The Customer Is Not Always Righteous

| TX, USA | Right | September 11, 2012

(I’m manager on duty tidying up. One of my coworkers walks up to me.)

Coworker #1: “I have a customer who doesn’t want to pay her late fees because she’s ‘righteous’.”

(Baffled, I follow my coworker up to the register and see the customer. Immediately, she speaks to me.)

Customer: “I shouldn’t pay because I’m righteous.”

Me: “I’m… sorry? What happened?”

Customer: “I’m righteous. It’s not right for you to charge me.”

Me: “I’m showing your movie was returned two days after it was due. It was five days, but you had it out for a full week.”

Customer: “You’re not being righteous. I’m righteous. I’m busy out spreading the word of God. I didn’t have time to bring it back. I was being righteous. This isn’t right of you!”

Me: “That’s very good of you, but unfortunately the fees are valid. I’m afraid you will need to pay it in total if you want to rent today. I can’t take it off.”

Customer: “No, I’m a righteous person. You need to do the right thing. This isn’t right of you!”

Me: “Actually, since you knew the due date and that we charge fees, you know that the charge is valid. It wouldn’t be righteous of you to not pay a fee you knowingly incurred.”

Customer: “No, no. I am righteous! This is YOU not doing the right thing.”

(Coworker #2 has been awkwardly standing at his own till with a slight smile frozen in place this whole time. Eventually, the customer notices him.)

Customer: *to Coworker #2* “Don’t you laugh at me. I’m righteous, young man!”

Coworker #1: “He wasn’t laughing at you, ma’am. We’re a very happy crew.”

(The customer glares at Coworker #2 for a while before deciding to pay up and rent, muttering the whole time. The only audible word is “righteous.” Before leaving, she has one more thing to say.)

Customer: “Tell them it’s not righteous. I know it’s not your choice, but it’s not right to do this to me when I’m righteous!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, I will. Have a good night.”

(Not surprisingly, the customer didn’t return her movies two weeks later, even after repeated attempts to get a hold of her. She ‘righteously’ kept merchandise that didn’t belong to her!)

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Some People Just Need To Stay Silent

| Phoenix, AZ, USA | Right | August 17, 2012

(I am participating in the Day Of Silence and my boss, being understanding because her brother is gay and was assaulted for it a year ago, has let me wear my DOS pin while on my shift. He’s put me on restock and check-in duty so I don’t have to handle customers. A few customers have noticed my pin and were understanding and even supportive, but not this next customer…)

Customer: *walks over to me, passing up three other employees*” Excuse me, I have a question.”

(I shrug in apology and show her my pin.)

Coworker: “Ma’am, she’s not on register duty today for personal reasons, but I can help you.”

Customer: “No! I asked her to help me, so she has to do what I say!” *to me* “Why the h*** aren’t you doing your job? Sitting back here all day, twiddling your thumbs while your coworkers do all the work… you’re a lazy b****! You should be fired!”

Me: *completely shocked*

Boss: “Excuse ME, ma’am, but she is doing her job. You’re going to stop harassing my employees now or I will have to ask you to leave.”

Customer: “But she’s not even answering questions! She’s just sitting there not helping anyone!”

Boss: “I have her on non-interactive duty today because she’s taking part in the Day of Silence in support of the LGBT community.”

Customer: *aghast* “You let your employees support f*****s?! What the h*** is wrong with you?! People like that are evil sinners that should be shot in the street! They don’t even have rights anyway!”

Boss: “And that’s what the Day of Silence commemorates: gays that have been bullied and killed by hateful and ignorant people like you. You can leave my store now and don’t come back.”

Customer: “Oh my God! You’re all soulless queers! I’m getting out of here before I catch your gay curse and burn in H***!” *practically runs out of the store*

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I Kissed A Girl And I (Don’t Care If You) Liked It

| Phoenix, AZ, USA | Working | August 16, 2012

(I’ve been working at this store for three years. All the staff knows I’m gay and has met my girlfriend several times when she’s come to pick me up after work. The new coworker has been around for a week but is completely clueless in many many ways. He walks up to me while I’m restocking candy.)

New Coworker: *in his best suave jock voice* “So, I saw on the schedule that you and I both get off work at the same time today. How about we grab a movie and hang out at my place tonight?”

Me: *thinking he’s joking* “Oh, yeah, I’m sure my girlfriend would just love that.”

New Coworker: “Ha! Good one! But no really, we should totally go to my place and make out. It’ll be hot.”

Me: “Ha! Good one!”

(I still think he’s joking, but hold up my wrist wearing my rainbow-colored “I don’t even think straight” wristband just in case.)

Me: “But no, really, my girlfriend would turn you inside out. She teaches at the [martial arts gym] down the street.”

New Coworker: “Holy s***! You’re gay?! Since when?”

(This whole time, my manager has been at the register two feet away. He’s trying not to laugh.)

Manager: “She’s been gay since forever, dude. Didn’t you see when her girlfriend came to pick her up yesterday and kissed her hello?”

New Coworker: “Yeah, but I thought they were just making out to look hot for all the guys! Girls do that all the time!”

Me: “Please tell me you’re not serious.”

New Coworker: “Duh! Everyone knows that. It’s only gay if it’s two guys. Girls are supposed to kiss when there are guys around, because it’s hot and girls HAVE to act hot for guys!”

Me: *utterly shocked*

Manager: “Wow… that’s just a little misogynistic. I think you need to get back to work and not bring the topic up ever again, or you’re fired.”

(Not surprisingly, my new coworker gets fired AND arrested a few days later for propositioning on one of our regulars. Our regular is not only very pretty, but is also only 15 and her father is a cop!)

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You Can Win The Battle But Lease The War

| Toronto, Canada | Right | July 30, 2012

(This takes place just when DVDs are starting to replace VHS. A customer comes to the counter with a popular movie on VHS.)

Me: “You know, sir, the rental costs $4.99 for a week, but we are selling previously rented copies of this movie for only $1.99.”

Customer: “That’s okay. I just want to rent it.”

Me: “But sir, it’s $3 cheaper if you buy it, and you won’t have to bring it back.”

Customer: “But I don’t want to keep it!”

Me: “Well, you could buy it and then throw it out after.”

Customer: *impatiently* “Look, I don’t want to buy anything. I just want to rent this movie!”

Me: *gives up* “Certainly, sir. That will be $5.14 with taxes. The movie is due back next Tuesday by midnight.”

Customer: “Great! Thanks!”

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June Themed Giveaway Roundup: Bad Bosses!

, , , , | Not Always Working | Working | June 24, 2012

Hey readers! Just a reminder that you can win a Not Always Working t-shirt if you enter our June Themed Story Giveaway: Bad Bosses!

If you recall, entering is as easy as 1-2-3:

  1. Submit a story based on the theme-of-the-month: Bad Bosses!
  2. Enter your email address in the form to qualify.
  3. All posted stories will be entered in a drawing to win a free t-shirt!

Want some examples? Check out some of the fantastic stories readers have already submitted:

PS – winners will be announced the first Wednesday of every month. Next free t-shirt: Wednesday, July 4!

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