(About five years ago, a movie rental store was going out of business and was selling copies of newer DVDs to get rid of its stock. I am with a male friend, who is gay. I am looking at movies that I hadn’t yet seen that were priced at $5 each, and without thinking, say the following:)
Me: “I need to get Knocked Up.”
Friend: *without hesitation* “You are barking up the WRONG tree.”
(I am the assistant manager at a video rental store in a very small town. Most of the people who work here are friends outside the job. The store manager calls me and another girl into his office because there has been a complaint from a customer. He has to work really hard keeping a straight face while he tells us:)
Manager: “A lady has complained that you were smiling too much while you worked. I made her repeat herself twice because I couldn’t figure out what her complaint was. She got mad and said ‘your employees enjoy their jobs too much; work shouldn’t be fun!'”
(Since it was such a small town, it wasn’t very hard to figure out who the sour puss was and we made sure to put on our super serious faces whenever she came in. I’m not sure how effective it was since we’d always dissolve into fits of giggles whenever she wasn’t looking.)
(It is back when major video rental chains are still in business. We have a regular known shoplifter hit us and neighboring stores recently, and he walks in to my store. It is a Saturday night, and we are slammed, so before I can go and watch him, he is already trying to go out our entrance door, which lacks sensors.)
Me: “Sir, you need to go out the exit. That’s an entrance-only.”
Shoplifter: “I just have to run to my car and get my wallet…”
Me: “Okay, but you need—”
(And with that, he is gone out the door. Luckily, I’m not the only manager on tonight.)
Me: *to coworker* “I’m gonna take a smoke break real fast.”
(I proceed to walk out to the parking lot, which is huge because it is in a shopping center. I see the man and start following him.)
Me: “Man, it is a nice night tonight, don’t you think?”
(He doesn’t respond, but I continue to try and chat while following him. Suddenly he starts jogging, and I follow. He then starts throwing carts in my way as I run behind him. After another few minutes, he stops, turns around, and pulls back his fist! I am not a muscular or tall guy, and I can only react instinctively, which is to shrug my shoulders, look at him, and say:)
Me: “Really?”
Shoplifter: *taken aback* “Well, what do we do now?”
Me: “Well, if you drop all the stuff you have on you, I’ll be too busy picking it up to even see where you go…”
(By this point, his getaway car was honking and yelling obscenities. After about thirty seconds, he opened up his jacket and dropped around $400 worth of pre-rented games. True to my word, I took my time getting them as he took off. Later, I get scolded by my manager for going after them and potentially getting hurt, but she laughed about how my reaction was enough to shock the shoplifter out of his aggressive state. Needless to say, he never came back after that.)
(I work at a movie rental place and this is a conversation that I had with a customer and her son the other day. A customer comes walking up to the register. He is about 13.)
Customer: “I am looking for a movie to rent.”
Me: “Okay. What is the title and I will look it up?”
Customer: “Oculus.”
Me: “I’m sorry, but that movie will be in theaters Friday.”
Customer: “Oh, okay.”
(He walks away. Few minutes later he comes back and asks for another movie.)
Me: “What movie are you looking for?”
Customer: “The Purge: Anarchy.”
Me: “I’m sorry, but that movie hasn’t even come out in theaters yet.”
(The customer walks away. A few minutes later I am helping someone else and the same customer walks back up and starts talking to another associate. I overhear him ask for another movie.)
Customer: “I am looking for The Quiet Ones.”
Other Associate: “Okay, let me look that up for you.”
(I mention to the associate and the customer that that movie has not come out yet in theaters. The customer walks away. A few minutes later the boy comes back up with his mom.)
Mother: “I want to talk to a manager.”
Me: “That’s me. How can I help you?”
Mother: “I have sent my son up here three times looking for movies and every time he tells me that you do not have it and that they are coming out in theaters.”
Me: “I understand, ma’am, but those movies have not come out yet and because they have not come out we do not have a release date for the DVDs. I do apologize for that. Is there another movie that you are looking for that I can help you find?”
Mother: “NO. I WANT THOSE MOVIES AND I DEMAND THAT YOU GET ME THE DVD COPIES OF THOSE!”
(At this point I am taken aback that she is yelling at me to get her the DVD copies of movies that have not even been released in the theaters.)
Me: “I am sorry but there is no way for me to do that.”
Mother: “Well, how can you offer to rent out the newest movies if you do not have them? I see the commercials on the TV so that must mean that you have them. I bet they are in your back room and you just don’t want to walk back there and get them.”
Me: “I am sorry, but we do not have them. There is nothing that I can do for you. You can go see the movies in the theaters or if you want the DVD copies then they usually release them a few months after it has left the theaters. That is all that I can suggest.”
Mother: “You are no help. Your customer service skills suck, and I hope you are happy because my son really wanted to see these movies and now you are letting him down. I hope you feel like s***!”
(She demands the number to our corporate office and my name.)
Me: “Here is the number and my name. I again apologize that you are unhappy with our store but there is nothing that I can do.”
(She headed towards the exit, complaining how we don’t help customers and don’t have movies.)
(I have just started working at a small-town video store. I’m female, 20 years old, and look much younger. We have an ‘adult’ room in the back. Most customers who buy or rent the p*rn are middle-aged or elderly men, and are not remotely creepy. Most, in fact, were awkward around me at first because I looked like a teenage kid. They chat about the weather, they get their p*rn, and get out. One shift when I am working alone, one customer wanders into the store, heads straight to back room, and comes up to my till five minutes later with an armful of adult DVDs.)
Customer: “Just these, please.”
Me: “No problem, sir, give me a second to check the discs. That’ll be [total].”
Customer: “Thanks.” *pays* “Hey, I’m from out of town, just in for two days. Do you have the number to the escort service?”
Me: “Um, no. We actually don’t have one. This is a pretty small city.”
Customer: “What!? No escort service? Well, what about a gentlemen’s club? With dancers?”
Me: “No, sorry, there’s actually no strip clubs, either.” *laughs nervously* “We don’t have much to do here…”
Customer: *frowns* “Well, do you know anyone who works on the side? Someone a lonely out-of-town visitor can call and spend a few hours with?”
Me: *wanting to die at this point* “I… are you asking me if I know any prostitutes, sir? I can assure you that I don’t.”
Customer: “I’m not a cop or anything.”
Me: “And I’m not exactly a pimp, sir.”
Customer: “Why did I even come here!? This is the worst business trip I’ve ever been sent on! What do people do for fun around here anyway?!”
(The customer stormed out. It probably took another hour for the color to come back to my face, and for the feeling of ‘ew,’ to wear off.)
