Don’t Egg On The Eggman

| Kentucky, USA | Right | June 5, 2012

(I am a regular customer at a locally-owned game store. It’s a really nice store, with an in-house arcade and snack bar. We also have weekly gaming and card game tournaments, one of which is going on during the time of this story. I’m browsing a bit, when I overhear this conversation between an employee, who is also my friend, and a customer.)

Employee: “Hi, welcome to [store]. Are you looking for anything in particular?”

Customer: “Yeah, my money back!”

Employee: “I’ll be happy to help you with a return. What item are—”

(The customer slams a copy of Sonic the Hedgehog 2006—a notoriously bad game—onto the counter.)

Customer: “How dare you sell me this piece of s***?!”

Employee: “Sir, please don’t swear at me. Now, would you like cash or store credit?”

Customer: “Give me f***ing cash! This s***hole of a store doesn’t deserve a quality gamer like me to shop here!”

Employee: “Okay, I can give you $5 for this.”

Customer: “FIVE DOLLARS? FIVE F***ING DOLLARS? THAT’S OUTRAGEOUS!”

Employee: “Sir, please calm down.”

Customer: “I PAID FULL PRICE FOR THIS GAME!”

Employee: “Sir, the price sticker is still on here. You paid $10, which is nowhere near the full price.”

Customer: “YOU’RE TRYING TO F***ING RIP ME OFF!”

(The employee motions towards the kids playing a popular trading card game nearby.)

Employee: “Sir, there are children in this store. If you can’t calm down and properly behave, I’ll have to ask you to leave.”

(Suddenly, the customer flings the game to the side. He then goes on a rampage throughout the store, flings merchandise off of the shelves and flips over one of the claw machines in the arcade in his rage. The employee called security and the customer was dragged out, still thrashing and swearing!)

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The Fabled Land Of Equality

| Athens, OH, USA | Working | June 4, 2012

(About two months before the release of Fable III for Xbox 360, I walked into our local Gamestop to preorder the special edition. I’m a girl. Here’s what happened.)

Male Cashier: *to my boyfriend* “You finding everything okay?”

Boyfriend: “Sure.”

Me: “I need to preorder the special edition Fable III.”

Male Cashier: *to my boyfriend* “You want to order Fable III?”

Boyfriend: “No.”

Me: “I want to order Fable III .”

Male Cashier: *to me* “The Nintendo DS games are over there. We just got the new Nintendogs.”

Me: “I am not interested in Nintendogs. Am I able to preorder the special edition Fable III ? I want the version that comes with the deck of cards and the Hobbe statue.”

Male Cashier: *to my boyfriend* “She’s ordering you the new Fable III?”

(Note that my boyfriend is on other side of the store looking at Wii games.)

Boyfriend: “No, but I would like to preorder Harry Potter 7 for Wii.”

Male Cashier: *to me* “You want to preorder Harry Potter 7 for Xbox?”

Me: “Dude. No. I want to preorder the $150 Limited Edition Fable III. I assume I can do that. Can I give you my money? I can come back tomorrow if you don’t understand.”

Male Cashier: *to my boyfriend* “You want me to ring up both your games in one transaction? You’re getting Fable III and Harry Potter, right?”

Boyfriend: “No, I don’t think I want the Harry Potter now. However, she wants to preorder Fable III.”

Male Cashier: “Okay, if you change your mind please let me know.”

(At this point, another male cashier arrives at work and approaches me.)

Other Male Cashier: *to me* “Can I help you with something?”

Me: “Yes. I want to preorder the special edition of Fable III.”

Other Male Cashier: “Oh! For your boyfriend?”

Boyfriend: “Hahahahaha!”

Me: “You all suck.”

First Male Cashier: “Wait. You play Fable?”

Me: *facepalm*

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May Top Story Roundup: Skyrim, Smoothies, Soap, Shadows, And Slips!

, , , , | Not Always Right | Right | May 27, 2012

May Top Story Roundup: From running thieves to running children, May’s top stories were filled with customers with nothing mentally running upstairs!

  1. Dovahkiin’s Day Off:
    A video game thief gets taken down, Dragonborn-style, by an unexpected hero.
  2. The Golden Rude:
    A delicious tale of a rude coffee customer getting what he deserves!
  3. Self Disservice:
    “Employees Must Wash Hands” and “Entitled Customers” don’t mix!
  4. Dumb Without Shadow Of A Doubt:
    A sandwich shop customer gets stupid over a shadow.
  5. Traveling At The Speed Of Stupid:
    An irresponsible parent slips up big time with her bratty offspring!

PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

The Boss-tomer Is Always Right

| Vancouver, BC, Canada | Right | May 25, 2012

(I am overhearing a heated argument between a very rude customer and my manager.)

Customer: “This game isn’t working like it’s supposed to. I demand a full refund!”

Manager: “Once again, sir, the packaging’s already been opened. I’m afraid there’s not much I can do. If you had read the packaging before opening it, you would have known that this game would not be compatible with your system.”

Customer: “That’s a lie! You are lying to me! This game is d*** well compatible. This one is just defective!”

(I walk over to where my manager and the customer is. Much to my horror, I am met with a very unpleasant surprise: the customer is actually my boss at my second job.)

Customer: “Hey! [my name]! Help me out here! This guy clearly doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”

Me: “Well, [boss], why don’t you explain to me your side of the story, since I just joined in?”

Customer: “I tried to run this game on my girlfriend’s laptop and it won’t work. Now this guy over here is trying to tell me that it isn’t supposed to work!”

Me: “Um, well, he’s right. That game isn’t compatible with computers. This is an Xbox 360 game.”

Customer: “Aww, for Christ’s sake, not you too! My girlfriend’s laptop runs Windows. Windows is Microsoft. Xbox is also Microsoft.”

Me: “No, I’m afraid it doesn’t work that way. If it did, that would defeat the purpose of having two separate products.”

Customer: “Don’t give me that bulls***! I want my money back now!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but you really should’ve asked an employee before you bought that game, or at least read the back of the box. We can’t take back opened products.”

Customer: “You really gonna talk to me like that? Well, fine! You better start working here full-time now, because as of now, your a** is fired from MY shop!”

(My now ex-boss takes his game and angrily leaves the store. What does he do for a living? He’s the owner of a retail shop and his return policy is much more strict than ours.)

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Thar She ISOs

| Hollywood, FL, USA|USA | Right | May 24, 2012

Customer: “You guys buy games, right?”

Me: “That’s right.”

Customer: “Any games, right?”

Me: “Unless we have several of them in stock, or they’re in very poor condition, yes.”

Customer: “So, you’ll take any games as long as there’s no scratches and you don’t have a bunch of them, right?”

Me: “Correct.”

Customer: “Okay, good! I’ve got 20 games here that I wanna sell.”

(The man opens the shoebox he’s been carrying and starts to unload a number of discs onto the counter.)

Me: “Uh, sir…I can’t take these games.”

Customer: “Why not? You just said you could!”

Me: “Because they’re illegally copied games.”

Customer: “But you said you’d take them!”

Me: “Not if they’re DVD-Rs with the names written in Sharpie!”

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