Helplessly Explaining Being Helpful

| WI, USA | Bizarre

(I regularly go to a local game store. I’m rather well-versed in video games, consoles, etc, so I’m helping an old lady decide on a game for her son. After we decide on a few games, she thanks me and goes to pay. Someone else comes up, thinking I work there.)

Customer: “Excuse me, dear?”

Me: “Yes?”

Customer: “Do you work here? Could you help me?”

Me: “I don’t work here, but I’d be happy to help.”

(With that, I help explain the differences between the Xbox 360 and the PS3. Another customer is watching this entire exchange, and comes up as soon as we’re done.)

Customer #2: “Okay, I got what I wanted, so could you ring me up?”

Me: *thinking she’s joking* “No, sorry. I wish I worked here.”

Customer #2: “But I saw you helping others!”

Me: “Yes…?”

Customer #2: “So you MUST work here!” *she stomps her foot a little with this*

Me: “No, ma’am, I don’t, but the man at the cash register can help you when he’s finished with the others.”

Customer #2: “Why would you help people if you’re not getting paid for it?”

Me: “…”

Put A Freeze On PS3 Returns

| TX, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

(I’m manning the cash register when a customer comes in with a PS3 box.)

Customer: “Hey, I bought this from you guys new a couple of weeks ago and it’s overheating. Could I get an exchange?”

Me: “Sure! Let me just test it out so I can give our refurb guys an exact account of what happens.”

(I take out the system out of the box to find that it’s pretty cold and a bit damp.)

Me: “Um, sir, is there a reason your PS3 is wet?”

Customer: “Oh yeah. I stuck it in the freezer for a little while to cool it down when it got hot.”

Me: “…You stuck your PS3, an electronic device… in the freezer?”

Customer: “Yeah, because it was hot.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but this system is now water damaged by your own actions. I can’t exchange it.”

Customer: “What?! Why the h*** not?!”

Me: “Even if it was faulty before, because you put in the freezer your warranty is void.”

Customer: “That’s stupid! What the h*** am I supposed to do now?!”

Me: “You could maybe try calling Sony tech support, but they’ll probably just tell you the same thing.”

Customer: “So you’re saying I just spent $200 dollars for nothing! Can’t you do anything?!”

Me: “The only thing I can do is to advise you to NOT put electronics in the freezer. Maybe put a fan on it next time.”

(I smiled sweetly and he glared at me and stormed out with his overheated and frozen PS3.)

‘X’ Marks The Spot-Box

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Bizarre, Technology

(I’m working in a mall at a well-known video game store and I’ve been there for a few years. We have a policy that if someone buys a warranty for their system we will replace it, no questions asked.)

Customer: “You know the system warranty?”

Me: “Yep, covers everything, no questions asked.”

Customer: “No questions asked… Are you sure?”

Me: “Sure, that’s the policy.”

(Customer reaches into his bag and pulls out an Xbox with an axe embedded in it.)

Customer: “I’d like a replacement.”

Me: “How did that happen?”

Customer: “You said no questions.”

Me: “Uuuh… would you like to take back the axe?”

Customer: “No questions!”

(He proceeds to attempt to yank out the axe, but fails to do so.)

Customer: “New one?”

(I look at him incredulously.)

Me: “Yep”

(I replaced his Xbox. Later, I brought it up with a coworker from another store. He beat my story with a Dreamcast that he replaced that had bullet holes.)