Becoming The Butt Of An Insult-To-Injury Situation

, , , , , | Healthy | June 27, 2020

My dad served in Vietnam between 1969 and 1972. During this time, he saw many of his fellow soldiers injured.

One drew the lucky straw in a firefight and wasn’t fatally injured. The bullet went in one side and out the other side — of his buttocks.

While he was laid up in the hospital, my dad and a few friends visited him.

They all very solemnly entered the guy’s hospital room and very seriously informed him that the doctors had told them that the patient’s bottom was going to have to be amputated due to the injury.

But they were going to get him a nice wooden replacement from the resident local crafters, all shiny and polished, with a belt to hold it on. And they might even be able to afford a pink plastic one for Sundays!

About that time, the patient cottoned on that this was a prank.

Dad and his friends managed to duck out before the bedpan hit them.

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Unfiltered Story #120122

, | Unfiltered | September 10, 2018

(I come back home for summer vacation and need the Wifi password, but my family does not remember. I decided to call the company that set up the internet connection to see if they can help.)

Me: “We forgot the password, so I’m just wondering if you could do something to help?”

Tech Support: “Can you plug the internet cable into your computer?”

Me: “I can’t. I am using a MacBook Air; it doesn’t have a port to insert the internet cable.”

Tech Support: “No, it has. Can you please check it?”

Me: “I’m telling you. Air’s don’t have a port for an internet cable.”

(This went on for a bit with the guy insisting that my laptop must have one till I just gave up and hung up. Guess he must think I am really stupid. So much for tech support!)

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Unfiltered Story #118250

, , , | Unfiltered | August 18, 2018

My grandparents live in an apartment building that residents have to have a scannable card to unlock the entrance to the building. Non-residents would press the button at the entrance, and talk to the receptionist through that device. The receptionist would ask some questions, and then contact the residents before letting the guests in. This is because it’s connected to a commercial center.

My grandparents are so respectable to the building staff that they give them additional cards so their guests can come more conveniently. But not all of the staff knows it. My mother has one though she doesn’t live there.

One time, she forgot to bring the card, so she had to call the receptionist. The receptionist picked up and asked questions; my mother answered normally. Then they hung up to contact my grandparents in the apartment. Note that there is no camera that I know of and the guests don’t talk directly to the residents; the receptionist talks to each of them.

After a short moment, they came back and asked if my mother is the maid of my grand-aunt’s. They have the same name, so I assume that my grandparents were not aware that my mother was coming and thought about the maid because my grandaunt came frequently.

The receptionist asked just like a part of the process. But my mother didn’t answer it and got furious: “I am their daughter! Just let me in!”

With this new information, the receptionist should have ask my grandparents again. But they didn’t get all needed information from my mother and just unlocked. So from my point of view, my mother demanded special treatment for her carelessness in doing something against the rules.

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Family Isn’t Quite Dripping With Consideration

, , , , , , | Related | August 16, 2018

(This story happens during a one-month holiday in Vietnam, where we are staying with my mum’s side of the family. I’m about twelve, and skinny as a twig, despite having a bottomless pit for a stomach. My mum has become convinced that something is medically wrong with me. After seeking some medical advice, she brings home an IV drip that is somehow supposed to bring me to a healthy weight. To this day, I have no idea where she got it from. I don’t know if she went to an actual doctor, or some kind of alternative, “holistic” medical practitioner, but she makes me lie down and get fed by the IV drip for several hours. I’m very uncomfortable throughout this whole ordeal, but finally it’s over and I think that’s the end of it. Cut to the next week:)

Mum: “Okay, time for you to lie down again. You need some more of the medicine.”

Me: “What? I’m not doing it again! Last time was awful!”

Mum: “If you don’t get the medicine, you’re not going to get better!”

Me: “What’s even in that thing? Do you even know?”

Mum: “It’s just nutrients; it’s good for you! Stop being a baby and lie down!”

Me: “How many more times do I have to do this?”

Mum: “Just this one time, and that’s it!”

Me: “You said that last time!”

