When Customers Have You At A Loss

| Allentown, PA, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “What do I need to get a warranty for my Xbox?”

Me: “Depends, did you buy it new or used?”

Customer: “Used.”

Me: “Okay, you still have the receipt?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Okay, if it’s been less then two weeks you can bring the receipt down here and we can sell you a warranty that’ll extend the manufacturer warranty for another 2 years.”

Customer: “So, if I bring my Xbox over tomorrow and buy a warranty you can replace it for me right then?”

Me: “Wait, what?”

Customer: “My Xbox broke about a week ago and I wanted to know if I could get a warranty tomorrow and you guys give me a new one.”

Me: “How long ago did you buy this?”

Customer: “Two years ago.”

Me: “No, you can’t do that.”

Customer: “What!? Why not? You just said I could.”

Me: “Sir, that’s like buy a car, driving it through the wall of an insurance company and then climbing out and asking for full coverage. It’s just not going to happen. It’s bad business.”

Customer: “Well, f*** you then!”

Wireless, Clueless, & Hopeless, Part 3

| California, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Thanks for calling [store], how may I help you?”

Customer: “Hello. I have a console that can connect to the internet and every time I try to connect it asks for a password. It didn’t used to do that. Is there any way I can create a password for it?”

Me: “That’s odd. Did you get a new router for your internet connection?”

Customer: “A what?”

Me: “Do you have wireless internet in your house?”

Customer: “I don’t have internet.”

Me: “Sir, you are connecting to your neighbor’s internet. They didn’t like it so they put a password on their network so that you can’t connect to it.”

Customer: “So can I set up a password and connect to it?”

Wireless Clueless & Hopeless, Part 2
Wireless Clueless & Hopeless

A Wii Bit Confused

, | Sydney, Australia | Uncategorized

(A customer hands me a Wii accessory.)

Customer: “Do I need this?”

Me: “Not really. That’s up to you, how often do you play with your Wii?”

Customer: “Do I have a Wii?”

Me: “I don’t know, do you?”

Customer: “…oh…” *wanders off*

One Man’s Trash Is Another Man’s Pleasure

| Colorado Springs, CO, USA | Uncategorized

(A few years ago, a particular game went through a scandal for having hidden pornographic content.)

Customer: “Hi, I’d like to trade in this game.”

Me: “Sorry, sir, I can’t take this game.”

Customer: “Why not?”

Me: “Because it’s undergoing a rating change. We’ve sent all of our existing copies back to the company.”

Customer: “Well, that’s dumb. What’s it being changed to?”

Me: “AO, or Adults Only.”

Customer: “Woah. Why?”

Me: “Because there’s a pornographic mini-game hidden in the coding.”

Customer: “So, you’re telling me there’s porn in my game?”

Me: “Yes, sir.”

(Suddenly, another customer behind him speaks up.)

Another customer “If you don’t want it, can I have it?”

Coming Soon: Backup Singer Hero

| Chicago, IL, USA | Uncategorized

(I’m shopping in a video game store, and an older, overweight, bald man comes into the store alone and proceeds to ask the greatest question I have ever heard.)

Customer: “Do you have the singing game that lets YOU be the star?”