In The Line Of Hire

| Charlotte, NC, USA | Working | June 11, 2012

(I am 17 years old and running the register while the manager and another employee are restocking in the back. I see a big, scary, burly customer steal a box of DVDs, but as I weigh all of 100 pounds soaking wet and it is corporate policy to not confront thieves, I let him walk out the door and alert my manager.)

Me: “[Manager], someone just stole a box of DVD’s. I am going to go call the police.”

Manager: “So, you saw the guy stealing the box of DVDs?”

Me: “Yes, I saw him open the box, pour all the DVDs into a bag, and then walk out the door with it above his head so that the alarm wouldn’t sound.”

Manager: “And you didn’t try to stop him?!”

Me: “Well, I was told during training that we were not supposed to confront thieves.”

Manager: “Screw training! I expect you to try to stop thieves. I am so sick of them stealing from me!”

Me: “So, you wanted me to confront this big, scary guy and do what exactly?”

Manager: “You should have chased or tackled him or something!”

Me: “You wanted me to try to tackle a man who is three times my size?”

Manager: “Exactly! I am so sick of how all you young employees never take any initiative with your jobs!”

Me: “So, your idea of initiative is putting my life in danger over a box of DVDs?”

Manager: “Exactly!”

Me: “Would you have tackled the guy?”

Manager: “No! I have two kids. I can’t be putting my life in danger like that!”

Me: “But I am a kid!”

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See You Later, Gladiator

| Lynnwood, WA, USA | Working | June 1, 2012

(Note: I used to work for a manager who was such a complete jerk that everyone tried avoiding conversations with him. This happens late at night just before closing. Keep in mind I am a 20-year-old female and the only other employee in the store.)

Manager: “Have you seen that new show Spartacus?!”

Me: “Nope, never got around to it.”

Manager: “You should really take the time to see it. It’s great.”

Me: “Okay, maybe I will sometime.”

Manager: “Unless seeing naked women makes you uncomfortable…”

Me: “What?!”

Manager: “There are so many naked women in there…even guys!”

Me: “Right. Nice.”

Manager: “There’s just so much sex in it—”

Me: “Alrighty then.”

Manager: “Really detailed—”

Me: “Okie dokie.”

Manager: “I saw this one guy who just whipped it out!”

Me: “Are…you trying to relate to me, or are you purposely trying to creep me out?”

Manager: *face turns red*

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Episode 94: The Poser Menace

| Greenville, SC, USA | Right | May 3, 2012

(I work at a video rental store and near our check out we have the boxed set of Star Wars on Blu-ray.)

Customer: “Oh my God, Star Wars on Blu-ray! I love this movie so much!  I like how in the new ones, they put in the new Anakin Skywalker in the scene with the Jabberwockys on Earth!”

Me: “…you mean Ewoks on Endor?”

Customer: “Oh yeah, that’s what they’re called…”

The Other Other Woman

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Right | April 9, 2012

(A couple, about mid-30s, comes up to the counter. The man has an account, but no card or ID on him. Her name is apparently on the account, though. Asking for his name, I pull up his account. As she’s fishing in her purse for ID, I look at his account. There are two women’s names on the account.)

Me: “Ah, so you must be [first female’s first name]?”

(Suddenly, the wife fires off a hateful look at her husband.)

Wife, to husband: “I thought you took your ex-wife’s name off the account!”

Me: “Oh geez, I’m sorry. He probably just added you, not realizing her name was still on there. You must be [second female’s first name].”

(She gives me an ice cold stare.)

Wife: “NO, I’M NOT!” *storms out*

Him: “Well, guess these are for me, then.” *rents the movies and leaves, blushing redder than an apple*

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An Eye For An Eye Makes For Great Box Office Numbers

| Westmont, NJ, USA | Right | March 23, 2012

(A customer comes to the counter with the video box for “Gandhi”.)

Customer: “Have you seen this?”

Me: “Yes. It’s a good movie.”

Customer: “What’s it about?”

Me: “It’s about the peace activist Mahatma Gandhi.”

Customer: *excited* “So there’s lots of shooting and stuff? *gestures like he’s firing a machine gun*

Me: “No, not really.”

Customer:*disappointed* “Oh, well…I’ll get it anyway.”

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