Paint Strokes Of Genius

, , , , , | Right | May 7, 2010

(We have a small version of the Mona Lisa for sale.)

Customer: “How much is that?”

Me: “15 dollars.”

Customer: “Is it the original?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “Oh. I’m trying to get my hands on the original.”

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Got Brains?

, , | Right | April 22, 2010

(I am offering free ‘Got Milk?’ samples at a state fair.)

Me: “Hello, ma’am. Would you like to try some milk?”

Customer: “No way! I don’t drink that kind of milk!”

Me: “What do you mean, ‘That kind of milk’?”

(The customer points to my sign.)

Customer: “Goat milk!”


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When Logic Comes Crumbling Down

, , , | Right | April 21, 2010

(It’s one am in late August.)

Me: “Hello, guest services.”

Guest: “Yes, my air conditioner has stopped working. Can you send a maintenance man up here right now to fix it?”

Me: “Sir, our maintenance guy will be here at five am. I can send him there as soon as he arrives. If the room is unbearable, I will gladly place you in a room with a working air conditioner.”

Guest: “No, I don’t want to switch rooms. If you can’t come up here yourself to fix it now, I am going to jump in your pool!”

Me: “Sir, the pool is closed for the night, but it will open at seven am. Unfortunately, I am not sure how to fix your air conditioner. However, I will gladly put you in another room.”

Guest: “Listen here, either you fix the machine right now or you let me get in the pool! Or… let me have some cookies.”

Me: “Cookies, sir?”

Guest: “Yes, cookies!”

Me: “Sir, we have cookies down in the lobby 24/7. You are welcome to take all you want.”

Guest: “Okay, I’ll be right there!”


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Extremely Last Minute Shopping

, , , | Right | April 5, 2010

Me: “Hello, ma’am! Is there something I can help you find?”

Customer: “Yes, I’m looking for this jacket for a ski trip. Do you have this one?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. They are over there on that fixture. Let me know if I can check for a size in the back.”

(The customer goes off, looks at the jackets then comes back.)

Customer: “There wasn’t the size I needed on the rack. Could you check in the back?”

Me: *checks in back* “Sorry, ma’am. We don’t have that size.”

Customer: “What?! Why don’t you have it?”

Me: “Well, I can order it for you. It will only take about a week.”

Customer: “I can’t wait a week.”

Me: “We can also expedite shipping. When do you leave?”

Customer: “I’m on my way to the airport.”


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Ink-conceivable

, , , , | Right | April 4, 2010

Customer: “Does this printer use ink?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “And I have to buy the ink separate?”

Me: “Yes, once the ink runs out. It actually costs quite a bit compared to the two dollars this used printer is priced at.”

Customer: “Oh, well, I don’t want that. Where can I get a printer that doesn’t use ink?”


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