It’s Late When It’s Son-Down

| Spokane, WA, USA | Hall of Fame, Uncategorized

(A woman and her pre-teen son approach the counter.)

Son: “I want both of these movies!”

Mother: “We will have to see. I don’t have a lot of cash and we might have late fees.”

Son: “God! Mom you are so dumb! I can’t believe you forgot to take back the d*** movies!”

Me, to mother: “If your late fees are too much, we will also accept your first born in payment.”

Pre-Cog Movie-Log

| MI, USA | Hall of Fame, Uncategorized

Me: “The computer is showing you have a late balance of $5.60.”

Customer: “What? My movie was on time!”

Me: “Looks like it was two days late.”

Customer: “But I just returned it today!”

Me: “Yes, it was a five day rental. It was due two days ago.”

Customer: “But I rented it Thursday! It should have been due today!”

Me: “You actually rented it last Tuesday, exactly one week ago. For the confusion, I can remove your late charge for you this time. Just be a little more careful in the future.”

Customer: “That’s impossible! You rented me my movie on the wrong day! You rented my movie early!”

Me: “You’re saying that I was able to predict what you wanted two days in advance, entered it in the computer, and you came in two days later to get it and pay for it?”

Customer: “That’s exactly what I’m saying! You rented my movie early!”

This Spells Disaster

| Oklahoma City, OK, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “Can you help me find a movie? Your system confuses me.”

Me: “The alphabet?”

Customer: “Yeah.”