Looking For Rated S

| CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Rude & Risque, Technology

(I’m working at a well-known video game chain store when two of our regulars – a man and his teenage son – walk into the store. They browse the shelves for a while before coming over to me.)

Father: *places Call of Duty game on counter* “What is this game rated ‘M’ for?”

Me: “Violence and language, if I remember correctly. Let me check to make sure.”

Father: “No sexual content?”

Me: *checking computer* “No, sir.”

Father: *to son* “Come on, dude, let’s find another game.”

He Needs To Be Taken Outside And Quartered

| NH, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money

(It’s Black Friday and the line has never shortened or ended since we opened.)

Customer: “Hey, I was wondering if you guys sell World of Warcraft subscriptions?”

Me: “Yes, we do. The cards are over there on that carousel. They only come in a two-month pack, though, so it’ll be $29.99. Is that all right?”

Customer: “Oh, yeah, that’s perfect. It means I can get rid of these!”

(At this he takes out a GIGANTIC zip-lock bag of quarters and plops it on the counter in front of me. I stare at it in disbelief for a second and look helplessly at my supervisor… but he’s staring helplessly, too. In fact, the rest of my coworkers and most of the Black Friday line are staring.)

Coworker: “You don’t happen to have an alternate form of payment, do you?”

Customer: *cheerfully and blissfully unaware of the several withering glares being sent his way* “Nope!”

(I had no choice but to count out $30 in quarters in the middle of Black Friday. Ten minutes later, after he gets his subscription, picks up his giant zip-lock bag, and leaves, the next customer comes up with an aghast look on his face.)

Next Customer: “It’s Black Friday, for f***s sake! Who DOES that?!”

Abandon All Hope All Ye Who Abandon Your Children

| MD, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids

(One customer repeatedly leaves her six-year-old in the store for hours at a time. The kid would try to tear the controllers off our demo machines, throw game boxes, and sometimes rip down entire displays. After a particularly busy morning in the holiday season, the customer walks her son in, and then makes to leave.)

Me: “Ma’am, you’ve forgotten your child.”

Woman: “I’ll be right back. He’ll be fine.”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry but you can’t leave your child here unattended.”

Woman: “I’m just going to be fifteen minutes. Watch him for me.”

Me: “Ma’am, we are not a daycare and I cannot assume responsibility for your kid. I see kids dragged out of the store screaming and crying because their parents won’t buy them something, and I have no way of knowing if a kid is being a brat or being abducted by a random stranger.”

Woman: “You’re telling me that you’d let my kid get taken?”

(I sigh, because that usually is enough to scare the parent into watching their kid better. My manager, who had been dealing with customers but had been paying attention, called out from behind the counter.)

Manager: “Ma’am, if you leave your child here I’m going to call the social services and report that the child’s been abandoned.”

(The customer’s eyes widen. She grabs her child by the arm and drags him out.)

Me: “Can we even do that?”

Manager: “No idea, but she doesn’t know that.”