Being Ageless Gets Old

| Vancouver, BC, Canada | Right | October 13, 2012

(A customer comes to my till with a video game. This particular game is for ages 17 and up, but the customer looks no older than 14 or 15.)

Me: “Sir, this game is rated M. Are you over 17 years of age?”

Customer: *sighs* “Alright, hang on. I’ll be back in a minute.”

(The customer leaves the store. Later, he comes back with an older woman, who I assume is his mother.)

Woman: “Honey, which game is it that you wanted?”

Customer: “This one.”

(The customer comes back to my till once more, holding the game he was trying to purchase, with the older woman in tow.)

Me: “Ma’am, just so you know, this game is rated M, so it’s normally meant for people ages 17 and up.”

Woman: “Oh, that won’t be a problem.”

Me: “Just to double-check with you, ma’am, this game’s contents can be pretty violent, so it may not be appropriate for your son.”

Woman: *chuckles* “Oh, he’s not my son.”

Me: “I apologize. But once again, it might not be appropriate for your…nephew? Little brother? Cousin?”

Woman: “He’s none of those, silly! He’s my husband!”

Me: “Whaaaaaaaa?”

(The customer then pulls out his driver’s license, which I carefully examine. According to his date of birth, he’s 33 years old.)

Me: “Okay, so you had ID. Why didn’t you just show me that?”

Customer: “Look at how short and baby-faced I am! If I showed you my ID from the beginning, you would probably think it was fake!”

Me: “Fair enough, you got me there. I mean no disrespect by this, but I did think you were about 14.”

Customer: “Yeah, looking like this is both a blessing and a curse. I even quit drinking because it’s too much of a hassle to buy beer!”

(The customer pays for his game and leaves, while his wife is tries to stifle her laughter.)

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Rated I For Immature, Part 2

| Victoria, BC, Canada | Right | October 7, 2012

(A friend and I are working a late shift at a popular video game store. Two kids come in and pick up a copy of Halo 3. This happens to be a mature-rated game (18+), and these kids are obviously far short of that.)

Kid #1: “I’ll take this.”

Coworker: “Sorry, you need to be over 18 to buy that. This is a mature-rated game.”

Kid #2: “YOUR MOM IS A MATURE RATED GAME!”

Coworker: “Get out!”

(The kids swear at us as they leave. The two of us look at each other.)

Me: “What the h*** just happened?!”

Related:
Rated I For Immature

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Someone Please Shatter The Triforce Of Chauvinism

| Provo, UT, USA | Working | September 26, 2012

(For my brother’s birthday, my parents have set up a treasure hunt all over the city. I am going with him. We’ve stopped in various businesses when the employees are excited to be included, giving us the clue and/or present my parents left and wishing my brother a happy birthday. Keep in mind my brother has a unisex name, while I am female.)

My Brother: “Oh, wow! I get to go to

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!”

Me: “Yeah, I wonder what the next clue is…”

My Brother: “Oh, crap! I have to go to the bathroom! You get the clue!”

(My brother runs off while I walk into the store and talk to the cashier.)

Me: “Hi, I was wondering if you have any notes for [brother’s name]?”

Male Cashier: “UGH, they left this for a GIRL?”

(The cashier holds up Skyward Sword, a very popular Zelda video game that my brother and I want.)

Me: “Despite the fact I really want that game, it’s for—”

Male Cashier: “I bet you only want it because your boyfriend plays it and you want to impress him! Do you even have a Wii?”

Me: “I am single, and of course, I have a Wii, PS2, Gamecube, and a 3DS. Can I have the game now?”

Male Cashier: “See?! You’re lying! There is no such thing as a Gamecube!”

Me: “Yes, there is. It just is outdated. Can I PLEASE have the game?”

(At this point, my brother comes running into the store.)

My Brother: “Oh, hey Sis! Did you get my game?”

(Seeing him, the cashier instantly hands the game to my brother.)

Male Cashier: “You’re lucky, sir! She almost stole your game!”

My Brother: *laughs* “Yeah, we both wanted this game for a while.”

Male Cashier: “LIES!  She thinks that a ‘Gamecube’ existed!”

My Brother: “It did. We have one.”

Male Cashier: “You’re lying! GAMECUBE NEVER EXISTED!”

(We ran as soon as we could out of there!)

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Dopey Duplicators Can’t Dupe Us

| Mississippi, USA | Right | September 22, 2012

(Keep in mind that our store keeps records of people who try to trade in or sell defective, illegally copied, or stolen merchandise. One day, a teenage customer comes in with a shoebox filled with about 40 unboxed games for the Nintendo DS.)

Coworker: “Hi, how can I help you today?”

Customer: “I’d just like to get some cash for these games.”

Coworker: “Alright, I just need to see some ID…”

(My coworker does a quick check and finds that this particular customer is known for having sold us defective and illegally copied games.)

Coworker: “Do all of these games work?”

Customer: *face turns bright red* “Uhh… y-yeah. Yeah, they… they do.”

Coworker: “Are you sure?”

Customer: “Y-yeah.”

Coworker: “Mind if I test this one out?”

(My coworker proceeds to pull out his Nintendo DS. By now, the customer knows he’s been caught and begins shaking.)

Customer: “Y-you know what, never mind. I’m f-f***ing outta here!”

(He left his entire box of games on the counter. Most of them didn’t work, and the ones that did work were obviously copied. We never saw the kid again.)

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Loopholes Lead To Loopy Souls And Sticky Soles

| Newington, NH, USA | Working | September 19, 2012

(I’m browsing in a video game store in the local mall. I have my purse and a bag with items I purchased from another store. When I leave, the door alarm goes off and I freeze. Since this is the first time this has happened to me, I’m unsure of what to do. An employee walks over to me.)

Me: “Um… do you need to search my bag?”

Employee: “No, we’re not allowed to do that.  Did you take anything you maybe FORGOT to pay for?” *winks*

Me: “Uh, no. I actually don’t think I even picked anything up.”

Employee: “Sure, whatever. Walk through it again.”

(I walk through, and the alarm goes off again.)

Employee: “Are you SURE you didn’t take anything?”

Me: “Yes, I’m sure. You’re welcome to check my bag if you like.”

Employee: “We’re not allowed to do that!”

Me: “So, can I go now?”

Employee: “Alarms just don’t go off for fun. There has to be a reason. Look, just give me back whatever you took and you can leave.”

Me: “I honestly did not take anything! You can look in my bag!”

Employee: “I CAN’T DO THAT!”

Me: “So, what’s the procedure?”

Employee: “Procedure?”

Me: “Yes. Since you’re not allowed to look in bags, what do you do when the alarm goes off?”

Employee: “I don’t know. Usually when it goes off, the person makes a run for it.”

Me: “So, what do we do?”

Employee: “I don’t know.”

Me: “Can I go?”

Employee: “Um… I guess so.”

(I walk out and the alarm goes off again. When I get to the mall’s hard floor, I can hear tapping when I walk. The employee, who is still standing there, notices it too. I lift up my foot and find a sticker alarm stuck to the bottom of my shoe. I peel it off and hand it to the employee.)

Me: “A-ha! There’s our answer! I must have stepped on this while I was in the store!”

Employee: “Well, why didn’t you just say that in the first place?!”

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