Doesn’t Provide THAT Kind Of Customer Service

| NS, Canada | Right | September 16, 2014

(I have just started working at a small-town video store. I’m female, 20 years old, and look much younger. We have an ‘adult’ room in the back. Most customers who buy or rent the porn are middle-aged or elderly men, and are not remotely creepy. Most, in fact, were awkward around me at first because I looked like a teenage kid. They chat about the weather, they get their porn, and get out. One shift when I am working alone, one customer wanders into the store, heads straight to back room, and comes up to my till five minutes later with an armful of adult DVDs.)

Customer: “Just these, please.”

Me: “No problem, sir, give me a second to check the discs. That’ll be [total].”

Customer: “Thanks.” *pays* “Hey, I’m from out of town, just in for two days. Do you have the number to the escort service?”

Me: “Um, no. We actually don’t have one. This is a pretty small city.”

Customer: “What!? No escort service? Well, what about a gentlemen’s club? With dancers?”

Me: “No, sorry, there’s actually no strip clubs, either.” *laughs nervously* “We don’t have much to do here…”

Customer: *frowns* “Well, do you know anyone who works on the side? Someone a lonely out-of-town visitor can call and spend a few hours with?”

Me: *wanting to die at this point* “I… are you asking me if I know any prostitutes, sir? I can assure you that I don’t.”

Customer: “I’m not a cop or anything.”

Me: “And I’m not exactly a pimp, sir.”

Customer: “Why did I even come here!? This is the worst business trip I’ve ever been sent on! What do people do for fun around here anyway?!”

(The customer stormed out. It probably took another hour for the color to come back to my face, and for the feeling of ‘ew,’ to wear off.)

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Should Be As Plain As (Seven) Day

| Canada | Working | August 27, 2014

(I rented two seven-day films five and six days prior respectively, when I get a call saying I have a late film. I figure I miscalculated the kids film I rented. I go in to return them and pay the fee.)

Cashier: “That’s $10 for [Film Title] being five days late.”

Me: “$10? For [Film Title]? That’s a seven-day film!””

Cashier: “It’s going to be just as expensive for those films, you know!”

(The cashier has gotten quite aggressive. I get the film and show the seven-day tag and tell her to check the day it was checked out.)

Cashier: “You took it out on Monday. You’re late by five days!”

Me: “It’s only been five days. It’s a seven-day film. There is no late fee.”

(The cashier gets really angry and refuses to make eye contact as she angrily hits the keyboard to delete the fee.)

Cashier: “There. The fee is taken off. You’re welcome.”

Devil Finds Work For Idle Hands

| TX, USA | Working | April 24, 2014

(My coworker and I are up front chatting while we wait for customers.)

Me: “I’m telling you, no one listens to what we say on the phone.”

Coworker: “There’s no way…”

(The phone rings. I hold up one finger and put on my best professional voice.)

Me: “Thank you for calling Beelzebub Video at [location]. You’re speaking with [My Name]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Yes, hi. I was calling to see if you had [Movie] available?”

(I check the system, grab the video, and put it on hold. The whole time, my coworker is watching me with huge, unbelieving eyes.)

Me: *finishing up with caller* “Thank you, and have a dark and sinister day.” *to coworker* “Never so much as paused.”

Coworker: “You win.”

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Still Has A Movie’s Happy Ending

| Harrington, DE, USA | Working | April 22, 2014

(I’m about 10 years old. Every Friday my dad and I have a movie night. He’s dropped me off at the rental store so I can pick out movies I like while he goes and orders the pizza. As I walk in, there’s a teenage employee putting videos into boxes.)

Me: “What’re you doing?”

Employee: “We’re closing down. [Competitor]’s running us out of business.”

Me: “What? That’s not fair. [Competitor] is full of jerks.”

Employee: “I know, sweetie.”

(The employee stops and stares at me for a moment as if trying to remember who I am, then gestures to the videos with her head.)

Employee: “Tell you what. I see you and your dad in here all the time. How about you go pick out some movies and you can keep them? Since we’re closing down, we’d just end up giving them away, anyway.”

Me: “Are you sure?”

Employee: “Yep!”

(To that nice girl, thanks! Although the tradition has ended, I still often watch some of the movies I had chosen to take home, and they’re always on my list of things to bring when I visit my dad.)

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Missed The Magic Of The Magic Kingdom

| Fayetteville, NC, USA | Right | March 30, 2014

(A customer comes up to the till and hands me a bunch of DVDs. We have to up-sell, for obvious reasons.)

Me: “I see you are getting a bunch of Disney movies. Did you know the newest Harry Potter just came out? We do have some copies on the shelf.”

Customer: “I’m not even going to touch that anti-Christ movie! Any movie that delves into magic is Satan’s movies!”

(I look down at the movies being rented and finish the transaction with no more chit-chatting.)

Me: “Enjoy The Little Mermaid, and Beauty and the Beast! Have a nice day!”

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