Lack Of Grey Matter

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(Two teenage customers ask if I can find a film for a school project.)

Customer #1: “Hi, do you have Casablanca?”

Me: “Sure.” *I fetch the film*

Customer #1: “Oh, it’s black and white?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer #2: “That’s no good! We don’t have a black and white TV, only color!”

SkyNet: The Early Years

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(Note: I’m making calls to let people know that the movies they reserved are in.)

Me: “Hi there, this is Sarah from . I’m just calling to let you know the movie you reserved is now in if you’d like to come pick it up.”

Customer: “Oh, for Pete’s sake. These stupid f***ing recordings! I can’t believe even friggin has them now. You hear that, you stupid f***ing robot? YOU F***ING PIECE OF ROBOT S***!

Me: “Um…sir? I am an actual person.”

Customer: *hangs up*

Related:
Why Skynet Annihilated Mankind, Vol. 1

Aches On A Brain

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Customer: “I’m looking for a DVD. My father told me I had to rent it.”

Me: “Okay, do you know what the movie was called?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Did he say what actor or actress was featured in the film?”

Customer: “Samuel something.”

Me: “Samuel L. Jackson?”

Customer: “Yeah–him.”

Me: “Did he happen to mention what the movie was about?”

Customer: “Um…Snakes…on a Plane.”

(I walk the customer over to the movie ‘Snakes on a Plane’ and hand it to her.)

Customer: “I don’t think this is it.”

Me: “Ma’am, this is the only movie I have with Samuel L. Jackson in it about snakes on a plane.”

Customer: “Hmm…and this is about snakes on a plane?”

Me: “Yes.”

(The customer puts the movie back on shelf.)

Customer: “I just don’t think this is it.”