Danica Says Eat My Dust

| Canada | Uncategorized

(I am a female employee. A customer came in asking me to look up a movie about NASCAR that was not in our system.)

Me: “We actually don’t have that movie in our system at all. Sorry about that.”

Customer: “The movie is called ****. It’s about a NASCAR driver.”

Me: “Yes, I looked up the title, and we don’t carry that movie at all.”

Customer: “Well, maybe you could ask your manager to look it up for me.”

Me: “Yes, of course.”

Customer: “It’s just that women don’t generally know much about NASCAR. I mean, it’s nothing personal. I know that I wouldn’t be interested in learning how to knit, or how to wash a dish.”

Me: “…”

Sucks In The City

| Henniker, NH, USA | Uncategorized

(This is late at night at the video rental store, and I’m a teenage girl working by myself. A man walks in and stands there grinning.)

Me: “Um, hi, can I help you?”

Customer: “Sucks to be you!”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: *pulls his arm in front of his face like Dracula* “I VANT TO SUCK YOUR BLOOD!”

Me: “Uh…are you looking for Dracula videos…?”

(At this point, we hear a car pull up.)

Customer: “AHH! WITNESSES! DRACULA, AWAY!” *runs out*

Because Aramaic Is Sooo Last Millenium

| Nashville, TN, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Hi, can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah. I rented this movie, and ya’ll gave me the wrong one. This one has subtitles, and I wanted it in English.”

Me: “Sorry, sir. But Passion of The Christ is supposed to be in subtitles. It’s the way Mel Gibson made it.”

Customer: “Ya gotta be kiddin’ me! Why would he do somethin’ stupid like that?”

Me: “Well, I’m guess he just wanted to be true to its roots.”

Customer: “The idiot. Everyone knows the Bible is in English!”

Me: “…”

Customer: “So, can you fix it or what?”

Me: “Fix it? What do you mean?”

Customer: “Call up that Gibson feller and tell him to send you guys the English version!”