Grand Theft Innocence: Part 13

| ON, Canada | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

Me: “[Store], thanks for calling. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Hi, do you guys sell games?”

Me: “Yes, we do, sir, as well as consoles and accessories.”

Customer: “Woah, that’s so cool, man. Hey, do you guys have GTA: Vice City?”

Me: “Yes, we do, sir. We have both new and used copies.”

Customer: “Cool man. Is there somewhere I can meet you to pick this up?”

Me: “Our store is located at [Address]. You can just come here and get it, but we’re closing in half an hour.”

Customer: “No, no, man, ya gotta meet me somewhere halfway.”

Me: “Sir, I can’t leave the store with unpaid merchandise. Maybe it would be better if you just came here tomorrow; we open at 9:30.”

Customer: “Okay, okay, I got a spot we can meet. I’ll be at [some alley lane I’ve never heard of] in half an hour. Bring the game.” *click*

Related:
Grand Theft Innocence, Part 12
Grand Theft Innocence, Part 11
Grand Theft Innocence, Part 10

Tis The Season For Unreason, Part 3

| Albany, NY, USA | Crazy Requests, Holidays

(It is the day after Christmas and we’re desperately trying to work through the heavy traffic in the store. The line is about 20 minutes from the end to being helped.)

Me: “May I help the next customer in line?”

(A customer comes up with a fussy infant in her arms, an eight-year-old, and a five-year-old. The eight-year-old places a marketing box on the counter.)

Customer: “”He wants that and has gift cards.”

Me: “All right, let me just double check if I have this in stock right now.” *looks up in computer* “Oh, unfortunately it looks like we’ve run out, but [5 other locations] all have this item. Would you like me to call and have them hold one for you, or if you would rather I can order it from our online store right here and you can use your gift cards today? We offer free shipping right to your home.”

Customer: *screaming* “I have been waiting in line for 30 minutes with what is obviously an irritated child and you don’t HAVE it?! Shame on you for having the box out!”

Me: “I’m really very sorry but we are required to display the marketing until a certain date regardless of stock because the company has paid for the space in the store.”

Customer: “Well, it’s false advertising and I can’t believe I just waited for nothing! I had to get them all in the car and then we waited here. You obviously don’t know how hard that is to do!”

Me: “I realize it is an event to do so however you can see our current stock through our online site and then call us to hold an item to guarantee we’ll have one for when you get here. Unfortunately, we’ve been out of this item since before Christmas and we haven’t gotten any new shipment because of the holidays.”

Customer: “I am never shopping here again, ridiculous!”

Related:
Tis The Season For Unreason, Part 2
Tis The Season For Unreason

Looking For Rated S

| CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Rude & Risque, Technology

(I’m working at a well-known video game chain store when two of our regulars – a man and his teenage son – walk into the store. They browse the shelves for a while before coming over to me.)

Father: *places Call of Duty game on counter* “What is this game rated ‘M’ for?”

Me: “Violence and language, if I remember correctly. Let me check to make sure.”

Father: “No sexual content?”

Me: *checking computer* “No, sir.”

Father: *to son* “Come on, dude, let’s find another game.”

He Needs To Be Taken Outside And Quartered

| NH, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money

(It’s Black Friday and the line has never shortened or ended since we opened.)

Customer: “Hey, I was wondering if you guys sell World of Warcraft subscriptions?”

Me: “Yes, we do. The cards are over there on that carousel. They only come in a two-month pack, though, so it’ll be $29.99. Is that all right?”

Customer: “Oh, yeah, that’s perfect. It means I can get rid of these!”

(At this he takes out a GIGANTIC zip-lock bag of quarters and plops it on the counter in front of me. I stare at it in disbelief for a second and look helplessly at my supervisor… but he’s staring helplessly, too. In fact, the rest of my coworkers and most of the Black Friday line are staring.)

Coworker: “You don’t happen to have an alternate form of payment, do you?”

Customer: *cheerfully and blissfully unaware of the several withering glares being sent his way* “Nope!”

(I had no choice but to count out $30 in quarters in the middle of Black Friday. Ten minutes later, after he gets his subscription, picks up his giant zip-lock bag, and leaves, the next customer comes up with an aghast look on his face.)

Next Customer: “It’s Black Friday, for f***s sake! Who DOES that?!”

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Abandon All Hope All Ye Who Abandon Your Children

| MD, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids

(One customer repeatedly leaves her six-year-old in the store for hours at a time. The kid would try to tear the controllers off our demo machines, throw game boxes, and sometimes rip down entire displays. After a particularly busy morning in the holiday season, the customer walks her son in, and then makes to leave.)

Me: “Ma’am, you’ve forgotten your child.”

Woman: “I’ll be right back. He’ll be fine.”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry but you can’t leave your child here unattended.”

Woman: “I’m just going to be fifteen minutes. Watch him for me.”

Me: “Ma’am, we are not a daycare and I cannot assume responsibility for your kid. I see kids dragged out of the store screaming and crying because their parents won’t buy them something, and I have no way of knowing if a kid is being a brat or being abducted by a random stranger.”

Woman: “You’re telling me that you’d let my kid get taken?”

(I sigh, because that usually is enough to scare the parent into watching their kid better. My manager, who had been dealing with customers but had been paying attention, called out from behind the counter.)

Manager: “Ma’am, if you leave your child here I’m going to call the social services and report that the child’s been abandoned.”

(The customer’s eyes widen. She grabs her child by the arm and drags him out.)

Me: “Can we even do that?”

Manager: “No idea, but she doesn’t know that.”

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