Takes One To Jim Crow One

| San Jose, CA, USA | Right | November 18, 2011

(I work at a movie rental store. Sometimes we have deaf customers. I know some conversational ASL and can usually communicate with the deaf community just fine. A woman and her daughter walk up with a note and place it on the counter and point to it repeatedly.)

Note: “We’re looking for two movies that came out last Tuesday.”

Me: *in ASL* “Hello, yes, what movies?”

Customer, to daughter: “Why does he think I’m deaf?”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry! Usually our deaf customers write notes to us.”

Customer: “That’s ridiculous! How dare you just assume I’m disabled! It’s ridiculous!”

Me: “I’m terribly sorry. May I ask why you gave me a note instead of asking me verbally?”

Customer: “You’re Asian! How was I supposed to know you knew my language?!”

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Beyond The Call Of Duty

| Wisconsin, USA | Right | October 11, 2011

(I work at a video rental store that carries some adult movies in a side/back room. I am busy sorting our dropbox of movies when a older gentleman approaches my male coworker.)

Customer: “These [adult] movies didn’t work.”

Me: “I’m sorry. Did you want to grab a couple others to replace them?”

Customer: “No, you do it for me. These didn’t work.”

(I check the computer system for replacement copies.)

Me: “Well, these are the only copies of these movies, but you can go get two others for free today.”

Customer: “You go find two for me. I want ones that work. You go pick them out.”

Me: “You want me to go get you two replacements?”

Customer: “Yes, you.”

(I go into the back room and chooses two movies for the customer. I then clean the new movies and check out the customer.)

Me, to coworker: *after the customer leaves* “Please tell me you heard what he had me do.”

Coworker: “Did you just go pick out porn for him?”

Me: “Yeah. How weird.”

Coworker: *laughing* “I’d just grab the first two I found.”

Me: “I couldn’t! I had to find ones that were a similar theme.”

Coworker: “Awkward.”

Me: “Totally.”

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Vampires Vs. Watercoolers

| Texas, USA | Romantic | October 11, 2011

(My boyfriend and I are at a local video rental store when we overhear a conversation between a couple about what movies to rent.)

Husband: “What about this movie? I heard it was a good movie.” *points to Twilight New Moon*

Wife: “We’re not renting that.”

Husband: “But we each get to pick one movie.”

Wife: “We’re not renting that! It’s for teenage girls.”

Husband: “We each get a movie. That’s the movie I want.”

Wife: “That movie is for teenage girls. I will not watch that movie! If you rent it, you will be watching it alone. I am not going to watch that!”

Husband: “It’s supposed to be good. I should be able to pick what I want, since we each get a movie.”

Wife: “Fine. I’m going to tell everyone you work with that you watch movies for teenage girls!”

(He didn’t get the movie.)

The Horrors Of Mispronunciation

| Gilbert, AZ, USA | Right | October 5, 2011

(I am working the counter when a confused-looking customer approaches me.)

Customer: “Do you have any horror movies?”

Me: “Yes, the horror section is over there, past action.”

Customer: “No, no! I mean horror movies.”

Me: “Right, horror movies. Like, scary movies, right?”

Customer: *growing agitated* “No! I mean horror movies!”

(He keeps giving the word slightly suggestive emphasis, so I start to wonder if he’s trying to say something else. He keeps carefully enunciating the whole word, including the last syllable.)

Me: “You are saying ‘horr-OR’ movies, right? Like The Exorcist, Scream, Nightmare on Elm Street?”

Customer: “No! Horror movies. You know, adult movies!”

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Ball Buster Filibuster

| San Jose, CA, USA | Romantic | September 26, 2011

(I work at a video store, where in order to rent movies we ask for a phone number and then read out their name to verify the account. You can have one primary account name, with others added on to it. This particular customer was on the account under his wife.)

Me: “Phone number, please.”

Customer: *reads out number*

Me: “Are you under [name of wife]”?

Customer: “Not tonight. She’s mad at me!”

Also seen on: Not Always Right

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