Dude, Where’s My Brain

| Eugene, OR, USA | Uncategorized

(Two guys walk into our video rental store, find their video, and come up to pay.)

Coworker: “What’s your phone number?”

Customer: “Yeah, it’s [phone number].”

Coworker: “Okay, so Chris [last name]?”

Customer’s friend: “Holy s*** man, he knows your name!” *turns to my coworker* “Dude, what’s my name?!”

Coworker: “…”

Customer: “Dude, I have an account here.”

Customer’s friend: “Oh. I’m going to go wait in the car…”

Thou Playest Too Much Warcraft, Methinks

| Lapeer, MI, USA | Uncategorized

(An customer wearing the famous “I F**K on the first date” t-shirt is at our video rental store complaining about a charge on her account. Note that she also has her four year-old daughter with her.)

Customer: “You f***ing peons make seven dollars an hour, and you think you can tell us what to do?! You lost that movie yourself!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but there is nothing I can do–”

Customer: “No, but you will be sorry! I expect a heart-felt apology to my face!”

(The customer storms out of the store with her daughter in tow, but before I can get to the next customer she comes back in.)

Customer: “My daughter is bawling because of you! So, thank you! THANK YOU!”

(She kicks the door on her way out and goes back to her car. I take a deep breath and put my smile back on.)

Me: “I can help who’s next!”

Next customer: “Did she just call you a peon?”

Danica Says Eat My Dust

| Canada | Uncategorized

(I am a female employee. A customer came in asking me to look up a movie about NASCAR that was not in our system.)

Me: “We actually don’t have that movie in our system at all. Sorry about that.”

Customer: “The movie is called ****. It’s about a NASCAR driver.”

Me: “Yes, I looked up the title, and we don’t carry that movie at all.”

Customer: “Well, maybe you could ask your manager to look it up for me.”

Me: “Yes, of course.”

Customer: “It’s just that women don’t generally know much about NASCAR. I mean, it’s nothing personal. I know that I wouldn’t be interested in learning how to knit, or how to wash a dish.”

Me: “…”