You Can Win The Battle But Lease The War

| Toronto, Canada | Extra Stupid, Money

(This takes place just when DVDs are starting to replace VHS. A customer comes to the counter with a popular movie on VHS.)

Me: “You know, sir, the rental costs $4.99 for a week, but we are selling previously rented copies of this movie for only $1.99.”

Customer: “That’s okay. I just want to rent it.”

Me: “But sir, it’s $3 cheaper if you buy it, and you won’t have to bring it back.”

Customer: “But I don’t want to keep it!”

Me: “Well, you could buy it and then throw it out after.”

Customer: *impatiently* “Look, I don’t want to buy anything. I just want to rent this movie!”

Me: *gives up* “Certainly, sir. That will be $5.14 with taxes. The movie is due back next Tuesday by midnight.”

Customer: “Great! Thanks!”

Some Customers Are Out Of Line

| Canandaigua, NY, USA | At The Checkout

(We have a customer who occasionally comes in who is in a wheelchair. So, to make things easy, he just calls us when he’s in the parking lot and asks for assistance. We come out and take care of getting movies for him. This happens right after I come back in to grab him a movie, and hop back on the register. There is one other person in line.)

Customer: “This is absolute bulls***. Why can’t he just get out of his car like everyone else?!”

Me: “Sorry, guys, but he’s a paraplegic and this would just make things easier on him.”

Customer: “That’s no excuse! He should come in like the rest of us! I want you to take care of me now. I was first in line!”

Me: “With all due respect, no, you weren’t. He called long before you got up to the register, and I’m not gonna make him get out of his car and potentially hurt himself to save you an extra 20 seconds. I will be with you in a second.”

Customer: *shuts up*

Episode 94: The Poser Menace

| Greenville, SC, USA | Geeks Rule

(I work at a video rental store and near our check out we have the boxed set of Star Wars on Blu-ray.)

Customer: “Oh my God, Star Wars on Blu-ray! I love this movie so much!  I like how in the new ones, they put in the new Anakin Skywalker in the scene with the Jabberwockys on Earth!”

Me: “…you mean Ewoks on Endor?”

Customer: “Oh yeah, that’s what they’re called…”