The Other Other Woman

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Spouses & Partners

(A couple, about mid-30s, comes up to the counter. The man has an account, but no card or ID on him. Her name is apparently on the account, though. Asking for his name, I pull up his account. As she’s fishing in her purse for ID, I look at his account. There are two women’s names on the account.)

Me: “Ah, so you must be [first female’s first name]?”

(Suddenly, the wife fires off a hateful look at her husband.)

Wife, to husband: “I thought you took your ex-wife’s name off the account!”

Me: “Oh geez, I’m sorry. He probably just added you, not realizing her name was still on there. You must be [second female’s first name].”

(She gives me an ice cold stare.)

Wife: “NO, I’M NOT!” *storms out*

Him: “Well, guess these are for me, then.” *rents the movies and leaves, blushing redder than an apple*

An Eye For An Eye Makes For Great Box Office Numbers

| Westmont, NJ, USA | Uncategorized

(A customer comes to the counter with the video box for “Gandhi”.)

Customer: “Have you seen this?”

Me: “Yes. It’s a good movie.”

Customer: “What’s it about?”

Me: “It’s about the peace activist Mahatma Gandhi.”

Customer: *excited* “So there’s lots of shooting and stuff? *gestures like he’s firing a machine gun*

Me: “No, not really.”

Customer:*disappointed* “Oh, well…I’ll get it anyway.”

Also In Sync, In Demand, In Stock, And In Waves

| Rice Lake, WI, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Thanks for calling [store]. This is [name].”

Caller #1: “How much is it to rent a movie?”

Me: “It all depends. Which one were you thinking of?”

Caller #1:Insidious.”

Me: “That’d be $3.96. That’s with tax.”

Caller #1: “Okay, thanks.” *hangs up*

(About thirty seconds passes before the phone rings again.)

Me: “Thanks for calling [store]. This is [name].”

Caller #2: “How much is it to rent Insidious?”

Me: “That’s gonna be $3.96, with tax.”

Caller #2: “Okay, how much is that?”

Me: “That’s the price. $3.96.”

(There’s about ten seconds of silence before I ask if anyone’s there. I hang up after no response. Thirty seconds later, the phone rings again.)

Me: “Thanks for calling [store], this is [name].”

Caller #3: “Hey, how much is it to rent Insidious with tax?”

Me: “$3.96.”

Caller #3: “Okay, thanks. We’ll be right in!”

Me: *confused*