The Customers We Dill With

| Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Crazy Requests

(A customer comes in the door and heads straight over to me.)

Customer: “Excuse me, do you all sell pickles?”

Me: “Uh, I’m sorry… do we sell what?”

Customer: “Pickles.”

Me: “Uh… no, we do not.”

Customer: “Darn. I coulda sworn you guys used to sell them here. Ah, well. Where are your blank cassette tapes?”

Me: “Uh, we don’t sell those, either.”

Customer: “Really? Well, what about batteries?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “Greeting cards?”

Me: “Sir, this is a video rental store.”

Customer: “…So?”

Like A Certain Bunny, He Just Keeps Going

| Pennsylvania, USA | Uncategorized

(I work at a movie rental store. One night, a strange man comes into my store and asks me a question.)

Customer: *without making eye contact* “Do you guys have batteries?”

Me: “No, I’m sorry but we don’t have batteries.”

Customer: “Are you sure? ‘Cause…uh…I was sure you guys had batteries.”

Me: “Yeah, I’m sure we don’t have batteries.”

Customer: “I could have sworn you guys carried batteries.”

Me: “No batteries, sorry.”

(For 5 minutes, he keeps asking me if I was sure that we didn’t carry batteries. He eventually leaves. A friend of mine who works at the store next to mine comes in about a half hour later.)

Friend: “I just had the strangest conversation. Some guy came into my store, and kept asking us if we sold–”

Me: “Batteries?”

Friend: “Yeah! How did you know?”

The Lonely And The Lonelier

| Westmont, NJ, USA | Uncategorized

(I manage a small video rental chain that is open 365 days a year, including Christmas.)

Customer: “I can’t believe you’re open on Christmas. Who rents movies on Christmas?”

Me: “You’re here…”

Customer: “But I’m renting video games. That’s different!”