(My friend and I are looking through games when I hear this transaction between the clerk and a mother and her child of about nine.)

Clerk: “How can I—”

Mother: “Look. I ain’t got time for any of this bulls***. Just give the kid what he wants but keep it under $50.”

(She then proceeds to leave and sit in an illegally parked car outside.)

Boy: “Give me Grand Theft Auto NOW and my dad won’t f*** you up.”

Clerk: “Sorry, buddy, I can’t sell you an M-rated game; you gotta be over 17 to get games like that.”

(The boy, swearing under his breath, walks over to a game rack and starts throwing game after game over his shoulder. Then, he screams and storms out, throwing games onto the floor behind him.)

Me: *to the clerk* “What the holy sweet Jesus monkey f*** was that about?”

Clerk: *shrugs and starts to pick up games off the floor*

(This story happens to two friends of mine around ten years ago. One of them is a cashier at a video game store; the other has arrived at that same store to pre-order a copy of Pokémon Platinum. The cashier friend’s supervisor is there alongside them. The pick-up goes smoothly, until…)

Friend #1: “As you are pre-ordering a copy, you get a figure as a gift!”

Friend #2: “Really?”

Supervisor: “And it’s made of gelatin!”

(Both friends are confused after those words.)

Both Friends: “Of gelatin?”

(The supervisor looks for a pamphlet supporting what she said.)

Supervisor: “Yes! It says so right here. Look!”

(They look at the pamphlet that says that, with a pre-order, you get a Giratina figure.)

Friend #1: “[Supervisor], Giratina is the Pokémon’s name.”

Supervisor: “Huh?”

Friend #1: “[Supervisor], Giratina. It’s not made of gelatin.”

Supervisor: “You don’t say! I was telling everyone that we were giving away gelatin figures!”

(I work at a fairly well-known video game chain that often has deals for older pre-owned games, like four for $10 or four for $20, etc. Although I’ve seen several variations of this same conversation, this particular encounter takes place during a sale where games $4.99 and under are four for $10. At this point, I have already talked to these customers, informed them very clearly that all games under $5 are four for $10, and left them to do their shopping.)

Me: *as the customers are walking up to my register* “So, did y’all find everything all right this evening?”

Customer’s Wife: “We sure did! Someone gave our grandkids an Xbox as a gift, and we figured we might find them some games for when they come to visit. I can’t believe you have so many 360 games, and at such good prices, too!”

Me: *noticing the four games they’ve brought me are each $20 to $30* “Well, I’m glad you think so! We try to keep as good of a collection as we can in stock.”

(I ring up the games and give them their total, which is well into the $90 range. The husband nods and puts his card into the chip reader. The wife freaks out before he can enter his PIN.)

Customer’s Wife: “Wait, why is our total $90?!”

Me: *mentally hoping she just noticed our loyalty card pricing instead of the actual price* “Well, ma’am, this bottom price here is if y’all had our [loyalty program] card. Since you’ve told me you don’t, you’re getting this price.” *gestures to the top price*

Customer’s Wife: “Excuse me, but those games are four for $10.”

Me: “I’m sorry about the confusion, ma’am. The four for $10 is, unfortunately, only for games under $5.”

Customer’s Wife: “There was absolutely no sign saying that the games had to be under $5! This is ridiculous.”

(She storms back over to the section to “prove that the sign doesn’t say the price range.” I know very well that all the signs clearly say $4.99 and under, and it’s almost as big a piece of text as the “four for $10” portion.)

Customer: *shakes his head* “Sorry about that.”

Me: “It’s all right. We all read the signs wrong sometimes. I really do hope that your grandkids enjoy the games.”

Customer’s Wife: *from the game section* “See, it says right here—” *stops, presumably because she’s actually read the sign this time and has seen how clearly it is marked* “Hmph. Well.” *glares at me* “Maybe I did misread the sign.”

Me: “It happens to the best of us, ma’am. I hope y’all have a wonderful night.”

(I am opening the store on a Saturday, and it is having a special event for game figurines. Immediately after I unlock the front door, approximately ten customers rush in. One comes directly to the registers, and the others go to the figurines on the wall next to the registers.)

Customer #1: *a youngish guy* “Hi! I’d like to return this game.”

Me: “No problem!” *looks over receipt while talking* “Did you have any problems with it?”

Customer #1: “Yeah, I did. I tried several times to get it to—”

Customer #2: *middle-aged woman, interrupting by yelling and waving her arms in the air at me* “HELLO? EXCUSE ME? YOU HAVE CUSTOMERS OVER HERE, TOO! GET OVER HERE AND HELP!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I’m in the middle of helping this guy. I’ll be over when I finish.”

Customer #2: “No! He isn’t the only customer in here. You have to help us, too. We have questions!”

Me: “Listen, he was first in line and I’m in the middle of a transaction. You’re going to have to wait.”

Customer #2: “NO! You need to get over here NOW!” *turning to the other customers sifting through the items with her* “Can you believe her? Why the h*** is she even here?! She doesn’t want to help me? She should just go home. Plenty of people are out of jobs right now and would line up to take her position!” *then yelling to me while I’m still helping [Customer #1]* “You hear me? Why are you here?! You should quit if you don’t want to do your job!”

Customer #1: *to me* “I feel your pain. I used to work at [Big Box Store] so I know what it’s like to work with ridiculous people who have no manners.”

Me: “I know, right?! Thank you for understanding and being patient while she yells at me.”

([Customer #1] walks out and [Customer #2] gets in line behind a few other people. I help out those people and she comes up to the counter.)

Customer #2: “Yeah, it’s me.” *with attitude as she steps up with her daughter* “We’re getting this.” *hands me her merchandise*

(I ring up her stuff, give her the free poster that I have on hand to give out during the special event, and send her on her way. Halfway to the door, she turns around and yells at me while I’m in the middle of another transaction.)

Customer #2: “Whoa, whoa! Wait. We were supposed to get the free toy with our purchase!”

(She moves the customer in front of me out of her way.)

Me: “No, ma’am. Actually, the free toy was with the purchase of a select few items.”

(I show her the list of things she had to buy.)

Customer #2: “No! I have the email right here.” *shows me* “And it says we just had to buy this!”

Me: “I was told by upper management that the toys are reserved for these—” *showing her the select purchases* “—only.”

Customer #2: “I want them! Give them to me now!” *to the other customers in line* “She’s just hiding them for herself! She’s going to take them and give them to her friends!”

Me: “Look, I’ve never even played this game and I don’t give a d*** about these toys.” *puts a toy on the counter* “But here, anything to get rid of you.”

(She grabs the toy and storms out of the store while the other customers stare at her behavior in shock.)

Customer #3: “Hello! I’d like this, please, and I promise I’m not here for those toys.” 

Me: “What a relief!”

(I’m buying a couple of items at a game store, and the total is $38. The cashier and I are making small talk as I hand her a $20 and a $5.)

Cashier: *realizing the money I handed her isn’t enough* “I’m sorry, your total is $38.”

Me: “Oh! I’m sorry, I thought that was a ten instead of a five.”

Cashier: “…”

Me: “…which still wouldn’t have been enough. I’m sorry, I can’t do math today.”

(I felt a little embarrassed, but at least she got a good chuckle out of it!)