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Secondhand Cold Cuts

, , , , , , | Friendly | October 30, 2020

I have some groceries delivered, and in one of the bags, there is a wrapped cold cut platter that I did not order. I immediately call the driver and the company, but they do not want to take it back, even though it is expensive, has its original sealing, and has been kept cold. I am a vegetarian, so I call around to find someone who can use a week’s supply of cold cuts.

Friend: “Do you think we are poor?!”

Me: “Of course not. I just thought you might enjoy some free food. The shelters I called all told me they could not accept food like that. As you have a husband and a young child, you were my first call.”

Friend: “Why do you always have to be so condescending? But okay, I’ll take it off your hands if you bring it over within the hour. Happy now?”

Me: “Sure, I’ll be there in forty-five minutes.”

Two and a half weeks later, I’m attending their child’s birthday party. When the topic of the relatively new online grocery shopping in my city comes up, I mention my experience to another guest, leaving out the timing and the part that I wasn’t the one to keep the platter.

Guest: *Jokingly* “Hey, [Friend], so was the super expensive cold cut platter you have for us tonight the bounty that [My Name] got? It tasted off.”

My friend directs assorted curse words at me.

Friend: “Anything that [My Name] says is a lie! We can afford the best of the best for our guests! I bought these cold cuts just for tonight, and only a week ago at most.”

Friend’s Husband: “Sorry, everyone. I begged her to let me eat the food, but she insisted it would last until tonight.”

Next time, I’m calling the animal shelters, followed by the rest of the phone book.


This story is part of our Best Of October 2020 roundup!

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Calm Down, Lady (Bug)

, , , | Working | October 27, 2020

I order a hot chocolate at a popular café. The only other customer in the shop is looking at the displayed sandwiches — there are only a few choices left — when she speaks to the server in a friendly and informative way.

Customer: “Excuse me? I think there is a bug in that sandwich there.”

And would you look at that? There is a single ladybug on top of the last sandwich, probably as confused as us customers as to how it got there. 

The server seems less surprised, taking out the sandwich, looking at it, and then putting it back. 

Server: “Oh!” *Laughs* “That’s there for good luck!”

I’m getting my drink a minute later and still, the ladybug is eating away at its meal. I say, just a little bit louder:

Me: “TOO BAD you have to take care of it. Wouldn’t want to have more luck because of that ladybug, hm?”

He tried to hide it, but he gave me this, “Ugh, customers,” look and finally removed it from the case.

I don’t know the standard way to deal with this, but I wouldn’t want to see him remove bugs and then put it back into the case. 

If the next customer doesn’t know, is there a problem? I was taught not to waste food but… First world problems? What do you guys think?

At Least It’s Easier To Clean Than A Mask

, , , , , , , | Working | August 13, 2020

After a few months of wearing masks, my workplace switched to “face shields” — plastic shields covering the face, strapped onto a band or nose clip — to reduce stress on our part while still fulfilling company (and other) rules.

Since temperatures started to rise again, a coworker of mine brought fresh ice cream on cones from a shop directly next to ours for us to enjoy. 

Remember the face shields? I surely forgot, only reminded after I licked the inside of the screen and squished the ice cream on the other side of it.

The Luke-Warm Meal Was The Tip Of The Iceberg

, , , , , | Working | August 3, 2020

I am out eating with my boyfriend and his family to celebrate his grandmother’s birthday.

In Austria, tipping is not mandatory but commonly done if service was excellent. Our server did an okay job — nothing to complain about, but nothing special, either. The only thing we weren’t too happy about was that some of our food was only luke-warm, but since it didn’t ruin the whole taste, we decided it wasn’t worth complaining.

After we all finish eating, my father-in-law walks up to the front to pay the bill, as this is how it is done at this restaurant. None of us hear exactly what is said, but when he comes back he says that the server was kind of mad he only got one Euro as a tip. I don’t ask my father-in-law why he didn’t give more, but since the tip is only a bonus and not mandatory, I don’t blame him for anything.

Suddenly, our server walks up to our table with a very pissed-off look and puts down the printed out bill plus a one-Euro coin. “You can keep that,” he says, “as a sign of love.”

We all think this is really disrespectful, and my father-in-law gets visibly mad. The server has already walked away, so he follows him to the front, still mad, but not aggressive in any way.

While we all put on our jackets to prepare to leave, we hear my father-in-law ask, irritated but in a normal volume, what that whole scene was supposed to mean. The server gets even more pissed and says that since our bill covered almost 100 Euro, one Euro wasn’t enough of a tip.

Now my father-in-law has had enough and says, “Well, since a tip is given for excellent service, which usually includes properly heated food, I wouldn’t be so surprised.” And with that, he walks out of the restaurant, now really angry, but somehow he managed to keep his temper under control as he doesn’t like making a scene.

I get that maybe a small tip can be a bit disappointing, but being disrespectful to your customers like that isn’t gonna help you get a bigger tip in the near future.

Shall We Dance?

, , , , | Friendly | July 29, 2020

A few years ago, when I was twenty-five, I gathered enough courage to visit a famous local late-night club. It was a “first of its kind” for me, as I’d rather meet up with people to play board games or spend time on gaming consoles.

As expected with people looking for new friends and/or hookups, I was really nervous and silently sat in my corner, sipping on my cola. Feeling another wave of courage and energy, I told myself to at least see the whole club with every room and all of its dance floors. 

I thought to myself, “Hm… That dance floor there looks full of smoke and people. Let’s be brave and walk through the crowd!”

So, with my trusted bottle of Coke, I took a deep breath and walked until… I reached a person with a drink in his hand. No matter how I stepped to the side, we still stood in each others’ way.

With all the smoke, flashing lights, and overly loud dance music, I looked into his eyes…

…only to realise that I was standing in front of a wall-sized mirror.

I was embarrassed beyond belief and left only two hours after entering the club.


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