Taking A Gamble

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Right | March 4, 2011

Customer: “Recommend the movie I am thinking of!”

Me: “Pardon?”

Customer: “You heard me. Are you deaf? Recommend the movie that I am thinking of!”

(I reach over and put my hand on her head.)

Customer:CASINO!”

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Don’t Knock It Until You’ve Pried It

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Right | February 24, 2011

(We are closed and counting money from the register, when a customer approaches the locked door and tries to open it. She notices the closed sign and tries the door again, then knocks on the door loudly and pulls hard on the door. So hard in fact, that she manages to fit her shoe through the crack. Worried about a broken door, I open the door quickly.)

Customer: “Are you open?”

Me: “No, we are closed.”

Customer: “Then why did you open the door?!”

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It’s Late When It’s Son-Down

| Spokane, WA, USA | Right | January 25, 2011

(A woman and her pre-teen son approach the counter.)

Son: “I want both of these movies!”

Mother: “We will have to see. I don’t have a lot of cash and we might have late fees.”

Son: “God! Mom you are so dumb! I can’t believe you forgot to take back the d*** movies!”

Me, to mother: “If your late fees are too much, we will also accept your first born in payment.”

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Pre-Cog Movie-Log

| MI, USA | Right | January 10, 2011

Me: “The computer is showing you have a late balance of $5.60.”

Customer: “What? My movie was on time!”

Me: “Looks like it was two days late.”

Customer: “But I just returned it today!”

Me: “Yes, it was a five day rental. It was due two days ago.”

Customer: “But I rented it Thursday! It should have been due today!”

Me: “You actually rented it last Tuesday, exactly one week ago. For the confusion, I can remove your late charge for you this time. Just be a little more careful in the future.”

Customer: “That’s impossible! You rented me my movie on the wrong day! You rented my movie early!”

Me: “You’re saying that I was able to predict what you wanted two days in advance, entered it in the computer, and you came in two days later to get it and pay for it?”

Customer: “That’s exactly what I’m saying! You rented my movie early!”

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This Spells Disaster

| Oklahoma City, OK, USA | Right | December 23, 2010

Customer: “Can you help me find a movie? Your system confuses me.”

Me: “The alphabet?”

Customer: “Yeah.”

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