A Brokeback Fountain Of Hate

| Springfield, MO, USA | Right | November 8, 2012

(We have a small section of movies for the LGBT community. These are clearly labelled, and none of them are too offensive. I am a straight woman in support of the LGBT community. A customer brings up one of the LGBT movies; it shows two women in wedding dresses kissing on the cover.)

Customer: “I demand you keep this trash behind the counter!”

Me: “Ma’am, there is a whole section dedicated to this ‘trash’ and honestly, I can’t keep just one case behind the counter. Our customers are going to need a way to see that we have it available.”

Customer: *waves DVD case in my face* “Who watches this trash anyway!? It’s sinful smut and I don’t want children seeing it!”

Me: “That is why it is up high on the shelves, in a little corner, behind a curtain that is clearly labelled for LGBT movies. Makes me wonder how you saw it ma’am, as you would have to walk to that corner and move the curtain. Honestly, I don’t even think we need the curtain. I think there should be more tolerance for gays and those of the LGBT community.”

Customer:You did this! You brought all of those movies from home, and put them in that section because you support f***! You should not be working where Christians shop!”

Me: “I’m straight, ma’am, but I do support the LGBT community. I can promise you I did not bring those movies from home. We are legally allowed to rent out those movies here. Now if you would please give me the DVD so that I can put it back where it belongs, I would be very happy.”

(She flings the DVD case at me. I duck in time for it not to hit me, but it crashes into the sign we have up to show what our new releases are.)

Customer: “GO TO H***!”

(She stomps out of the store. A few moments later, my manager calls. I tell her what just happened.)

Manager: “Oh dear, do you need some coffee?”

Me: “Only a lot.”

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No IQ For IV

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Right | October 25, 2012

(I work at a video store. A customer is on the far side of the store and yells out to me. He does not hold up the DVD.)

Customer: “Hey man, which Saw is this?”

Me: “Well, what does it say on the cover?”

Customer: “It doesn’t say anything!”

(I walk over to the customer and immediately recognise the problem.)

Me: “That would be Saw 4, sir. ‘IV’ means four.”

The Customers We Dill With

| Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Right | September 24, 2012

(A customer comes in the door and heads straight over to me.)

Customer: “Excuse me, do you all sell pickles?”

Me: “Uh, I’m sorry… do we sell what?”

Customer: “Pickles.”

Me: “Uh… no, we do not.”

Customer: “Darn. I coulda sworn you guys used to sell them here. Ah, well. Where are your blank cassette tapes?”

Me: “Uh, we don’t sell those, either.”

Customer: “Really? Well, what about batteries?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “Greeting cards?”

Me: “Sir, this is a video rental store.”

Customer: “…So?”

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Dub And Dubber

| Manitoba, Canada | Right | September 20, 2012

(An older gentleman comes in to return a movie he’s rented the night before. It’s clearly stated on the movie case that it’s a foreign action film that is subtitled in English; there is also the option to have it dubbed over in English or French.)

Customer: “I want a refund on this movie!”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that! Did it not work?”

Customer: “No, it worked, but it wasn’t in English! I want my d*** money back!”

Me: “The subtitles or dubbing wouldn’t work?”

Customer: “I didn’t even watch it. I want my money back!”

Me: “Oh! I understand. Did you try going into the set up menu to change the language setting?”

(The customer looks at me, confused, so I show him the language options on the back of the case.)

Customer: “I DON’T KNOW! I just want a refund. It was stupid!”

Me: “So… the movie worked… and you didn’t even try to change the settings… and there’s a sign behind me that says if there’s a problem with a movie you have to let us know the same day or no exchanges/refunds… and you want me to give you your money back?”

(With that, the customer goes from being extremely agitated to looking sheepish.)

Customer: “…no.” *leaves store*

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About To Have A Lot Of Time On Their Hands

| Phoenix, AZ, USA | Working | September 13, 2012

(Note: our computers are really old and crash all the time. We aren’t allowed to close the store unless there’s an emergency, so we have paper forms to do transactions by hand when this happens. We’ve also recently hired a new and relatively clueless manager.)

Me: “Oh, crap. Hey [new manager], the computers are down again and rebooting them isn’t working. Can you call comp support so we can get them fixed?”

New Manager: “Oh, sure, just let me lock up the store first.”

Me: “Um, we’re not allowed to lock up the store just because the computers are down.”

New Manager: “If we can’t do business, we have to lock up the store.”

Me: “We do transactions by hand when the computers are down and put them into the computers later.”

New Manager: “But that’s impossible! No one can do business without computers! Business didn’t even EXIST before computers!”

Me: “It’s entirely possible. It just takes a calculator and some patience.”

New Manager: “Well, I’m not doing that s***. I’m going to lock up the store until the computers are up.”

(At this point, the store manager has just come in for her shift and has heard part of our conversation.)

Store Manager: “Actually, you can do transactions by hand or you can be fired.”

New Manager: “You can’t fire me for that!”

Store Manager: “For violating company policy and refusing to do your job? Yes I can!”

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