Surviving The Spiel Game

| ON, Canada | Working | October 12, 2016

(I am visiting the local game store for the first time in four months. This chain used to have a bad reputation for corporate forcing employees to pester customers, but in recent years they’ve gotten a lot better. At least until…)

New Employee: “Hi, can I help you find anything?”

Me: “No, thanks, just browsing.”

New Employee: “No problem. Is there anything you wanted to pre-order? You only need to put $5 down!”

Me: “No… thank you, still just browsing.”

(A few minutes later, as I’m checking out.)

New Employee: “Ah, I see you have our customer rewards card. Would you be interested in upgrading to the platinum card for $30 to get a discount on all your future purchases?”

Me: “No, thanks. I just want to buy the game.”

New Employee: “Are you sure? You also get a subscription to our magazine, delivered to your door every month.”

Me: “No, thanks.”

New Employee: “All right. Was there anything you wanted to pre-order while you were here?”

Me: “Still nope. Just want to buy the game.”

New Employee: “Can I interest you in $3 disc protection for your game?”

Me: “No, thank you. Just the game.”

New Employee: “All right, your purchase comes to $16!”

Me: “Can you level with me? Do they really force you to say that spiel to every customer?”

New Employee: “We get written up if we don’t.”

Me: “I’m so sorry. I’m pretty sure corporate has no idea that tactic just scares people away.”

New Employee: “No kidding.”

(Sometimes corporate is so out-of-touch with how humans actually interact. No one in that scenario, I, the employee, or the supervisor grinning from behind her, thought harassing customers with extra crap made people want to come back.)

Didn’t Have To Wrestle With That Decision

| USA | Related | October 11, 2016

(My brother and I are browsing the used games, looking for something good to buy.)

Me: “Oh look! This game is only for $1!”

Brother: “Really?!”

Me: “Yeah! It’s about wrestling, though.”

(Neither of us are fans of wrestling. But since it’s so cheap, we decide to buy it anyways. Later, we pop it into our console. The only thing that I know about wrestling is it’s about muscled men and women beating up each other.)

Me: “Huh… it looks like you can pick up this chair… and smack your enemy with it!”

(We think this is hilarious, so we end up picking up chairs and smacking each other on the heads for hours with it and cracking up. Best dollar spent ever. Our mom stared at us like we lost our minds, though.)

The Falling Price Of Decency

| AK, USA | Right | August 23, 2016

(I work at a new and used video game store. The old corporate phone number had at some point been changed or disconnected and has since been picked up by some adult hotline.

I make an offer to a customer on a video game that the customer doesn’t agree with, so he declines and says he will take his game to the competitor down the street. While he is gone, the store owner runs an update in their system that updates some game prices and values. About a half-an-hour or so later, the same customer returns and approaches my coworker who is starting his first day.)

Customer: “Hi. I was here a little while ago and your store is offering me more than [Competitor] so I would like to take you up on the offer.”

Coworker: *scans the game, which due to the update, now is worth half as much as when the man first arrived*

(The customer is predictably angry and proceeds to argue with the new employee. He becomes increasingly aggressive until I step in.)

Me: “Is there a problem I can help with?”

Customer: “YEAH! You offered me 28 dollars earlier and now this guy only wants to offer me 10 dollars!”

Me: “Sir, there is no need to speak to my new hire this way and I’ll be happy to assist you. I was the one you spoke with earlier, but we updated our systems after you had left. You did not want our first offer, but now that the update has taken place, this is what we can offer you.”

Customer: “I WANT TO SPEAK TO YOUR MANAGER!”

Me: “I am a manager at this store.”

Customer: No, I want the manager’s phone number! Their personal cell number!”

Me: “You want their personal number?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Me: “Very well” *gives my own number*

Customer: “I’m gonna go call right now!” *leaves for car*

(The coworker is looking nervous at this point and sure enough my phone rings and I answer. After a brief exchange the doors fly open again and in walks the customer.)

Customer:” You think you’re real funny don’t you, you little punk?!”

Me: “Sir, I tried to tell you.”

Customer: “Well, now I want your corporate number. Prepare to be fired, you little s***!”

Me: “Sir, there is no corporate number. Just the store owner. We carry the [Store] title but we are independently…”

Customer: “No more of your bull-c**p! I want that number right now! Prepare for unemployment!”

Me: “Very well.” *coworker’s eyes widen to panic as I give the customer a card with the old corporate number*

Customer: “Thank you! You just wait!” *goes back to car*

(My coworker is frantically asking me why I did that and I patiently wait until the customer returns yet again.)

Customer: “I JUST GOT CHARGED 25 DOLLARS FOR SOME PORN NUMBER! WHERE IS THE OWNER!?”

Me: “Oh, she will be by around 6:30.”

Customer: “She had better be because I’m waiting right outside until she does!”

(Sure enough 6:30 rolls around and the customer is outside when the owner arrives. She has already been filled in and watched the video/audio footage of what happened. The customer comes in and begins to tell his story to which she interrupts.)

Owner: “I’ve seen the whole thing. You were made an offer you didn’t like and decided to go to the competitor. After we ran the updates, you returned and bullied my new hire. My employee tried to tell you the corporate number was no good but you were having none of it. I would like for you to leave now before I call the police.”

(The customer became enraged and began cursing and yelling at the owner before acting like he was getting ready to tower over her. She then pulled out pepper spray and gave him a final warning before he finally left, grumbling angrily.)

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‘Force’ Your Way To The Front Of The Line

| Philadelphia, PA, USA | Working | May 25, 2016

(I am standing in line waiting for the cashiers. While waiting, I’m watching the TV with one hand under my chin. An employee working around the store takes notice.)

Employee: “You look like you’re trying to lift something with your mind.”

(I thrust a hand out at a display and make a lifting gesture.)

Employee: *laughs* “Lift me out of this store.”

Give Him Free P&P For A Brain

| UK | Right | May 23, 2016

(A couple of customers walk into the store:)

Customer #1: “Hey, they have that Star Wars Expansion you want but is never available on-line!”

Customer #2: “How much is it?”

Customer #1: “Same price.”

(The second looks thoughtful for a moment…)

Customer #2: “Yeah, but it’s free P&P on-line…”

(He didn’t buy it.)

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