wait, you overcharged me for of those shirts! They’re supposed to be $2 each.”

Me: “Yes, sir, all of our children’s shirts are $2, but this one—” *removing shirt from the bag to show him* “—is an adult’s shirt, and costs $3.50.”

Customer: *starting to raise his voice* “That is not an adult shirt! Look at it! It is the exact same size as all the kid’s shirts there. My son tried it on, and it fit him, and he doesn’t wear adult sizes!”

Me: “Well, sir—” *checking labels* “—your other shirts are a size large and this is a size small, which is why they are pretty close in size. I can show you what a children’s size small looks like, for reference. Plus, the label here says [Store] and they only make adult’s clothing. I apologize for the confusion, but this does fall under our $3.50 pricing.”

Customer: “You are not going to scam me! There is no way that shirt is for an adult. I wear a size small. Do you think that shirt would fit me?!”

Me: “I’m not sure, but sizes do vary from company to company, and [Store]’s clothing does run on the smaller side.”

Customer: “It fits my kid, so it’s a kid’s size! You will not f****** lie to me and tell me that this is supposed to be for people my size!”

(The customer takes off the shirt he is wearing, gestures to his own torso, and then angrily throws his shirt at me. My manager sees this and rushes over.)

Manager: *to me* “What’s going on?”

Customer: “Your cashier is trying to scam me and sell me kid’s clothes for jacked-up prices!” *picks up the shirt in question* “Does this look like it would fit me?!”

Manager: “Sir, I cannot comment on what size clothing you wear, but that shirt is from a company that does not manufacture kid’s clothing. Also, we have a strict no shirt, no shoes, no service policy, and since you are no longer wearing a shirt, I will have to ask you to leave.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! You’re all f****** idiots!”

(He stormed out shirtless, mumbling to himself. His son was clearly embarrassed.)