(I am working the register at our store and getting ready to ring up a customer’s rentals. When I pull up her account I notice she has some late fees from her previous rentals.)

Me: “Okay, ma’am. It looks like you have a balance of $8.54 from your previous rentals that we need to take care of.”

Customer: “That’s not possible. I brought ALL of my movies back on time!”

Me: “All right. Give me a moment to look at you account history to see what happened.”

(This takes just a couple of seconds, but the customer has already started to complain about me wasting her time.)

Me: “Okay, ma’am. I’ve found the problem. You checked out three movies that had a five-day term, and two new releases that were one-day rentals. You kept the one-day rentals out an extra day which is where the late fee came from.”

Customer: “Well, somebody should have explained that to me when I rented them! How was I supposed to know they were one-day rentals?!”

Me: “While I concede that it is possible that one our staff forgot to mention it to you, ma’am, the rental terms are clearly marked on the price sticker on the movie, on the receipt, and on signs everywhere throughout the store.”

Customer: “You actually expect your customers to read!? No wonder you’ve had to close so many stores!”

(I hear an exchange between two employees in a DVD rental store.)

Clerk #1: *yells across the store* “Hey dude, any idea when the new Thor movie comes out?”

Clerk #2: *yells so the entire store can hear* “How the f*** should I know? I hate movies!”

(A customer rushes in, looking flustered.)

Customer: “Excuse me! I need that new movie!”

Me: “Which movie is that?”

Customer: “Fury Avengers!”

Me: “…I’m sorry? What’s the name?”

Customer: “Fury Avengers! Fury Avengers! It just came out!”

Me: “Who’s in the movie? I don’t seem to have anything called ‘Fury Avengers’ in our system.”

Customer: “I don’t know who’s in it! It’s called Fury Avengers! Brendan Fury Avengers!”

Me: *light bulb* “OH! Do you mean Furry Vengeance, with Brendan Fraser?”

Customer: “Yes! Whatever it’s called!”

Me: *sigh* “Right this way, sir.”

(A customer comes in. While he is a regular, no one on staff cares for him, because he always acts like he should get special treatment.)

Me: “Hi, [Customer]. How are you today?”

Customer: “Fine, Here’s your movies.”

(He throws them on the counter, and they scatter everywhere. I start picking them up.)

Me: “These movies didn’t come from here. In fact they aren’t even from another one of the stores in our chain, but a completely different one.”

Customer: “What do you mean? So I can’t return them here?”

Me: “No, you’ll have to take them back to [Competitor].”

Customer: “I don’t see why! Don’t you know how much money I spend here?”

Me: “Actually, I do know you’re in here quite often, but I still can’t take movies from [Competitor].”

(He argues with me for a while, and I try to calmly explain why I cannot take his movies. He continues to be belligerent, and knocks over other things that we have sitting on the counter.)

Me: “Sir, I am going to have to ask you to leave.”

Customer: “Fine! I’m leaving and taking my business elsewhere!”

(As I watch him leave the store, instead of heading toward his car, he goes around to the part of the building facing the road and proceeds to urinate all over the windows. The entire store has huge windows, so after all the ruckus he caused, my staff and our customers in the store all see this. Everyone is in shock over this display. I start calling the police.)

Me: “Yes, I would like to make a report on a man who exposed himself and urinated on our building… Why, yes, I do happen to have his name and his address…”

(I’ve submitted my notice on December 1 that my last day will be December 21st. On the 21st, I come by to turn in my uniform and collect my paycheck. As I do so, I happen to glance at the work schedule for the next week.)

Me: “Hey, [Boss], why do you have me scheduled to work Christmas Eve? And Christmas Day? And…” *flips page* “…New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day?!”

Boss: “You didn’t ask off!”

Me: “You’re right, I didn’t. Because I quit.”

Boss: “Hey, if you don’t want to work a holiday, you have to submit your off-time requests EARLY. You KNOW this.”

Me: “No I don’t… because I don’t work here anymore.”

Boss: “Look, if you don’t want to work your shifts, you need to find someone to cover for you!”

Me: “Or what? You’ll fire me?”

Boss: “You bet your butt!”

Me: “I DO NOT WORK HERE ANYMORE!”

Boss: “Find someone to cover your shifts if you want to skip work on a holiday. Good luck!”

(I turn to a customer who has been listening.)

Me: “Excuse me, sir, will you cover my shift on Christmas Eve?”

Boss: “He doesn’t work here!”

Me: “NEITHER DO I!”

(I then left. She called me, furious, each and every day I was supposed to work, and she ended up forcing one of her assistant managers to work the store alone on New Year’s Eve, promising I would be there. The assistant manager called me in tears and begged me to come in. That three hours of work screwed up my taxes for two years because the store manager reported it wrong.)

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