A Wii Bit Confused

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(A customer hands me a Wii accessory.)

Customer: “Do I need this?”

Me: “Not really. That’s up to you, how often do you play with your Wii?”

Customer: “Do I have a Wii?”

Me: “I don’t know, do you?”

Customer: “…oh…” *wanders off*

One Man’s Trash Is Another Man’s Pleasure

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(A few years ago, a particular game went through a scandal for having hidden pornographic content.)

Customer: “Hi, I’d like to trade in this game.”

Me: “Sorry, sir, I can’t take this game.”

Customer: “Why not?”

Me: “Because it’s undergoing a rating change. We’ve sent all of our existing copies back to the company.”

Customer: “Well, that’s dumb. What’s it being changed to?”

Me: “AO, or Adults Only.”

Customer: “Woah. Why?”

Me: “Because there’s a pornographic mini-game hidden in the coding.”

Customer: “So, you’re telling me there’s porn in my game?”

Me: “Yes, sir.”

(Suddenly, another customer behind him speaks up.)

Another customer “If you don’t want it, can I have it?”

Coming Soon: Backup Singer Hero

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(I’m shopping in a video game store, and an older, overweight, bald man comes into the store alone and proceeds to ask the greatest question I have ever heard.)

Customer: “Do you have the singing game that lets YOU be the star?”

What A Bad Decision Looks Like

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(A woman comes into our store with her three children, one 5-6 years old, one toddler, and another still in a stroller. The eldest children immediately grab Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas off the shelves and beseech their mother.)

Children: “Mommy, Mommy! Can we have this one?”

Customer: “Sure, honey.”

Me: “Ma’am, that’s not a game for children.”

Customer: “What do you mean?”

Me: “Well, it’s rated Mature. That means it has lots of violence, and I also know it’s got drugs and sexual themes. It’s really meant for adults only.”

Customer: *turning back to her boys* “Are you SURE this is the one you want?”

Children: *eyes now bulging with excitement after they overheard my description* “YES! YES!”

Customer: “Okay, then.”

The Greater Of Two Evils

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(A customer with a small child comes into our video game store and slams The Sims 2 down on the counter angrily.)

Customer: “Someone bought my son this game for his birthday. It’s completely unsuitable! Far too many adult themes!”

Me: “Well, provided you have the receipt, you can exchange it for a more suitable game if you’d like.”

Customer: “Okay, can you show me some games my son would like? Remember, he is only eight!”

Me: “Sure…”

(I show her a variety of games that would be fine for that age group.)

Customer: “What about this one?” *points to Grand Theft Auto: San

Customer’s kid: “Yeah mum! I want that one!”

Me: “Erm…I wouldn’t say that is a suitable replacement really…”

Customer: “Well why not?”

Me: “Well it’s about crime, and there are a lot of adult themes.”

Customer: “But you can have sex and children in The Sims!”

(I tried to convince her otherwise, but in the end she ended up buying GTA for her kid.)

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