Worst Sequel Ever

| Kitchener, ON, Canada | Right | July 11, 2013

(A customer rushes in, looking flustered.)

Customer: “Excuse me! I need that new movie!”

Me: “Which movie is that?”

Customer: “Fury Avengers!”

Me: “…I’m sorry? What’s the name?”

Customer: “Fury Avengers! Fury Avengers! It just came out!”

Me: “Who’s in the movie? I don’t seem to have anything called ‘Fury Avengers’ in our system.”

Customer: “I don’t know who’s in it! It’s called Fury Avengers! Brendan Fury Avengers!”

Me: *light bulb* “OH! Do you mean Furry Vengeance, with Brendan Fraser?”

Customer: “Yes! Whatever it’s called!”

Me: *sigh* “Right this way, sir.”

Thinks He Is Customer Number One

| Detroit, MI, USA | Right | June 3, 2013

(A customer comes in. While he is a regular, no one on staff cares for him, because he always acts like he should get special treatment.)

Me: “Hi, [Customer]. How are you today?”

Customer: “Fine, Here’s your movies.”

(He throws them on the counter, and they scatter everywhere. I start picking them up.)

Me: “These movies didn’t come from here. In fact they aren’t even from another one of the stores in our chain, but a completely different one.”

Customer: “What do you mean? So I can’t return them here?”

Me: “No, you’ll have to take them back to [Competitor].”

Customer: “I don’t see why! Don’t you know how much money I spend here?”

Me: “Actually, I do know you’re in here quite often, but I still can’t take movies from [Competitor].”

(He argues with me for a while, and I try to calmly explain why I cannot take his movies. He continues to be belligerent, and knocks over other things that we have sitting on the counter.)

Me: “Sir, I am going to have to ask you to leave.”

Customer: “Fine! I’m leaving and taking my business elsewhere!”

(As I watch him leave the store, instead of heading toward his car, he goes around to the part of the building facing the road and proceeds to urinate all over the windows. The entire store has huge windows, so after all the ruckus he caused, my staff and our customers in the store all see this. Everyone is in shock over this display. I start calling the police.)

Me: “Yes, I would like to make a report on a man who exposed himself and urinated on our building… Why, yes, I do happen to have his name and his address…”

1 Thumbs

This Boss Needs Work

| Houston, TX, USA | Working | April 30, 2013

(I’ve submitted my notice on December 1 that my last day will be December 21st. On the 21st, I come by to turn in my uniform and collect my paycheck. As I do so, I happen to glance at the work schedule for the next week.)

Me: “Hey [boss], why do you have me scheduled to work Christmas Eve?  And Christmas day? And…” *flips page* “….New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day!?”

Boss: “You didn’t ask off!”

Me: “You’re right, I didn’t. Because I quit.”

Boss: “Hey if you don’t want to work a holiday you have to submit your off-time requests EARLY, you KNOW this.”

Me: “No I don’t… because I don’t work here anymore.”

Boss: “Look, if you don’t want to work your shifts, you need to find someone to cover for you!”

Me: “Or what? You’ll fire me?”

Boss: “You bet your butt!”


Boss: “Find someone to cover your shifts if you want to skip work on a holiday. Good luck!”

(I turn to a customer who has been listening.)

Me: “Excuse me sir, will you cover my shift on Christmas Eve?”

Boss: “He doesn’t work here!”


(I then left. She called me, furious, each and every day I was supposed to work, and ended up forcing one of her assistant managers to work the store alone on New Year’s Eve, promising I would be there. The assistant manager called me in tears and begged me to come in. That three hours of work screwed up my taxes for two years because the store manager reported it wrong.)

1 Thumbs

Signs Of Trouble

| New Orleans, LA, USA | Working | January 7, 2013

(My six year old and I are at the movie rental store. After searching and finding the movies we want, we proceed to the check out counter.)

Me: “Just these, please.”

Cashier: “No problem.”

(The cashier rings up the movies and tells me the total. However, as I move in to swipe my credit card on the kiosk…)

Cashier: “Oh no! Our credit machines are down right now due to a power failure yesterday. Cash only!”

Me: “Oh, I didn’t know. I must have missed the sign.”

Cashier: “Oh, there’s no sign. We are just telling people about it.”

Me: “Why didn’t you tell us when we came in? We’ve been here walking around for 20 minutes picking out our movies and you are just now telling us?”

Cashier: “Well, it’s not my job to track you down in the store and tell you things. You should know already!”

Me: “Fine… is there an ATM nearby that I can get money from?”

Cashier: “How should I know? That’s not my job!”

(We ended up just walking out after that. Horrible customer service!)

Citizen Profane

| Powell, TN, USA | Working | December 18, 2012

Me: “I’m looking for a copy of Citizen Kane.”

Clerk: “Oh, we keep that in the children’s section.”

Me: “You… keep… Citizen Kane… in the children’s section?”

Clerk: “Well, it doesn’t have any dirty words in it!”

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