(At this point, my entire family decides to get involved. My uncle and my nanna side with my mum and try to convince me to move from the bedframe I’m sitting on to the big bed where the IV drip is. My mum is being as vague and contradicting as ever, which does nothing to allay my suspicions. I don’t know how much my dad knows what is going on, but maybe — I’m hoping, anyway — he is okay with it all because he knows that the contents of the drip are harmless. In any event, he ultimately gets very flustered with the argument that’s becoming more and more heated, so he comes up and grabs my arm.)

Dad: “Come on, [My Name]. It’ll be fine and it won’t take long.”

Me: “I don’t want to!” *struggles and falls*

(I fall off the bedframe and somehow land VERY awkwardly, with my left arm hitting the floor first. As I get up, I immediately feel a pain in that arm.)

Me: *holding my arm* “Something’s wrong. It hurts.”

Uncle: “Now you’re just being a baby. Quit whining and get on the bed.”

Me: “My arm hurts!”

Dad: “Okay, enough. She really doesn’t want to do it; she doesn’t have to.”

(There is some protest from my family, but my dad will hear no more of it and they finally leave me alone. An hour or so later, the pain in my arm has not subsided; if anything, it’s gotten worse.)

Me: “Dad, I think something’s really wrong with my arm. It’s still hurting. I think it might be broken.”

(My primary school bully broke my other arm once before in grade four, so I know what a broken arm feels like.)

Dad: “Are you sure?”

Me: “It really hurts.”

Uncle: “She’s just wanting attention and trying to make us all feel bad for earlier. If it was really broken, she’d be crying.”

Me: *angrily* “I’m not lying. It actually really hurts!”

(My dad looks worried, and there is another short argument between my family, but ultimately we all pile in a car and drive to a nearby hospital. The entire trip, my uncle rolls his eyes about it being a waste of time, and says I’m just being manipulative, but my dad believes me, and even my mum is worried enough that she wants to make sure. We get to the x-ray room and I get my x-ray done.)

Me: *explaining to the x-ray technician* “…so, my dad tried to pull me up off the bed, and I ended up falling off and landing on my arm. I think it might be broken.”

Uncle: *scoffing* “She’s just trying to give us all a scare. It’s all for attention—”

Technician: *interrupting him* “Well, according to these x-rays, you have a break in your upper arm, right here. See?” *points to x-ray*

Me: *glaring daggers at uncle*

Uncle: *shuts up*

(My entire family is very quiet on the ride home. My uncle in particular makes a point of avoiding eye contact with me. My dad quietly apologises to me once we get home, and I tell him it wasn’t his fault.)

Mum: *muttering* “Well, maybe if you had just accepted the IV drip, your bones wouldn’t be so weak, and none of this would have happened, anyway.”

Me: *incredulous stare*

(For the remainder of the holiday my arm was in a cast, but I never had to endure the IV drip a second time, for which I was grateful. Said IV drip was never mentioned again; it was removed as quickly as it appeared, and what “nutrients” it contained, and from whence it had come, remain a mystery to this day.)

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Hiring With No Great Agency

, , , , | Working | May 22, 2018

I applied for a job online. The description said it was a language school, and everything else seemed legit: what I would be doing, working time, who I would report to, etc.

As they called me in for an interview at a specific time, I asked them to change it because I was currently working and needed to ask for a day off first. The caller was so surprised she actually was speechless for a moment and rambled incoherently, “Um… Oh, well…” Note: this was a senior position. She quickly got over it and we settled a date.

She also told me they were actually an agency, currently working on a project for that language school and another project for a financial company. If I joined, I would be working on both projects and have to work at two places; for example, Monday I’d go to the school at [Street #1], and then Tuesday I’d go to the financial company at [Street #2]. Both destinations had almost the same commute time from my house, so that didn’t sound like that big of a deal.

When I arrived at the office of the “agency,” it turned out that it was the office of the financial company. As I talked to the “director’s assistant,” the one I previously spoke with on the phone, she told me they own both the financial company and the school, not that those were their client.

There was nothing special about the interview, except they seemed to be looking for a person who could be a designer, a cameraman, a makeup artist, a video editor, and a sound editor at the same time, of course with the salary of only one position.

Needless to say, I never worked at that company, but I still wonder what exactly that company was. A school? An agency? Something else?

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