Missed The Magic Of The Magic Kingdom

| Fayetteville, NC, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Movies & TV, Religion

(A customer comes up to the till and hands me a bunch of DVDs. We have to up-sell, for obvious reasons.)

Me: “I see you are getting a bunch of Disney movies. Did you know the newest Harry Potter just came out? We do have some copies on the shelf.”

Customer: “I’m not even going to touch that anti-Christ movie! Any movie that delves into magic is Satan’s movies!”

(I look down at the movies being rented and finish the transaction with no more chit-chatting.)

Me: “Enjoy The Little Mermaid, and Beauty and the Beast! Have a nice day!”

Didn’t Do Math At Hogwarts

| Charlotte, NC, USA | Books & Reading, Extra Stupid, Geeks Rule, Movies & TV

(A customer is renting ‘Harry Potter: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2.’)

Customer: “Have you watched this?”

Me: “Yes, but I found the books to be much better.”

Customer: “How can you like the work of some lazy author?”

Me: “Huh?”

Customer: “There are eight movies, but only seven books. The author got lazy and wrapped everything up in seven books instead of writing eight!”

The Nation’s Reading Is A Blockbuster Problem

| Tampa, FL, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Movies & TV, Theme Of The Month

(I am working the register at our store and getting ready to ring up a customer’s rentals. When I pull up her account I notice she has some late fees from her previous rentals.)

Me: “Okay, ma’am. It looks like you have a balance of $8.54 from your previous rentals that we need to take care of.”

Customer: “That’s not possible. I brought ALL of my movies back on time!”

Me: “All right. Give me a moment to look at you account history to see what happened.”

(This takes just a couple of seconds, but the customer has already started to complain about me wasting her time.)

Me: “Okay, ma’am. I’ve found the problem. You checked out three movies that had a five-day term, and two new releases that were one-day rentals. You kept the one-day rentals out an extra day which is where the late fee came from.”

Customer: “Well, somebody should have explained that to me when I rented them! How was I supposed to know they were one-day rentals?!”

Me: “While I concede that it is possible that one our staff forgot to mention it to you, ma’am, the rental terms are clearly marked on the price sticker on the movie, on the receipt, and on signs everywhere throughout the store.”

Customer: “You actually expect your customers to read!? No wonder you’ve had to close so many stores!”